Alive At Night (Wildflower Series Book 1)

“I’M NERVOUS.”

At my words, Julian instantly spun in his desk chair. When he saw me standing at the door to our office, a slow smile spread over his face. Such a one-eighty from a year and a half ago when I first showed my face to Julian outside our office.

Usually, I would welcome his smile. But right now, it was annoying me. He had heard me, hadn’t he?

“Did you hear me? I said I was ner-vous.”

I pronounced my words extra clearly for him this time.

Julian still ignored them, sweeping his eyes over my black dress and the blazer I had in my hand, ready to go for court. I’d paired it with an impressive pair of heels, and after fussing over my hair this morning for over half an hour, I gave up and let Julian curl it. It fell in loose waves around my shoulders.

Why was he looking at me like that? His eyes were taking me in like it was the first time he’d seen me in years…when in reality, we got ready for work and walked into the office together.

“I heard you,” he acknowledged. “You’re just very pretty. And I can’t wait to see you walk out onto the courtroom floor looking like the pretty badass you are. I know you’re nervous, but you’re going to do amazing.”

I sagged against the doorframe, exhausted even though the day had only begun. “Honestly…where does your confidence come from?”

“My confidence in you?” He grinned wider. “It comes from knowing you for over half my life. And from working with you for over the past year. You’re very good at your job.”

I sighed, all my annoyance in him washing away. It was odd when he did this—this role reversal. There he was, acting all perky as he gathered his things up on his desk, packing them into his briefcase while I brooded in the doorway, trying to shake the rest of my nerves.

I had confidence in myself, but this was the first case I had taken over at Gardner Law. It was a big deal. When Julian told me how Grayson had decided not to pursue the malpractice case, I understood. We both did. Taking any kind of legal action was time-consuming and energy-sucking, but it would be even more extreme for the Elez-Everetts on account of their high profile. Plus, they had spent so much of last year worrying about Gracie and if she would also have the same congenital heart defect.

Thankfully, Gracie Everett was a healthy baby girl, and Gabriel Everett was a healthy big brother who cared greatly for his little sister. But regardless of their happy outcome, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we had unfinished business. So when Grayson told us that he knew of another family experiencing negligence at the same clinic where Gabe had been born, I told him to have them reach out to me.

They did, and now, today was the day we would finish settling this in court.

Julian wanted me to have the case. It was unrealistic for us to work it together instead of with Daphne or one of the other partners, and Julian encouraged me to go ahead with it without him. I wanted very badly to win this case. It had been a long process, and we were very close to the end. And if all went to plan, there would be a verdict by nightfall.

And then Julian had a surprise for me.

“This is the best day ever,” he said, grabbing my coat and holding it out for me to slip into.

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do,” he said, still giddy and confident. “I get to watch my girlfriend kick ass in court, and then I get to celebrate with her all weekend. Just her.”

“But what if we don’t pull it off today? Won’t it ruin the weekend?”

Julian shook his head and started buttoning my coat for me. He’d kept his promise to take care of me, and I had to admit it felt nice. The case consumed my brain, making all the other little things feel like big things. Julian seemed to know; he took care of all of them before I could even ask.

“Nothing could ruin this weekend,” he said, again showing off his confidence.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

God, he was annoying.

But I was also so deeply in love with him.

I could feel Julian’s bright eyes on me while I delivered the closing arguments to the courtroom. And when I finished, I caught his beaming expression from across the gallery. And after the jury deliberated and announced the verdict, he was the first person by my side.

We won. We did it. We got justice for Gabriel and Jude, the other little boy affected by the clinic’s medical malpractice. It felt liberating and settling.

Julian didn’t say much when we were still at the courthouse. I could tell he wanted to, but he was playing the role of supportive colleague—not boyfriend. It took us a few months to navigate that, to figure out how to work together while being so utterly obsessed with each other, but we’d finally found a balance.

Julian was a professional through and through.

But as soon as we were alone…

“Fuck, I’m so turned on.”

Julian rammed his head back against his seat as he got behind the wheel. He didn’t move to turn on the car, didn’t check his rearview mirrors for pedestrians crossing the street, didn’t do anything but squeeze his eyes shut.

“I’m regretting my life decisions,” he mumbled before I could ask him what he was doing—besides trying to rein in his obvious arousal.

“Why’s that?” I beamed; I couldn’t help it. I loved toying with Julian, and I loved that we’d won the case. It was just too much goodness all at once.

Julian opened his eyes again. They darted to me, dark and wanting. “I have to wait three hours before I can fuck you in that hot little dress you just strutted around the courtroom in.”

“Why that long?”

“Because that’s how long it will take to get to your surprise.”

“I think this will be good for you,” I said with a smirk. Although secretly, I wished we were going home before heading straight out of town. Because I didn’t exactly want to wait, either. Julian looked too damn good in that suit.

