Alpha Divided

The day of the tribunal started like any other day. I went through the motions, but I felt like a zombie. Like it wasn't really happening to me. I wasn't sure how I expected to feel, but being resigned and numb wasn't exactly helping. I needed to be ready with my arguments. So, I did what any other nerd might do. I studied. Research was going to help me figure out what I needed to say. I read that whole damned Werewolf Bible front to back. And then I read a couple other reference books that Mr. Dawson had given me. I took notes, and at the end of it, I wasn't numb anymore, but I was a little pissed. I stomped my way from my room to the cabin. Dastien had said he'd be there prepping for the questions with Mr. Dawson. They believed that I wouldn't be held accountable for anything, but Dastien had known better than to bite me. And after I attacked Imogene that was on his head, too. The whole thing was bullshit; Imogene’s father had only registered his complaint to take the focus off his attempted coup. Which had failed. As long as Dastien could be held accountable, so could I. Dastien couldn't take the blame for me and my actions, like almost ripping out Imogene’s throat, but I knew he'd try. The truth was we were both in serious shit, and he'd known all along. Everyone had been patting me on the head saying it'd all be fine and not to worry. Fur rippled and disappeared along my arms with every step I took. When I got to Dastien’s cabin, I didn’t knock. He sat at the table with Donovan, Sebastian, Mr. Dawson, and an old man I didn't know. But I didn't care. I threw the book at Dastien, but he caught it before it hit him in the face. We're so f*****g screwed. According to Chapter Seven, paragraph fourteen, what you did is inexcusable. IN. EXCUS. ABLE. Not even a little bit okay. As in of course they have a case. I read about four other cases similar to ours—minus the whole true mate thing—and they were killed. As in no longer breathing! And you've been telling me not to worry? Just write the speech, you said. They'll Let us be together, you said. I paused to catch my breath. Are you insane? High? What? Please tell me. Because from what I've been reading all morning, we're in a whole heap of shit. Chérie— “Don’t you chérie me! I know what I read. How could you lie? I spun to Mr. Dawson, pointing a finger at him. And you. You sai everything would be fine. I turned to Sebastian and Donovan. And you two didn't say a damned thing either. I talked to you yesterday, Donovan. Told you I was worried. And you said to write from the heart and it'd all be grand. Grand, I said the last in my best Irish accent. I was coming off as a little crazed, so I took a moment to catch my breath. Don't think I'm scared of you and won't say anything. Everyone treats me like a child. It'll be fine, they say. Don't worry, they say. Well, f**k that” My blood was on fire. Fear and anger and frustration had all melded together to form one giant ball of bad emotion. I was out of breath again, panting hard. You done? Mr. Dawson said. I don't know. I couldn't think behind the mad. Donovan started to laugh, and I shot him a look. Stop laughing! It's not funny. I backed power with the command before I could stop myself. Donovan's laugh instantly died. Well, that's the first time someone's put me in my place in quite a while. Did the command get you, Dono? the stranger asked. Ill be damned, but it did. Shite. It definitely did. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to do, but I couldn't help myself. Now everyone was watching me like I was some fascinating creature. I didn't like it one bit. What? What, indeed. This is what I mean, Sebastian said. His thick German accent turned the 'w’to av’ sound. The staring made me calm down a little. Sorry. I paused. That was a lie. 'm not really all that sorry. I crossed my arms, waiting for someone to address the real issue at hand. What he did was bad. Yes, inexcusable. But there are exceptions to every rule, and we agreed that you were the exception, Sebastian said. That's why Donovan and I came to see you. If there had been a need for all of this, we would've said so then. We would've called the tribunal and made an example of the two of you, but instead we found you. Your bond with him was weaker then, but even so, we suspected what would happen if it were to strengthen. I swallowed. Sebastian's calm words got rid of most of my anger, but all I was left with was fear. Do I need to be worried about this? Beyond whatever Luciana is going to say? Be honest. Maybe, Sebastian said. If you'd gone through with the ceremony yesterday, then no. But now... It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. The panic made it hard to breathe. My chest was so tight that it felt lik an elephant was sitting on it. At least he was finally being upfront with me. So, what's next? We're all behind you, but I've a feelin’ that the Hoels will be a problem. That the coven will be a bigger problem. But we're al behind you, Donovan said. Except