SWNOVELS Defiant Princess Chapter 11
FORD
A mixture of anger and fear fills Juliet's gaze, and I haven't even dropped the bomb yet.
It makes me wonder...
“How are you feeling?” I ask, second guessing if this is the right time to tell her what I learned at the brotherhood meeting is the woods. But if she’s already in a fiery frame of mind, maybe it should wait until morning.
“I'm fine,” she says, jerking her hand toward her wrist. “Didnt hurt at all"
“I meant with the shifting” I clarify. “Are you—"
“I'm fine," she snaps. “But you're not supposed to be here. If you're caught, you won't be able to get any more behind-the- scenes information.”
“And it sounds like we need it," Catherine says, coming to stand beside Juliet. “What's the bad news this time?”
I hesitate, but after another glance at Jules—who seems to be relatively calm, albeit irritated with me fill them in on the bombshell Beck was so excited about. And he has every reason to be. If the current trial situation is allowed to stand, very few Variants are going to be accepted to Lost Moon this year, and some of them might end up dead for trying.
“They can't do that,” Catherine says. “Coralie will see they've rigged the trials to favor wolves and put a stop to it. She has he faults, but she believes in fair play and has always been an advocate for Variants."
“Coralie isn't going to be back on campus in time," I say. “Beck's father is manufacturing a fake crisis that will keep her in Montreal, too distracted to realize what's going on until it's all over”
“What about Natalie?” Juliet begins to pace, the way she always does when tackling a problem. “Can we go to her for help?” “Probably not” Catherine says. “She's not on the trial board and they keep the details of the tests top secret until right before they start. The president is the only one briefed ahead of time.’
“What if we have proof things are rigged?” Juliet asks.
“What proof?” I challenge. “My word?”
Juliet shrugs. “Why not? She seems to like and trust you.”
“But she didn't have the pull to override Coralie’s orders to the doctor about your implant,” I remind her. “I doubt she'll have the sway to pull the plug on the board Beck's father bribed and start fresh. Especially not in thirteen days."
“He's right,” Catherine says. “If Beck's father has corrupted the trial board, the only person who could fix things in time is Coralie. And even she might face pushback. The board is packed with very important people.’
“Very greedy assholes is more like it," Juliet mutters, pacing faster. “And just when I was starting to think things weren't so bad around here. Most of the wolves and big cats I met at the luau seemed to have no issue with Variants."
“Which is why the bad guys are doing what they're doing” I say. “Fewer Variants in this year's class will automatically sway the population in favor of wolf rule. They're looking to decrease the number of dissenting voices by whatever means necessary.”
“Bastards.” Catherine sighs. “Well, on that note, I'm going to bed. I always do my best problem solving when I'm asleep. I'll talk to Alexander at breakfast and get his brain on the case, too. Surely, between all of us, we can come up with some way to even the playing field.”
“Sounds good,” I say, though I don’t have a lot of hope right now. Not unless they can figure out a way for the seventy percer of Variants with tiny animal forms to grow fives sizes in the next two weeks.
“You okay?” Catherine asks Juliet. “Do you need anything from me before I turn in?"
“I'm fine," Juliet says, even as she continues to pace like a woman possessed. “Or at least I'm still in control. If I start feeling any weirder, I'll put the locket on."
Catherine nods, glancing at me as she adds. “Okay. Call me if you need me. And don't stay out too late, Ford. Intrigue and foul play aside, you guys do have class tomorrow at eight. And those grades will count toward your final admission score. It not enough to outweigh a bad performance at the trials, but if you're on the line, an A instead of a B in history and campus culture could be a lifesaver.”
I thank her and wish her goodnight, waiting until she’s stepped through the door into the stairwell to turn back to Juliet.
V'm about to ask her what kind of “weird” feeling she’s talking about when she snaps, “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?" I ask, my brow furrowing. “Like 'm concerned for you and want you to be okay?"
She rolls her eyes and mutters something beneath her breath.
“What?” I ask, trying to catch her eye on her next pass in my direction. “What's up with you? 'm not the bad guy here, you know
“I know," she practically snarls.
I'snort and blink faster. “Wow. So far, 'm a big fan of the No Implant Juliet. Looks like we've got all the guardedness and crankiness of the original model, but now with more snarling.”
She spins to face me. “Does this seem like the time for jokes to you?"
“I wasn't joking I say. “I was hoping a little sarcasm might help you see what an a*****e you're being right now. I understanc that you're going through something, but—"
“No, you don't,” she says, storming up to me until her heaving chest is only inches from mine. “You have no f*****g idea wha ¥'m going through. I feel like my skin is about to catch fire.”
