Alpha Killian

Alpha Killian remained silent as I slowly ate the omelet he had made me. I was grateful for the silence, but couldn't stand the concern in his flickering gaze. Part of me wanted him to go back to being cruel, so I didn't feel so terrible about trying to escape.

Rhea detested the thought, but this wasn't about her. I knew no matter what, she would insist we needed to remain with our mate. I didn't have the heart to tell her, but I knew I didn't deserve a mate, not after what had been done to me. Even a year later, I still felt disgustingly d***y.

Once I had finished, and my headache began to subside, I retreated to my bedroom. I sat on the plush bed as I contemplated how I would escape this place. I knew Alpha Killian would leave the house to work in his office for most of the day. My chances of escaping were so slim that I almost knew I would have to go with plan B, but I owed it to my family to try and escape first. At Alpha Killian's mention of my past, the walls had become much too small. As I sat on my bed gasping, I could feel myself suffocating in this place.

I set my plan in motion, deciding today would be as good a day as any to plot my escape. I wasn't sure what triggered Alpha Killian's strange concern for my well being, but it wasn't enough to heal the rift inside of me. As a child, I was told that the mate bond could heal almost anything. As an adult, I knew that wasn't the case. Some things were so horrifically broken, that no amount of tending would fix them.

I didn't bother packing any clothes, any bags would simply weigh me down. I planned to escape into the forest on foot until I was far enough to shift undetected. From there I would simply run until I collapsed.

I waited for a few hours, sitting still on the bed. Rhea continued to place unwanted pictures of Alpha Killian in my head, trying to sway my decision by any means possible. "Claire, don't do this." Rhea pleaded.

"Rhea, I can't be here. I'm drowning in this and I can't give Alpha Killian what he wants. He deserves a better mate." I replied, blinking back the tears that tried to force themselves from my eyes. "He can help you..." Rhea trailed off.

"I don't believe that. I' can't stay here and look at his face, knowing I'm not what he needs me to be. I don't deserve a mate. I'll just drag him down with me. He has an entire pack to look after, and I can't even look after myself." I choked out, a single traitorous tear falling from my eyes.

"...Then I guess we both need to do what we think is right." Rhea's sad voice echoed in my head before I felt nothing but silence. I could feel her retreat into the darkest corners of my mind.

"I guess we do." I heard my broken voice whisper, giving into the waves and allowing myself to d***n in my tears.

I let myself fall apart for a few moments, careful so the dam inside of me wouldn't break. Every so often my thoughts would flash back to the past, and another crack would spread throughout the dam. I forced the feeling of foreboding from my mind, sooner or later the dam would come crashing down. I needed to be away from here when that happened.

I looked out of my bedroom window and breathed a sigh of relief as I noticed the forest line was a mere ten feet away from the house. I forced my bedroom window open and took a few steadying breaths, jumping from the window as quietly as I could manage.

My feet landed with a silent thud, and I let my adrenaline fuel me as I took off in a sprint towards the forest. I leaped over fallen trees, ducked under low branches, and barreled through patches of tall grass in my desperate escape. The burning in my lungs was welcomed feverishly, driving away the lingering depression that settled in my bones.

A pang of terror flooded through me as I heard rustling beside me, just far enough away for my hearing to reach. I pushed myself just a little farther, finally skidding to a halt when it was time to shift.

I closed my eyes and tried to bring Rhea forth, but was welcomed with nothing.

"I can't let you do this, Claire..." Rhea's sad voice echoed in my mind.

Rage, sorrow, disbelief, denial, saddness. All of these flooded through me at Rhea's words.

I didn't bother answering her, I could feel her retreat back into the depths of my mind. Feeling hopeless and abandoned, I resumed my sprint, tears blurring my vision as I frantically ran.

I wasn't sure how long I had been running for when a giant grey wolf jumped out in front of me, blocking my path. It's knowing brown eyes looked me up and down.

I skidded to a stop, looking hastily at any other possible direction I could take. Just as I tried to move to the left, a multi colored wolf stepped from the tree's and blocked my path. A sand colored wolf stepped from the right and looked me up and down. I knew from the scent that these weren't rogues, these wolves knew exactly who I was.

Each wolf sat on it's hind legs, knowing they had me trapped. The only direction I could turn was where I had come from, where I was trying to escape.

I heard a rustling behind me and tried not to cringe as the familiar scent of sandalwood and citrus flooded through my nose.

"Claire." An all too familiar voice growled from behind me. I locked my gaze on the grey wolf who had been the first to stop me, resisting the intense urge to turn around and face my mate.

"Claire." This time his voice was deadly. I felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist and spin me around, the sparks running down my arm confirming my fears.