Ferdinand. He's been causing problems. Ferdinand? One of the Seven. I looked around the room. I'd made a really great first impression on the old man. His skin was so wrinkled that he looked a little like a Shar Pei. His eyes were bloodshot, giving him a sickened look. Whoever this guy was, he wasn't doing well. Something was wrong with him. This is Muraco, another member of the Council of Seven, Mr. Dawson said with a small smile. Oh, that was just fantastic. I'd flipped out in front of one of the guys who would be deciding my fate. I stared at him for a moment before looking back at Mr. Dawson. What can I do? What do you want? To stay here. To be with Dastien. For everyone to leave me alone. I suddenly realized why Muraco being so visibly old was so shocking. I'd never seen an old-looking Were. They always seemed young despite whatever their ages were. But Muraco looked ancient, and his skin reeked of leather and tobacco. He leaned forward over the table and it was like everyone paused as we waited to hear what he would say. No one with any amount of power will ever be left alone. You might've seen it before you moved this way. Humans were drawn to you. Maybe not in the way you would've hoped, but they didn't leave you alone, did they? And the second Dastien saw you, he couldn't leave you alone. You can't walk into a room without everyone looking at you. It will always be that way. More so now that you're both alpha and witch. You will be a magnet for all things. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be. Muraco coughed, hacking loudly. I found myself holding my breath, waiting for the noise to stop. Sebastian handed him a glass of water. Here you go, old friend. Muraco downed the water and then cleared his throat. But keeping you with your mate is something that we should be able to achieve. I let out the breath I'd been holding. Okay. For whatever reason, I trusted him—maybe it was the age or the aura of wisdom around him. Okay, I said again, as I let his words sink in. The book had been pretty clear about the rules. No exceptions. It contradicted what everyone else had said, but three of the Seven were saying that I was the exception to the inexcusable act: turning an innocent who hadn't been approved by the pack. The abomination was punishable by death in all cases. Sometimes both people involved were killed, but the biter was always executed. There was nothing worse than ignorance. I swore I'd read every book I could about the coven and the pack. I couldn't be left in the dark anymore. Sure, for a while my ignorance had been pardonable. It'd been more than I could do to adjust to this new life. But that time had passed. Dastien stood from the table, still holding the book I'd thrown at him. I'm sorry, I said through our bond as he crossed the room to me. No. I'm the one who's sorry. I haven't forgotten that this is all happening because of me. Ist really, though? Is it really all happening because of you? Or is it because of me? Muraco waved his hand through the air. People do what they do. We're all responsible for our own actions. Now, we should go over what you're going to say tonight. Okay. I sat on the arm of the couch. I was going to talk about what it was like to transition. The change and overwhelming emotions of the wolf. And about Dastien and our bond. Dastien stood next to me, his hand in mine. You also might want to think up some counterarguments for anything Luciana could come up with, Mr. Dawson said. That seemed like a good idea. And I knew who I should call. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner. I blamed my procrastination. I'm going to head out. Sorry for interrupting. I headed out the door before anyone could stop me, but as soon as I stepped on the front stoop, Dastien had his hand on my arm. Where're you going? If I was going to gain the confidence I needed to get this speech done, it wasn't going to be in a room full of alphas. I needec to be somewhere that I felt safe. I'm going to go talk to my dad. He nodded. Want me to go with you? I always wanted him around, but for this, I just wanted to be home with my family. Seems like you're busy. Are you okay? No. Yes. He stepped closer to me. You're lying. I don't think I'll be okay until all of this is over. That was the truth. I wanted to get back to my life and not have to worry about defending it. Don't keep things from me, okay? I didn't— You sort of did. I waved off his protest. It's fine, but I need to know what I'm dealing with. I feel like I'm in the dark all the time and you're only giving me half the story. If I'd known all this last night, I might've made a different call. Whatever the consequences, I doubted I could've stopped the bonding ceremony if I'd known Dastien's life was at risk. I'm not keeping anything from you. Every time I brought it up, you changed the subject. He had a point. In his defense, he'd brought it up almost daily. Well, I'm ready now. So, no holding back. Even if I don't want to hear it. Promise? I promise. He pressed his lips to mine. Come back here when you're done. Where else would I go? Okay. Call me if you need me. Sure. He was looking at me so intently, I knew something was up. “Are you okay?" He stared up at the sky. I don’t want you to go. I laughed. I can tell. I yanked him down for a kiss that he quickly deepened, but I pulled away before I got too breathless. Il see you in a couple hours. Meet me for lunch? D'accord. When I looked back at him, he was watching me walk away. The expression on his face was one of love, but also longing. I knew exactly how he was feeling. 