Adapt (I)

SCARLET

It’s not like I am a stranger to having my world turned upside down. I dealt with it when I was a young, when I slowly grew into my life on the run. I had become accustom to the abandonment of friends, people I thought I could trust. None of that affects me anymore.

But this is not one of those times. This is not easier or harder. This is different. This is something I have never done before.

This is not a new revelation. This isn’t the first time my brain had ever comprehended it. This is just the first time I am consciously aware of it. So, when I snap back to reality and see Boe standing there, looking at me with dismay, I straighten my shoulders and take a deep breath.

“Boe, I don’t want to kill you. That is the entire point.”

He is still for a moment, searching my expression for signs of deception. Then he sighs. “Good, because I would be a real shame if the first real friend I’ve had in a long time, wanted to kill me.”

I smile, even though it is weak.

“What are you thinking?”

“I am thinking that it is ironic that your friend is a Therian.” I muse to hide the turbulence I feel.

Confusion crosses his face, before a cheeky grin replaces it. “Half Therian.”

“And yet I am still two times better than you!”

He raises one eyebrow. “Oh, we’ll see about that. Your training resumes tomorrow so you better prepare yourself for a thorough defeat.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah right.”

We are both silent for a second, as we realize exactly what we are joking about.

~

I have never prepared a meal as sluggishly as I do right now. Boe had walked me back to my little house, then left me alone, knowing I needed some time to be with my thoughts.

But I am beginning to think that is a bad idea.

I imagine this like Superman finding out that he is an alien. Going your whole life thinking you are one thing and finding out you are the opposite must be very disorientating.

It is very disorientating.

Because, in truth, I don’t know how I feel about this whole revelation. Do I believe Boe? Of course. Somewhere deep inside me I know he is telling me the truth. He was right when he said it explains everything.

But how do I feel about it?

Numb. There is no other way to describe it. I do not feel angry or sad or confused or even relieved.

Numb.

I place the spring onions on the chopping board and begin peeling away the dried outer layer. Unconsciously, I gather the ingredients to the pizza that Boe had started to make before our run. I surprise myself with this realization, expecting myself to make something far greasier.

I giggle. Boe has made one positive impression on me, if nothing else.

I wonder, absently, if I would have found out about my parents if I hadn’t have met Boe. What would have happened?

My thoughts fly to my dreams. The crazed need to run. The confusion. The blood, or rather, the taste of it.

Somehow, I don’t think I would have figured it out by myself. I think I would have just denied myself the realization. But would that mean that ignorance equalled bliss? Or would I have been driven mad by the dreams?

Realistically, I know there is no way to know for sure now, but I ponder on it for another second.

I think about how I reacted to the news. How calm I was, considering what I was told. Yes, I lashed out at Boe, but ultimately, I took it well. Better than I would expect of myself. Does that mean that I am ready to learn that I am half Therian?

I dice the onions and toss them in the hot pan.

A bang at the door startles me out of my thoughts.

I wipe off my hands and stride to greet my visitor, thankful for the distraction.

I swing it open to see Trent.

“Whoa, hey!” I say, surprised to see him.

“Hey girly, not answering my calls?”

I grind my teeth. “Just for this afternoon. I have some stuff to do...”

“Yeah, you do.” He holds up a newspaper. Today’s to be exact. “Four girls have gone missing from your school.”

“What?”

Trent pushes around me. He looks around my house. “You have been redecorating?”

I shrug. “Boe been helping me become a better hunter.”

Trent turns to me with a raised eyebrow. “Sure doesn’t seem so.” He hands me the newspaper. “Four days after Boe came to town Melissa Townshend went missing. Not a trace was left of her. Not even a hair. Within twenty-four hours Casey Miller went missing, and last night Tracey Amos and Iris Telis vanished. There was a witness this time, though. A young boy that said the man took her from her bedroom in the middle of the night.”

I read through the article, combing for the usual signs of Therians. But these were all abductions. Therians only leave bodies in their wake.

“Trent, what does this have to do with me? It sounds like a job for the cops.” I hand him the newspaper back.

“The young boy’s statement is being discredited.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he reported that the man had glowing green eyes and could fly. Tracey’s bedroom window is three stories up with no trees or easy access. Unless this guy had a crazy long ladder, I am guessing that the kid is not making it up.”

There was nothing about the boy’s story in the newspaper. “How do you know this?”

“Because Tracey Amos lives across the road from me, and the boy is Clark.”

My attention spikes at Clarke’s name. He is the closest thing I have to a little brother. I take a deep breath and run my hands through my hair. “You’re sure that it is a Therian?”

He narrows his eyes. “I have seen you run out the door on less of a lead.”

I nod. “Your right.” But I stay rooted, torn between finally working out what is wrong with me and saving lives. Is that unfair? It feels selfish, to even be considering putting my emotional well-being before the lives of others.

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, and then back again. I rub my face and realize that my mental state can wait. The girls that have gone missing are in my grade. They mightn’t have been my friends, as per say, but they have families and lives to live. So do other girls that could potentially go missing if I don’t put a stop to it.

Before I can change my mind, I rush into my room and grab different clothes. I come back out to see Trent hovering over the map.

“Okay, I will call Boe. It should be done soon.”

He doesn’t hear me. Instead, he asks, “All of these red strokes, are they Therians?”

I swallow. “Yeah. They are gone, though.”

He looks up. “What? You let them escape?”

I shake my head. “No.” Except Logan, but Trent doesn’t need to know that.

“So, you killed them?”

I look away. I am trying to avoid actually saying it. Guilt balls in my gut. Always felt remorse over their deaths, but now it seems even more personal.

Trent rounds the table to stand in front of me. “Scarlet, tell me you did your job.”

I step away from him, unable to bear the pressure. “Is it really my job, Trent? Is it really all my responsibility? You say that like as if every life I cannot save is on my head.”

“Scarlet, even you have said that you were put here to hunt and kill those monsters. Are you forgetting what they did to my family?”

I cringe at the word ‘monster’. “Trent, do you think I asked to be what I am? Did you ask to be a human? Did an ant ask to be an ant? No. So what makes you think that Therians ask to be Therians? Huh? I know what my job is, and I will do it, but you will not lecture me on my responsibilities, because I know what they are better than you do.”

“Scarlet, where is this coming from?”

“It’s coming from me! For once I am saying exactly what I am thinking. And I think you should leave.”

“You seem like you need someone right now.” His softly weathered face tenses with concern.

“Yeah? Well, I am pretty sure I needed someone there for me my entire life. No one bothered then. Why should you now?” I stomp to the door and fling it back so hard that it crashes against the dry wall.

Trent stands there. His pale blue eyes are confused. He is trying to read me. I have never yelled at him like this. Him and I are usually of one mind, but right now, his gaze seems like a galaxy far away, and I am just a little blip on earth.

I look pointedly toward the door and back to Trent, signalling that he is to leave. Another second passes before he breaks eye contact and strides out the door. I slam the door behind him. I am not even sure why I am so agitated. All I know is that my jaw won’t unclench, and my nails are digging into my palms.

I go to the map and look at all of the markings. Some of them I did know. The crosses are where we had killed Therians. Triangulated dots are known nests of Therians. But I have yet to figure out what the dotted paths are. They don’t follow the roads and they begin and end abruptly. I never had the chance to ask Boe, though I am sure he wouldn’t have told me. He is very secretive about his legend. I had to figure it out myself.

That is the trick with everything in my life. I have to figure it out for myself. No one is going to tell me, because there is nobody to tell me.

So, where does that leave me with figuring out how to deal with being a mix breed of Hunter and Therian?

I have no idea.