SWNOVELS Acts of Grace: Part 2 – Chapter 27
Walking through the threshold of William’s home, I ask myself what the hell I’m doing.
All morning I’ve been at war with myself. Should I come clean with William or should I leave it up to Titus?
Titus made it clear that the only thing holding him back was my brother and how it would affect my relationship with him. He’s not even worried about his relationship with the men of WRATH which speaks volumes.
The fact that he’s willing to forgo a relationship with William, or his other friends for that matter, all for me is beyond what any declaration of love could mean.
The least I could do is bear the brunt of this argument with William for us—for our future.
I know William will be mad at first, but like I told Titus, he’s got no leg to stand on.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” William’s smile meets my hesitant one, and I know it’s now or never.
“Hey…” I close his office door behind me and take a seat on the leather armchair in front of his massive oak desk.
“Uh-oh. I know that look. What did you do?” William raises a brow, his lips smirking.
“Um, why does it necessarily have to be me who did something?” I try to sound offended, but I know that I did in fact do something and that he probably won’t be too happy with that something.
“Come on. We grew up together, I know all of your tells. Now talk, what’s going on and do I have to kick someone’s ass?”
I visibly flinch at his words. I pray to God that this doesn’t end in his trying to kick someone’s ass. “Before we talk, I want to know how things are between you and Bella. I know I gave you a hard time in the beginning, but it was never because I didn’t like her or want her as part of our family. It was because of our father’s secrets and what I thought it would do to her when she found out.”
William’s brows push together, concern visibly growing on his face. “Of course, I know that. You two seem to be getting on as thick as thieves. And we’re doing great. I can’t wait to grow our family and I’m already trying to pressure her for a third baby.” His face goes from a frown to a huge grin and then back to a frown, all in the span of a minute. “But what does all that have to do with what you want to talk to me about?”
The room grows quiet, the sound of my swallowing filling the void and making William’s visible concern grow. “I bring it up because I don’t want you to think that the fact that Bella is over a decade younger, your best friend’s niece, or your friend’s daughter is something that I’d ever look down upon.”
Understanding reaches his eyes, his jaw ticking and fist clenching beating clear indicators that he knows what I’m getting at. “Who? Who is it, Ashley? Which one of my brothers has crossed the line?”
My mouth goes dry and my lips suddenly lose their ability to work.
“Ashley, tell me now or so help me god…”
“What? What will you do, William? Give them shit for something you’re guilty of doing yourself? That’s a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”
William sneers, his knuckles cracking as he flexes his hands. “It all depends, dear sister. You don’t know these men like I do. Some of them, they’re too damaged. They could never give you what you need.”
“So, what you’re saying is that you see yourself as better than some of your so-called brothers. Because last I checked, you and I have our own set of baggage and from what I’ve seen, you’ve still gone forward and robbed the cradle.” My stomach churns, knowing that I’ve just dealt a low blow, but I couldn’t help it—he’s being a hypocrite.
William closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Just tell me one thing, sister. Tell me it isn’t Titus.”
My mouth drops open, unable to answer. Of all the names he could have picked, his go-to was the man I love.
William’s fist pounds the desk, “Damn it, Ashley. Why him? Of all the men in the world, why him?”
Fury boils within me, heating me to my core and making me act before thinking. Standing up, I slam both of my palms onto his desk, “Why not him?! He’s always been there for me. In my darkest moments, it has always been him who’ve I leaned on. The knight who rescues me from my nightmares and delivers me into bliss.”
William’s face puckers, a visible tint of green tinging his skin. “Do not talk to me about bliss with Titus.” William gets up from his desk and walks over to his bar before pouring himself a healthy pour of whiskey. “Look, I’m going to give it to you straight. You’re a woman and I’m not going to talk to you through rose colored glasses. Titus, I love him like a brother, but he has issues. I’m not sure he’s capable of having what it takes to be a good partner.”
My eyes narrow, taking offense at his words. “You’re not the one who lies in bed with him at night. You’re not the one he comforts. You’re not the one he protects, leaving his needs last in order to ensure yours are met.” I walk over to him, grabbing the tumbler from his hand and taking it for myself. “I am. I’m that person. I’ve been that person and I can tell you from experience, he has what it takes.”