I turned to lock eyes with a hostile Alpha Killian. His typical silver eyes were fully black, and I knew it wasn't with I**t this time. His full lips were pressed together so tightly I wondered if they'd bruise. I knew he had recently shifted back into human form due to the pair of black sweatpants that hung low on his hips, and his shirtless torso that threatened to draw my attention

I bit my tongue until the familiar coppery taste filled my mouth.

"What do you think you are doing?" Alpha Killian spoke each word slowly, filling every syllable with his deadly tone.

As much as I wanted to remain silent, the words spewed from my mouth like vomit.

"I never wanted a mate. I still don't." I tried to match his hostility, but he had years of practice whereas I had none.

His gaze darkened even further at my words, and his grip on my wrist tightened. He wasn't hurting me, but it was a grip I wouldn't be able to pull myself from.

"Will you walk, or do I have to drag you back." His voice took on that eerie calm sound that meant his wolf was teetering on the edge of his mind, a second away from springing forward.

"I'm not going back." I growled, taking a step backwards.

A small shriek left my mouth as Alpha Killian tugged me into his chest, throwing me over his shoulder as though I were a sack of flour. Much to my dismay, he made sure to sling my face over his back, so I had nothing to latch my teeth onto. This was the second time I was left without a choice. The thought of his basement cell came into my mind and I couldn't help the fear that accompanied it. There was no way I'd be able to attempt plan B in that stupid cell.

"You are mine, whether you like it or not." Alpha Killian growled, his grip on my body tightening as he made his way through the woods.

My frustration, depression, anger, saddness, all of these emotions reached their tipping point and I found myself releasing them, taking them out on my captor.

I let my fists pound against his back, my feet kick at his chest as I screamed and thrashed. I'm sure the other wolves following us thought I was losing my mind.

"Let me go!" I screamed, pounding away at his hard back, "I don't want you! I don't deserve you! Find someone else, anyone else and let me go!" I hardly noticed the tears streaming from my eyes, or the fact that Alpha Killian's stride had halted at my words.

"Is that what you think? That you don't deserve a mate?" His voice was quiet, so quiet that I hardly heard him over my own screaming. He continued walking, and after what felt like hours, I simply gave up. I let my body slump over his shoulder in exhaustion. The point behind my eyes was throbbing, and my tears had finally dried on my cheeks. I tried to s*****w and flinched at my sore throat.

I looked away from the gazes of the three wolves that were following behind Alpha Killian, not wanting to see what they thought of their supposed 'Luna'. How could any pack have a used and broken Luna?

I kept my eyes closed until I was gently placed on a familiar fluffy bed. Prying my eyes open, I looked into the face of Alpha Killian. His eyes had returned to their bright silver color as they took in my horrific looking face. I didn't need a mirror to tell me my eyes were red and puffy from all of the tears I had failed to hold in.

"Is that what you think, Claire?" His deep voice asked, a hand running through his already messy hair.

"I don't want to talk about this." I hissed, flinching at how hoarse my voice sounded. I could feel my heart clench at his concerned tone, and I wanted nothing to do with it. The urge to run into his arms and spill all of my baggage was there, ever so present in the front of my mind, but I forced myself to remain seated. Alpha Killian deserved more than a damaged mate.

"You need to, you're not going anywhere and this is obviously eating you alive." He stated, his silver eyes roaming every crevasse of my face.

Far from my control, my face flushed under his gaze, and I let my gaze trail over to the window. His hand reached out and gently cupped my cheek, lifting my face until my gaze met his own. The sparks that ran down my face instantly soothed some of the turmoil that was going on inside of me.

"I nearly lost my mind when I heard you left." Alpha Killian spoke under his breath, his full lips turning down in a frown that for once wasn't a part of his usual grimace. I tried to not let his confession get to me, but my heart clenched at the words that left his lips.

Just when I thought my eyes had fully ran out of tears, I felt another escape and run down my numb face. Alpha Killian's silver eyes softened as he looked at the tears that ran down my face, and in a gesture that was completely unexpected, he pulled me into his arms and hugged my shaking torso.

My body was stiff as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, but my mind was on overdrive. The sparks caressed my skin greedily, sending warmth and comfort into me. Instinctively, I inhaled his scent and let it rush around in my head.

After a few moments, he pulled away from me, his face a mere inches away from my own. I could taste his breath as it rolled past his lips and into my own. Sweet peppermint danced across my tongue and attempted to draw me closer, to taste the source.

"Stop crying, Claire." His pink lips spoke the words softly, sending a jolt spiraling through my body.

"Stop crying, Claire"

Instantaneous. That's how fast the dam inside imploded. The reinforced steel, the concrete walls, all of it shattered. A tidal wave crashing cold and sharp, washed over me, buckling my legs and letting them collapse out from under me. "Stop crying, Claire." The cruel voice sneered.

This repeated in my head, even when the black spots began to take over. Even when I was sucked into the memory so violently, even Alpha Killian couldn't save me.