“Then put the locket on," I say, fear for her taking the edge off my anger. “You don't have to work through this stuff at one in the morning when you're exhausted. Get some rest and—"
“But that's not the worst of it,” she cuts in, making no move to take my advice. “The worst part is that I can feel all these... sensations. All these smells and sounds and vibrations in my bones that I never noticed before. It's like I've been blind and now suddenly I can see, but seeing isn't anything like what I thought it would be. It isn’t wonderful. It's confusing and annoying and makes me feel more helpless than I did before."
“Why?”
“Because I can't control it," she snaps back. “Any of it."
“Of course, you can't.” I lean down until my eyes are nearly level with hers. “Just like you couldn't walk the day you were bor Gaining control of shifter stuff takes practice and time. Give yourself a break, Juliet. And give me one, too. I'm on your side.” Her eyes begin to shine even as she continues to glare at me. “I can't do this, Ford. I can't deal with all of this right now.” “Then maybe your mom was right, and you should leave the implant in," I say, even as my stomach cramps in an anxious knot. “But the Juliet I know doesn't throw up her hands and give up just because something is harder than she expected it be!’
“It's not just harder, she whispers. “It's impossible.”
Ishake my head. “It's not. Is shifting for the first time as an adult going to be hard? Hell yes, it is. But the alternative—"
“It's not that,” she cuts in, her voice trembling.
“Then what is it?"
“I don't want to want someone because my DNA and their DNA is a perfect match or whatever,” she says, her breath still coming fast. “I don't want to want someone at all. But if I did, I'd want it to be because we were friends and cared about eacI other and had things in common.” She exhales with a roll of her eyes. “I'd want to be in love, okay? Even though I know that’; stupid and childish and not the kind of thing an outcast on a mission to take back her throne has time for."
“Juliet, I have no idea.."I trail off, my furrowed brow smoothing and hope sparking in my chest as I get what she’s saying.
At least, I think I do.
One way to find out for sure...
Istep closer. She trembles but doesn't step away. “So, what you're saying is that maybe the whole fated mate thing isn't bullshit, after all?"
Her glare intensifies. “Don't laugh at me.”
“I'm not laughing," I promise, risking another small shift forward, until my mouth hovers just an inch or two above hers. “Do look like I'm laughing?”
“I can't do this,” she says, even as her chin tips up. “I don't have room for this. In my brain or my life or any other part of me. I need to focus, Ford."
“Then focus, Juliet I say, brushing the side of my nose against hers, my pulse racing as her hands fist in my shirt. “'m not trying to stop you."
“But you are,” she whispers, sliding her hands up my chest to thread into my hair as her nose brushes mine on the other side. “I can feel your blood, your...hunger calling to mine and I hate it."
“Maybe you only hate it because you're fighting it so damned hard," I say, wrapping my arm loosely around her waist, ready to pull back if she snarls at me again.
But she doesn't; she arches closer, moaning as her hips brush against where I'm hard for her. Again. I've been hard for her with disturbing frequency since our make out session this morning, proof that I could use something to take the edge off, too.
“So, why don't we stop fighting it?” I bring my lips to her forehead and press a kiss to her feverish skin. “Let me help you tak the edge off, Growly. I bet we'll both sleep easier tonight and be thinking straighter come morning”
“If we did, it wouldn't mean anything” she says, rubbing against my c**k in a way that makes it very hard to pay attention to what she's saying. “It wouldn't mean that I want anything short-term, let alone long-term. I haven't changed my mind, Ford. This doesn't end with us together. Not in any possible version of the future.”
“Then there's no harm in having a little fun, right?” I tangle my fingers in her dress, drawing it higher on her thighs as I gathe more of it into my fist.
“This doesn’t feel like fun,” she says, her breath hot on my cheek. “It feels like.."
“Like what?" I slip my free hand between her thighs, groaning as my fingers brush the soaked crotch of her panties.
“Like dying,” she gasps, arching closer to my touch. “And being happy about it. God, Ford, please touch me.”
“There's nothing I'd rather do,” I rumble against her lips as I kiss her, hard and deep. And then my hand is down the front of
her panties, sliding through her slick, swollen folds to push inside her, and I'm in heaven.
Juliet's p***y, wet and hot for me as she clings to my shoulders and begs me never to stop, is heaven. There's only one thing that could make it better, but I'm not going to let my head go there.
If I take her virginity tonight, when she’s vulnerable and overwhelmed with new feelings, she'll resent me for it later. No, tonight, I'll show her what I can do with my hands, prove to her that her pleasure is my pleasure, and wait for the right moment for more.
Now that I know she feels the same pull I do, I'm confident that the right moment will come. She can fight it all she wants, but her body knows I'm hers, just like I know she’s the only woman I'm ever going to want like this—body and soul.