I take a massive gulp from the glass, the amber liquid burning on its way down. Even though I’ve just declared myself to my brother, there’s still a part of me that thinks William might be right, that Titus might not want to be the kind of partner I need. A husband. A father.
William pours himself another glass before going back to his desk, this time sitting on top of the wooden piece.
“Ashley, I’m not sure you know everything there is to know about him. If you did, I don’t think you’d be coming in here all gung-ho ready to fight me to the death over this.”
I throw my head back, letting out a deep sigh. “Titus told me he sees himself as a monster. That you’d see him as one too.” Lifting my head, my gaze meets William’s, “I can tell you right now, there is nothing you can tell me that will make me stop loving that man.”
William sucks in a sharp breath, “So it’s like that, is it?”
I give him a small nod. “It’s like that.”
“Well, I’m still your brother and that means that I have a duty to protect you. That duty extends above and beyond whatever loyalty I owe my friends.” William throws back the contents of his glass, grimacing as he hisses. “I’m going to tell you what I know of Titus—what I’ve seen. If you still want to be with him after that, then don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
It’s my turn to throw back the contents of my drink, slamming the tumbler onto the desk once I’m done. “Like I said, nothing could make me stop loving him.”
“Since you’re in love with him, and you’ve implied he’s been in your bed,” William’s face contorts, his throat bobbing as he swallows audibly, “I assume you know the kind of kink he’s into.”
My face heats and I’m unable to look my brother in the eye. “Yes.”
One word. That’s all I can muster. This is already awkward as hell, and I’m not about to go into the details of my sex life with one of his best friends.
“Okay, well, he’s always been like that. Liked that type of stuff.” William closes his eyes and mumbles, “I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this shit.”
“I can’t either, as far as I’m concerned, what we do in our bed is none of your business.”
William’s eyes shoot open, his hardened gaze staring me down. “It very damn well is my business if it can end up killing you.”
My brows push together, my head tilting to the side. “What are you talking about? Sure, he likes it a little rough, but he’s never once put me in danger.”
Blowing out a breath, William crouches down, his hands reaching for mine. “Look, what I’m about to tell you will be upsetting so just hear me out til’ the end.”
“Okay.” I give him a hesitant nod, unsure of what could be so scary.
“Remember how in high school we used to have parties at Hudson’s house? His parents were never home, and he had no siblings who would rat him out, so it was the perfect spot to do whatever the fuck we wanted and not get in trouble.”
“Yes, I remember. You used to think you were so slick, sneaking off in the middle of the night. As if we didn’t know where you were heading.” I smile, my thoughts going back to simpler times.
“Okay, well, on one of those nights we had a huge party. It was late into the night and mostly everyone had cleared out except for the crew and a couple of drunk stragglers. I was out back by the pool with Hudson and Ren, recapping our adventures for the night when all of a sudden a panicked and half-dressed Titus comes rushing at us. I’ll never forget what he said or what we saw next.”
My hands squeeze William’s, “Just spit it out.”
William looks away, unable to meet my gaze as he delivers the words that rock me to my core. “He was freaking out, mumbling, ‘I killed her. I fucking killed her.’ over and over again.”
My mouth hangs open, trying to digest the scene he’s just described.
“In that moment we thought all was lost. No matter what, we’d stand by him because he was one of us. Our brother. But in that moment, we didn’t know what to do. So, we just followed him. Followed him right into a back bedroom where this girl lay naked and passed out. She had her legs bound, her arms tied above her head, mouth gagged, and her neck… there was a belt around it.”
My hand reaches up to my mouth as I gasp for air, this revelation making things so much clearer when it comes to my tortured man.
William places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, “We all did what we could. We tried to save the girl. But it was too late. She was gone.”
“No,” my face contorts as I try to make sense of everything I’ve just learned. Yes, Titus likes things rough, but he’s always been so careful. “This can’t be true.”
I push away from William, getting up from my chair and toppling it over.
“Ashley, wait, there’s more. You have to listen.”
“No. This isn’t real. This is all a lie. You’re telling me this so I won’t want to be with Titus anymore. That’s all this is.” I rush to the door, needing to escape my brother’s words. Words that have dug deep into my heart, creating a growing wound that won’t stop bleeding.
How could the man I love keep such a massive secret from me?
This can’t be true, for if it is, then I’m in love with a monster.