SWNOVELS Alexius: Chapter 8
Three days ago, I walked into the Del Rossa mansion like a trapped soul searching for freedom. The day after, I spent with Mirabella, who ushered wedding dress designers in and out of my room.
Yesterday, I was introduced to Alexius’ parents and brothers as his fiancée. I endured their questioning stares and knowing looks while I pretended not to be a stranger, like this was my world.
Today, I’m wearing a wedding dress worth more money than I could ever dream of making as a waitress.
“Leandra,” Mirabella gasps. “You look exquisite. My God. I knew you’d make a beautiful bride, but…wow.” Her heels click across the wooden floors as her dusty-rose dress drapes her slender form with delicate layers of chiffon fanning around her legs, the deep V halter neckline formed with bold straps accentuating her full breasts. During the last few days, Mirabella has been my angel, motivating me, assuring me, and giving me advice on how to act around the Del Rossa family. Learning that she’s not blood-related to them was a bit of a shock, but clearly, she loves them as if they were. It’s easy to see that everyone in this household adores her. I’ve only known her for a few days, and I already feel more at ease with her than I have with anyone my entire life. Mirabella carries herself with grace, draped in elegance, and her flawless beauty shines with kindness. If not for her, I probably would have left an hour after I arrived.
I turn to look in the full-length mirror, my reflection mocking me with the knowledge that none of this is real. The French corded Alençon lace is exquisite, the low neckline flowing up and into the long sleeves. The Italian silk of the skirt underneath the lace is soft, gentle against my legs, and I love that the dress isn’t stark white but rather soft champagne that blends with my tanned skin. And I don’t think my hair has ever looked this shiny and perfect in a delicate twisted bun settled at the base of my neck. But none of it sets me at ease. The person staring back at me in the mirror is a stranger to me, and I shift from one leg to the other, wiggling my toes in the Jimmy Choo heels.
I brush my palm down the front of my dress as Mira places her hands on my shoulders, smiling warmly. “I knew this Monique Lhuillier design would look perfect on you.”
“I don’t know. It all just seems too much. Everyone knows none of this is real, so I don’t understand why all this is necessary.”
“Do I need to remind you who you are getting married to?” She picks up the dainty ivory and pale gold tiara with pearls and the subtle sparkle of diamonds. “You are marrying Alexius Del Rossa, heir to all this.” She waves her hand around while holding the tiara. “Soon, he will be one of the most powerful men in America, probably the entire goddamn world. His wedding can’t be anything less than extravagant and over the fucking top.” She shrugs. “Regardless of the circumstances.”
After easing the tiara on my head, gently slipping it through my hair, she takes a step back, and I turn to face her. “Why me? Why would he choose me? I can’t wrap my head around it.”
“No one knows why Alexius does what he does half the time.”
“He could have any woman he wants.”
“This isn’t about what Alexius wants. It’s about what he’s been told to do.” Mira sits on the king-sized bed, the sheets creasing around her. “I’ve known these guys all my life, grew up with them, and Alexius is quite the mindfuck,” she lifts a shoulder, “as is his twin brother.”
“Nicoli?”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “Nicoli.”
She stares out in front of her, her soft green eyes reflecting a longing that’s impossible not to notice. I want to ask her about it, but the way she pulls her shoulders into herself tells me I shouldn’t. Whatever she’s struggling with is her own, and I can’t help but feel she’s not ready to share it with anyone. Besides, I’m nothing but a stranger playing pretend in the lives of everyone here.
“Okay.” She claps her hands together and gets up. “You ready?”
“No.”
She chuckles. “You’ll do great.”
“I don’t know about that. But at least it’s just a small ceremony to get through.”
“Um.” Mira takes a step back, touching her chin with her forefinger. “So…have you spoken to Alexius about the wedding? At all?”
I shake my head. “I’ve only seen him twice since I arrived here. At breakfast, the morning after, and yesterday when he introduced me to his parents.”
“He hasn’t communicated with you regarding the wedding arrangements at all?”
“No. None at all. I get the distinct feeling he’s purposely avoiding me.”
“Well, shit.”
My stomach curdles. “What is it?”
“That small ceremony you’re thinking we’re having…well, it’s not so small.”
I narrow my eyes. “What are you saying?”
She scrunches her nose like she’s about to tell me something that may or may not pull the rug from under me. Hard. “So, as I mentioned before, you are marrying Alexius.”
“Mirabella, what is it?”
“It’s a big wedding,” she spits out. “A really, really big…wedding.”
“How big? Exactly?”
“Let me show you.” She grabs my wrist, and we walk out of the bedroom into the hall before pulling me up to the large window that looks out over the garden. “That big.”
