all god's orphans

Raymond and Sarah sat in their RV watching the front of the grocery store. Nothing had happened in a long time and Sarah wasn’t exactly sure what they were doing. Her father didn’t seem to want to explain himself lately. He just told her what they were going to do and she listened. Those voices on the radio had freaked him out and it was freaking her out. He kept saying he had a plan, but that he no longer knew if it even mattered. He spoke in short bursts and incomplete sentences. After everything he’d been through, Sarah could understand him going a bit off the rails, but this was getting to be too much. She needed her dad to come back down to earth. She needed someone to help her get through this. Instead, she was helping him.

They were going to have to go on a trip, he told her. They were going to need supplies. He’d driven to this grocery store and parked so they could see the entrance, but then he’d just sat there. Every time she tried to ask what they were doing, he’d just ‘shush’ her. After a while, she gave up trying. So now she was just sitting there in an empty parking lot looking at the front of a Wal-Mart. Raymond sat beside her, staring way too intensely and absent-mindedly rubbing his thumb back and forth along his chin. He did this whenever he was thinking, but she had never seen him do it for a solid two hours before. She started to wonder if he was going to rub a hole in his skin. His AR-15 sat in his lap and he never seemed to take his hand off of it. Finally he spoke.

“Okay. It seems safe.” He declared. “You ready?” Sarah was stunned.

“No.” She said flatly. “You haven’t told me what we’re doing.”

“I said we have to go on a trip.”

“What does that even mean?”

“That we need supplies. You ready?” Sarah sighed.

“I guess.” She had no idea what her father was doing, but she didn’t feel like pressing him on it. She decided she would just follow him and do what he said. That was easier. He opened the door and slid out, moving towards the entrance with his weapon aimed straight ahead of him. Sarah followed and raised her gun to her shoulder, but it was only to make her dad happy. She didn’t want to shoot anyone and she hoped the place would be empty.

The sliding glass doors were shut but could be forced aside with enough strength. Raymond pulled them apart and they slipped inside. The lights were off but the skylights in the ceiling let in enough of the daylight that it didn’t matter. For a moment, Raymond motioned for Sarah to stay put. They listened for any sound of intruders, but it was dead quiet. Raymond made his way across the front of the store checking each of the aisles. All together, the place was more than four hundred feet wide and it took him some time to go all the way down and come back.

As Sarah watched him, she thought back to all the times they had gone to Wal-Mart. She was seeing it in a new light now. All this bullshit that had so concerned her before was losing its appeal. She didn’t care about the clothes. Didn’t care about the TV’s. She still wanted her own house and her own furniture, but even that was starting to seem like a stupid dream. Her father finally returned from the other side of the store.

“It’s clear.” He informed her. “Grab a cart and let’s get started.” This place had been left relatively intact, she noted. A lot of places had been looted, but this one was so far out of the way that nobody had really bothered with it. She followed her father with the cart as he placed various item into it. A map. A car battery. Shotguns. Ammo. Sleeping bags. A compass. She had no idea what all this was for and didn’t want to ask.

When he was satisfied that they were properly provisioned, he turned back to the front of the store.

“Okay, let’s go.” He said. Sarah stopped.

“Dad.” She gestured to the cart full of survival gear. “Shouldn’t we get some food?” Raymond glanced down at all the things he had thought were critical to his daughter’s survival and realized with some embarrassment that he had not thought to go food shopping.

“Yeah.” He finally admitted. “Good idea.” As they made their way through the aisles of food, she was surprised to find that there wasn’t nearly as much as there usually was. Every other time they’d needed food, she picked whatever she wanted. Now, however, the shelves looked bare like when a hurricane or winter storm rolls in and people realize just how unprepared they are for it.

They rolled two full carts out to the RV and Raymond loaded it down as Sarah stood guard. They still hadn’t seen anyone and she was starting to wonder if her dad was going to be all right. He just didn’t seem to be able to focus. When he was done, he pushed the carts across the parking lot and she watched as they just kept rolling.

“Let’s go.” He ordered. She shut the side door and opened the passenger door.

“Where are we going?” She asked without getting in.

“We gotta move.” Sarah stayed put.

“Where are we going?” She asked with a little more edge than she had ever used on her father. Raymond could see she was digging in.

“We’re going to Kansas.” He finally told her. Sarah was confused. They didn’t know anyone in Kansas and as far as she knew, her father had only been through it as a truck driver.

“What’s in Kansas?” Raymond started up the RV but Sarah still wasn’t getting in.

“Safety.” He told her. “Our future.” Sarah hesitated for a moment and then climbed into her seat. Raymond put the RV in gear and guided it back to the highway. The sun was going to set soon and he wanted to put some miles behind him.