'd been planning on spending the day snuggling with him, and now I needed to prepare a defense. Definitely not as fun. Soon, he said. Can't wait. It was still hot outside, but I drove with the AC off and the windows down. My hair was tied back in a messy bun, but a few loose pieces of hair whipped against my face. There was no more time for quiet reflection. Even in the odd spare moments vd had alone in the dorms, I could hear the conversations in the rooms around me. The overwhelming lack of privacy had only gotten worse. And now if I concentrated, I could feel the pack. It was faint, but I'c borrowed energy from the wolves to help break Meredith's curse, and my awareness of the pack bonds had never fully disappeared since then. With the mate bond getting stronger every day, I felt like there was no room in my head for my own thoughts. After a lifetime of visions, I should've been used to it, but those few heavenly weeks of peace—before I realized what being in the pack and mated really meant—had spoiled me. Afew months ago—hell, a few days ago—I couldn't figure out why Dastien was with me. He had the pick of any girl. But now I knew. Being an alpha weighed on him more than anything else. Having me around kept him grounded. Helped him keep control. The more I found out about him, the more I realized that the two of us were a good match. Luck wasn't my thing, but I was starting to think that fate was. I saw the turnoff for my parents’ house and kept on going. I wasn't ready to end the drive yet. When I pulled up to the yellow house, I couldn't believe it'd been nearly an hour. My dad stepped onto the porch as I pulled up, and I turned down the music. My ears were ringing, but it was worth it. I felt a million times better. Music really did soothe my soul. You trying to kill your eardrums? I could hear you about a mile out. Eh. They'll heal. How about sparing the rest of us, then? Funny, Dad. I'm sure from a mile away, you're safe. That's what you'd think, but with your music... He hugged me, and I smelled his aftershave. He'd used the same one since I was a little girl. It was one of my favorite smells. How're you doing? I've been better. I pulled away from him. I wanted your legal advice. Plus, I figure your PR spin could help, too. He nodded. I heard there was a little trouble last night. This tribunal thing sounds not good. He put his arm around my shoulders. Let's go to the kitchen and we can talk about it. Four Diet Cokes, three bags of Cheetos, seven grilled cheeses, and one and a half packages of Oreos later, I had a solid plan. Dad had even given me notecards. We'd gone through them three times, and he'd drilled me on questions—even the hard stuff. I'd been uncomfortable with the role-playing at first. It'd been hard for me to answer his questions, but by the last time, I had my answers down. I was ready. The tribunal seemed slightly less scary. Isat on the kitchen island, kicking my feet. The cool marble felt good against my warm Were skin. I still wasn't used to being 50 hot all the time. It was something I wasn't sure I'd ever adjust to. You're pretty good at this stuff. Dad laughed. It's my job, kiddo. I stared at my feet. What if none of this works? Do your best. He leaned against the kitchen counter across from me. But don’t forget that no one can force you to do something you don’t want to do. I ate another Oreo. That's not true. Maybe before it wasn't true, but you're stronger than everyone else now. That's why they're making such a fuss over this. Don't be afraid to use that to your advantage if it comes to it. I didn't feel that strong. Sure, I was more in control than I used to be, but I didn't really know anything about my bruja side. And I was just starting to understand the Were part of me. I'd only shifted for the first time a few days ago. It wasn't like this was a home run. Iwas new. I felt new. I felt the opposite of empowered, but I needed to get there if I was going to win. So, how was I supposed to do that before tonight? I wasn't sure at all. It seemed like every time I took a step forward, I took five back. Eventually, maybe I'd get somewhere, bu it was a trudge. I didn’t want it to be a trudge. I wanted to own it. You're a smart girl, Teresa. You can do anything you put your mind to. I was fully committed to both staying alive and being with Dastien, but the rest...

X Tel It was going to take more than visualization to come out of the tribunal unscathed.