A breath catches in my throat. “What is this?” I put a palm over my stomach, suddenly feeling sick. Beneath the sunny autumn sky are rows and rows of sitting guests dressed in their finest—people I don’t even know. Hundreds of them.
I try to swallow but can’t, bile burning like acid in the back of my throat. “Oh, God,” I mutter, too shocked to find any other words to say.
“Are you okay?” Mira whispers, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“No. I’m not.”
“Listen to me.” She forces me to turn and face her, clutching both my shoulders. “You’ll be okay.”
“No. No, I won’t.” My breath catches in my throat and my lungs panic for air. “I can’t…Jesus, I can’t do this.”
“Leandra, stop.”
I take a step back, my feet heavy and legs numb. “What the hell was I thinking?”
“Leandra—”
“This is insane. I’m insane.” Another step back. “I can’t marry him.” Fear fills my gut with concrete, the silk of my dress skirt scratching like sand against my skin.
“Just stop. Listen to me.” She inches closer, but I move farther away, locking my gaze on her worried frown, tears stinging my eyes.
“All those people. A priest.” There’s no oxygen in my lungs, the need for air squeezing my throat.
“I don’t know what you and Alexius agreed on or discussed regarding this marriage.” Mira steps up. “But if you plan on being his wife, I suggest you get used to this because this is what your life will be like with him. Your quaint little life is over. Your days of trying not to get noticed are over. Everyone in this entire goddamn city will look at you and recognize you for who you are. Alexius Del Rossa’s wife.” She inches back a little. “If you can’t get through this wedding, I promise that you won’t get through this marriage.”
“You’re right,” I whisper, the realization of the mistake I made settling in the pit of my stomach. “I won’t survive it…which is why I’m not doing it.”
“Mirabella.” Alexius’ voice slams against my chest, the icy tentacles of fear wrapping around my throat. “Please give Leandra and me some privacy.”
The dread threatening to snap my spine in half makes it impossible for me to turn and face him—to look into the eyes of the monster.
Mira shoots me a sympathetic look before walking away, and I have to stop myself from begging her not to leave me alone with him. He’s standing a few feet away, yet I can feel him breathe flames down my neck.
“Care to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
I bite back my tears. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You no longer have a choice.”
“Of course I do. We’re not married yet.” Finally, I grab hold of the courage to turn and face him, but I’m not prepared, and the sight of him takes my breath away.
Luminous blue eyes are brighter than I remember, like a billion sparkles or a thousand fallen stars. His black tuxedo matches his hair color, his shoulders broad and strong, draped in sovereignty only extreme power can achieve. For a second, I acknowledge the attraction that pulls me closer, but the darkness behind his irises is palpable, and strong enough to remind me how dangerous he truly is.
With a single step toward me, his presence thickens the air between us, and I feel malice coat my skin. “The moment you agreed, you gave up your freedom to change your mind.”
“Excuse me?”
This time he moves so fast, I blink, and he stills mere inches from me, my hands reaching behind my back and touching the cold windowsill. “You are bound to your word, Miss Dinali.”
“Last time I checked, in this world, one is bound with a signature in black and white.”
“You are in my world now!” His voice rumbles and crashes against the ceiling, his eyes flashing with red flames. “Here in my world, your word is your bond. It’s your fucking blood that seals your fate.”
I can hardly find my voice, my hands trembling behind my back. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying—” he lifts a hand and touches my chin, causing me to shudder “—that if you leave now, I will see it as a personal betrayal if you do not keep to our agreement. Do you know what I do to traitors?”
Beneath the fear, adrenaline surges, and I straighten my shoulders as much as the small distance between us allows. “It’s funny,” I challenge. “You told me you know everything about me.”
“I do.”
“Then why do you think threatening me will keep me in check? If you know me, you’ll be aware of the fact that I have nothing. I have no life, which makes me reluctant to care whether I fucking lose it or not.”
A hint of a smile curls at the corner of his lips, his finger gently stroking up my jaw, my skin oversensitive and soaking up his touch. Even with the fear boiling in my veins, I can’t ignore this unwelcome pull toward him that threatens my resolve not to submit.
“That’s where you have it wrong,” he rasps so close to my cheek my pores soak up the venom in his voice. “You have something worth more than your life you could lose.”
“And what’s that?”
His gaze bores into mine. “Hope.”
I recoil and sink back.
“For the last three days, you’ve been living in a world where you have hope for a better life, something you didn’t have when you walked through my front door.”
Ice pummels into me, my blood running cold as I witness his hardened expression darkening with victory’s sharp edges. “Break our bargain, walk out that door, and I will take something from you worth more than your last breath.” He leans closer, breathing up the side of my neck. “I. Will fucking. Destroy you.”