“Good for me?” he scoffed.

“I miss watching you work for it a little bit, you know?” I crossed one leg over the other leisurely, making sure a bit of skin was showing. “I make it far too easy for you to get what you want.”

Julian’s eyes narrowed as they flicked over me. “That’s because you want the same fucking thing, Juniper.”

Julian’s voice was low, a warning I couldn’t help but be intrigued by. Maybe it was the adrenaline of winning the case, but power drugged my veins. I could easily get swept away in it.

When I didn’t say anything in response, Julian cocked a brow.

“You’re fucking drenched between those beautiful thighs.” His throat worked as he swallowed. “You know it, and I know it.”

“Maybe I am.” I shrugged. “Maybe I’m not.”

“Oh, Juni,” he murmured, and the sudden amusement in his voice felt like velvet on my senses. “You’re good. But I’m better.”

“What is that supposed—”

Julian interrupted my question by pressing Play on his phone, and the sensual voice of one of my favorite fictional characters began filtering through the car speakers.

“The glow of the fire illuminated her expression as she spread out for me on the blanket, letting me see every inch of her naked body. The winter wind howled outside the chalet, but I barely heard it. All I could hear was the rush of blood in my ears as I bent down and—”

I snatched the dial and twisted the volume down, feeling my cheeks flush.

“What?” Julian peeked over while maneuvering out of our parking spot with only one hand. “The memories too much for you to handle?”

Goddamn him.

The heat dispersed throughout my body as I thought about that day in the office when Julian had placed my headphones on my ears and bent me over his desk.

This was the scene. It was the scene that I’d listened to while getting absolutely railed in our office in the middle of the workday.

I sank lower in the seat of the car, crossing my legs. Tightly.

“Point taken, Julian.” My voice was scratchy, parched. “You can turn it off now.”

“Oh, I’m not turning it off.”

Julian didn’t take his eyes off the road as he merged onto a highway going north. I wasn’t sure where he was taking me, but I knew it wasn’t in the city, based on what he suggested I pack for the weekend.

True to his word, Julian did not turn off the audiobook. No. He reached out and turned the volume back up. “It’s really a shame I didn’t start giving you books earlier,” he said over the dialogue. “Think of all the inspiration I missed out on.”

“Inspiration?” I questioned. “How so?”

The bit of mischief I’d recognized bloomed into something much more obvious.

“You’ll see.”

Julian stopped replying to my questions after that. Every time I tried to talk, he jokingly shushed me so that he could hear the audiobook better. And because it was the final act of the book, it was filled with dirty, hot sex of the couple who had held out for the first two-thirds of the story.

I was a clammy mess by the time Julian pulled into the driveway of a gleaming timber-frame lodge. Somewhere along the way, we’d passed over the state line into Vermont, and now I was gaping at snowy paradise. Dusted evergreen trees framed the chalet, and I stared at it with wonder.

“That’s beautiful,” I breathed.

“That’s where we’re staying,” Julian replied. “Seem familiar?”

I shook my head with a frown. “I’ve never been to this part of Vermont before—”

Something about how Julian was smiling at me made me pause. And then I backtracked. Vermont. A snow-covered lodge. A weekend getaway. And what I could only assume was a fireplace inside…

“Is this…?” I broke off with a gasp, pointing at his car display, where it showed the audiobook on pause. “Are you recreating the scene? From the book? From this book?”

Julian’s lips broadened, his smile dazzling at this point. “One time, you told me that if I loved you, I wouldn’t make you pick between me and your books. And I do love you. I love you a lot. So I wanted to make sure you knew that you could have both. You can have it all. But I will say…I put my own twist on the scene.”

Julian’s smile faded slightly as his eyes wandered my face. His amusement dipped into something more simmering, hiding just behind the surface, threatening to bubble over. And fuck, it made my whole body tremble. I knew that look.

“What’s your twist?” I prompted unsteadily when he didn’t say anything.

His lips twitched as he continued to look at me, memorizing my face. He didn’t answer for a long time, but when he did, his voice was thick with emotion and need.

He held out a single house key. “Why don’t you go find out, love.”

My heart skipped a beat at the words, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. They felt monumental, but I didn’t care to consider the reason. Instead, I took the key and stepped out of the car on shaky feet, wrapping my coat around me as I made my way up the sidewalk. I heard Julian get out of the car, too. He followed slowly, meandering like he wanted to watch the scene from afar.

I fumbled with the lock before pushing the door open to…

Flowers.

Bouquets and bouquets of flowers filled a cozy living room with tall, expansive windows and even taller ceilings. My eyes caught on the stone fireplace, but only for a second because I was too overwhelmed with the…flowers. White flowers. Lilies. Roses. Daisies.

Lilies. Roses. Daisies.

“Lily.”