Every word is venom daggered into my gut, and I’m paralyzed with toxic terror that flows through my veins. Tears sting my eyes, my top lip quivering while he keeps my gaze hostage.
“Here’s an invaluable lesson for you as my future wife—and you will be my wife.” His top lip curls. “Your word is sealed with your blood. Fuck with me by breaking your word, and I will take what I’m owed—” he drags his nose along my ear, inhaling deeply “—one drop of blood…at a time.”
I suck in air and close my eyes as he steps back. I can feel him linger, his threat and presence a virulent fusion of wicked power that leaves me a tattered mess against the windowsill. It’s impossible not to cry, and the salty liquid laps down my lips when I hear his heavy footsteps lighten as the distance between us grows. Now that I’m alone with the fear he left behind, I place my palm in front of my mouth and cry. The sound of regret resonates from every sob, and I hate my desperation for a better life that brought me to this moment in the first place.
Glancing out the window at the rows of sitting guests, I wipe the tears from my cheeks, feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about going down there and saying vows before God. Promising my life to a man who just threatened to destroy me is nauseating.
“Are you okay?” Mira walks up behind me, and I shake my head.
“He’s a monster.” I clench my jaw, still looking down at the smiling and talking guests.
“They all are.” Mira leans her head on my shoulder. “Men are monsters. Question is, would you rather live in a world where the monster is your enemy…or where the man is your husband?”
Alexius walks down the aisle with his brothers, making his way to the priest who has taken his place, ready to bless a union as fake as Alexius’ smile greeting the guests. I hate that he intimidates me so. That he has the power to scare me, forcing the air from my lungs.
God. I hate him. I hate the decision I made. But that’s the thing about every decision you make. No matter how good the gains or benefits are, there are always consequences you need to live with…just like my mother did every time she shot poison up her veins.
Alexius is my poison.
“Six months,” I murmur. It’s no longer something I have to do if I want a better life. Instead, it’s something I have to do if I want to survive him.
“Leandra.” Mira takes my hand and squeezes it gently. “I know how cruel he can be. All of them. But whatever you do,” she touches my chin and makes me turn to face her, “don’t ever show weakness. Ever. They thrive on it, and they will eat you alive if they see the tiniest sliver of it.”
“They?” I frown.
“They are brothers, Leandra. The same blood flows in their veins…as does the same cruelty.”
“But you love them like brothers.” How can one love cruel people?
“They have always taken care of me. Kept me safe. So, I do love them as brothers…all but one.” The sadness in her eyes mirrors my own, and I lean my head to the side.
“Nicoli?”
She diverts her gaze, and her chest rises as she breathes in deep. “As I said, they are all monsters. Nicoli is my devil.” She glances at me. “And Alexius yours.”
A moment passes with a heaviness that settles around us, and then, as if new resolve floods into her, she rights herself, her eyes once again light and kind. “We need to do some damage control to your make-up. These tears simply won’t do.”
She opens her matching dusty-rose purse, and I’m not even sure what she pulls out of it, but a few breaths later, she steps back and says, “Perfect. Like new.”
Pity I don’t feel like new. My life just got plucked right from under me, a life I didn’t have three days ago.
God, he was right.
I had nothing when I walked in here, and somewhere between then and now, I latched on to hope and started dreaming of the life I’d have after our deal would come to an end.
Hope. The one thing a girl like me should never have.
Mirabella straightens my cathedral-length train, then faces me. “I know this is hard for you and probably not what you imagined when you agreed to this. But I promise you, you won’t have to do this alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
Somehow, the way her eyes glimmer, the soft hues of compassion shining from light green irises, settles my nerves a little.
“Why are you being so kind to me? You don’t even know me.”
A warm smile curves at the ends of her lips. “There was a time when I walked through those large front doors, knowing no one. Knowing nothing of this life. I know what it’s like to feel like a fish out of water in a world you don’t belong in. But that’s a story for a different day.” Taking a step back, she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “So, are we doing this?”
The fear and uncertainty are crippling, but I inhale deep and square my shoulders, allowing an old memory to trickle through. A memory of my mother yelling at me, kicking at my bed because I refused to look at her.
“You stuck-up bitch. You think you’re better than me? You think you deserve better than this shitty life? You deserve nothing. Nothing, you hear me! I knew the day that doctor cut you out of me you’d ruin my fucking life. I told them to let you die, that my torn placenta was a sign from God that I had a cursed child in my belly. But no one listened. No one fucking listened, and now I’m stuck with you, you worthless piece of shit.”
Chills run across my skin, the pain from that memory slicing me wide open, but along with the bleeding torment comes renewed determination to do whatever the fuck I can to change my fate.
“I’m ready.”