Julian’s voice scraped my soul. I twisted, looking over my shoulder to see Julian reading from a paper pad. A notebook of sorts.

He closed the front door behind him and stepped forward, his eyes still trained on the paper between his hands.

“Rosie.”

Another slow step.

“Poppy. Iris. Ivy. Violet. Holly. Willow. Olive. Magnolia. Dahlia. Hazel.”

For every word he had said, Julian took a step. Which led him straight to me, and only when he was within reach did he look up and whisper, “Daisy baby.”

His arm dropped, the pad of paper forgotten onto the floor. I stared at him, not sure what was happening but knowing I didn’t want to miss a second of it. He brushed my coat off my shoulders, leaving me in only my black dress again. His eyes raked over it while my jacket fell to the floor beside his notebook with an echoing thud.

“Julian,” I breathed, wishing I had a million names to rattle off in return but knowing I only needed to say his once for him to understand everything I was feeling. “There was a list?”

His smile was gentle as he lifted a hand to my face. “There was a list. I told you.”

I thought it was a joke, something we just teased. But before I could clarify, Julian went on.

“I grew up in a big family, baby.” He put his other hand to my face, cupping it. “I should have been good at sharing, but the one thing I hated sharing was you. Even with my siblings, my parents. I hated that since you showed up on my doorstep and became theirs…that you could never become mine. Everyone called you Juni, but I didn’t want the Juniper that everyone else had.”

My lips parted as shock ran through my system. For over a year, Julian had reinforced how much he loved me. But these words…these words were new.

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “See, I told you I’m selfish,” he said.

“You’ve never been selfish, Julian,” I choked out. “Never. Not one day in your whole life.”

Julian smiled softly, smoothing my hair behind my ear before returning to cup my face. “The first time I called you Rosie, it was Christmas,” he went on. “You had just come inside from the snow, and your cheeks were flushed. You thought I was making fun of you, and I realized I had to return to the drawing board.”

He looked pointedly at the notebook on the floor.

“So I kept trying new nicknames that reminded me of you, hoping one would be perfect. For just us. So at least I could have one thing that was mine. But…I realized you were more than just a single flower, a single name.” Julian’s fingers traced my jaw to my chin, tipping it up until I was staring into his sharp gaze. “You were a whole goddamn bouquet, baby.”

“My nicknames do belong to you, Julian. But so does my heart. And a whole lot more.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” he said, grin growing. “Because I was wondering if I could add another name to the list. One that means…a whole lot more.”

Julian’s grip slid down my sides until he had my hands in both of his. He held my fingers tightly as he dropped to the ground. Onto one knee.

“How does Mrs. Briggs sound?” he asked, eyes shining as he looked up at me like I was the only star in the sky. My hands shook in his, and he gripped them harder, refusing to let go. “Should I add it to my notebook?”

A disbelieving laugh broke through my lips. “But it isn’t a plant.”

“Yeah…” Julian winced, but there was humor in it. His eyes twinkled. “I was hoping you’d make an exception. Just this once.”

“You were, huh?”

“Yeah, I was.” Julian let go of one of my hands to reach into his pocket, producing a small velvet box. He popped it open, and I felt my knees buckle. “I even brought this ring along for the occasion.”

My lips parted with a silent scream, and I slapped a hand over my mouth. A larger-than-life diamond sparkled up at me, but that wasn’t what blurred my vision. Tears welled in my lash line, threatening to fall.

But then Julian kept talking, and there was no holding them back.

“I love you, Juniper,” he whispered. Simple words that I had heard so many times before at this point. But they carried the weight of my heart. “I’m in love with you, and I know I can’t live without you. I tried. I tried, and I was miserable. You aren’t just the love of my life. You’re the joy of it. You’re my everything. And I’m hoping you’ll let me marry you.”

I blinked through the tears, trying to find my voice. “You want to marry me, huh?”

I couldn’t seem to figure out how to do anything but repeat him.

“Desperately.” Julian nodded. Aggressively nodded. “Can I?”

There was a time, back in high school, when I had made it my mission to always have a comeback for the words Julian Briggs said. But I never imagined, not in my wildest dreams, that I would have to come up with an answer for this. And even though the answer was obvious, all I could do was smile down at him, my lips stretched so wide they hurt.

“If you need the proof, it’s right there,” he teased, nodding to the ring in his hand. He was waiting…eagerly waiting for me to answer so he could slide it onto my hand.

“No.” I shook my head, and Julian’s eyes grew wide. “No, that’s not the proof,” I amended with a ridiculous, giddy laugh. “The proof isn’t the ring. It’s you, Julian. It’s you and everything you’ve done for me. It’s you and everything you are to me. I love you. And I very, very much want to add Mrs. Briggs to the list.”

Julian tugged on my hand at that, and I came crashing down into his arms. Laughter continued to spill out of me, the happiest of sounds. Julian’s lips found mine, and then he breathed against them.

“Say the word.” His forehead tipped into mine, pressing us together. “Please.”

“Yes.” I brushed the word he wanted to hear over his lips. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, ye—”

Julian caught the last yes with his mouth, absorbing it with a soul-searching kiss. The way he kissed consumed me, and I almost cried out in protest when his lips eventually left mine. But then I realized it was only because he wanted to slip my new ring onto my finger. It distracted me, dazzling there, and when I looked up again, I realized Julian had left my side and was weaving through the forest of flowers. He stopped before the fireplace, slipping off his suit jacket and beginning to roll up his sleeves.

I stared, unashamed of how ridiculously attracted I was to him. I always had been, and now he was mine. Really, really mine.

This man. He loved so fiercely. I’d always known that, but to now be the center of that love was unbelievable. I admired him endlessly for the person he was, for the selflessness in his heart, and for how much he cared for others. I couldn’t wait to return that care for the rest of our lives. He deserved more than anyone to be taken care of in just the way that he took care of everyone else.

Once his forearms were bare, Julian went to work making a fire. And unsurprisingly, it didn’t take him long. Although, I wouldn’t have even minded waiting. Despite being eager to have his lips and body back on mine, the moment couldn’t have been more perfect. I liked watching him work. Even though he sat behind a desk most days, he was still someone who worked well with his hands. And who looked good while doing it.

“Come here.”

Julian’s soft voice called to me, and I crossed the room to crash back into his arms. Julian caught me, and then we crumpled back to the floor—as though the weight of our desire was simply too much to stay standing. Soft, plush carpeting cushioned my body as Julian’s deliciously hard figure covered me from above. His lips found mine again, and then I was lost.

I wasn’t sure if I had ever felt the frantic need that I did right now. It could have been the long ride here or the proposal or just the fact that my fiancé was fucking hot as he shed his clothes and then mine, but I was dying. And Julian was loving it. My hips rocked up, begging for him.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he breathed as he positioned himself over me again. His words were soft, but his touch was demanding as he encouraged my legs to wrap around his waist before driving into me with a single thrust.

“Yes.”

Nothing had ever felt better than this. Nothing had ever been better than Julian and me together.

“Say it again,” Julian demanded, his voice strained as he pulled out and rocked into me again.

“Yes,” I groaned, tightening my legs around him. Closer. I needed us even closer.

Julian reached for my hand—the one with the ring—and threaded our fingers together. His thumb brushed over the delicate jewelry before he anchored our hands above my head and continued fucking me with rough thrusts.

I gasped, unsure if I could manage much longer. He was destroying me—every movement was unraveling me from the inside out.

“Oh my God, Julian.” I tipped my hips, meeting him thrust for thrust. “I—I can’t.”

“Take it, Juniper,” he demanded, his voice low and gravelly in my ear. “Be my good, gorgeous girl and take it.”

My release didn’t just wash over me at his words; it broke like a dam, flooding every sense and nerve ending. I held on tight to Julian while it overpowered me, and he didn’t dare let go. Crying my name, he followed me, and pleasure dragged both of us under until we were a sweaty mess on the floor.

We didn’t talk.

The fire crackled, and our heavy breaths mingled, but we didn’t talk. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to talk, honestly.

Julian eventually shifted so he wasn’t crushing me. Although, the weight felt soothing in a way. He gently stripped the rest of my clothes from my body, and then I did the same to him. Somewhere amidst the forest of flowers, he found a pile of blankets and used them to create a soft cocoon in front of the fire, where we curled up together.

“This is better,” I said definitively once I was nestled into Julian’s arms.

“Hm?” He shifted closer before brushing his lips over my temple.

“This is better,” I repeated. “I know I said I couldn’t pick between you and my books, but that was a lie. This is better. You are better.”

Julian chuckled. “I knew I could get you to admit it if I just gave you a side-by-side opportunity to compare.”

“I’m so happy,” I mumbled, feeling my eyelids droop.

Julian was right: this was the best day ever.

“Tired, love?” Julian’s fingers began sifting through my hair.

I nodded absently, feeling drugged by the moment.

“It’s not even that late,” he teased. “What happened to my little night owl?”

Twisting in Julian’s arms, I found his blue gaze, which burned bright in the reflection of the fire. “I used to stay up late because the freedom of nights made me think they were the best part of living.”

“But now?” Julian prompted, seeming eager for the rest of my words.

“But now I get to wake up next to you. And I know the things that happen at night will still feel real in the morning. I’m not afraid of that anymore.”

“That ring will still be on your finger when you wake up,” Julian murmured, noting where my attention was. “I will still be here. And you will still be my fiancée.”

I tucked my hand back into my chest, cherishing the thought.

“Then I can’t wait.”