SWNOVELS Acts of Atonement: Chapter 3
ANOTHER MONDAY, another cup of coffee. Popping a pod into the Keurig, I try and decipher the emotions running through me. Finally landing on a mixture of excitement and nerves, I try to explain the feelings away.
It’s the first time I’ve ever left Harper with someone other than family or a professional facility, so that could very well be the source of my nerves, but where is the excitement coming from?
A vision of Isabella flashes in my mind’s eye. God, she is stunning. I don’t ever remember her being so damn beautiful. Her long black hair and piercing gray eyes are enough to bring any man to his knees. But she’s so fucking young. Eighteen years young, to be exact. I give myself a mental slap, shoving any and all thoughts of Bella’s beauty out of my mind.
Switching gears, I go over the schedule she texted me last night. It looks like they’re going to the arboretum instead of the zoo. Harper will get a kick out of seeing all the pretty flowers and I wish I could be there to see her reaction.
I’ve never had any excursions with Harper before. I’m not good with planning that sort of thing and Heather was never one to plan activities for us or even establish a set schedule for our daughter, despite being the primary caregiver in our home. I don’t think there was a motherly bone in that woman’s body.
What in the hell was I thinking marrying her?
A knock at the side door brings me back to the here and now. I walk over and open it, seeing two spunky six-year-old boys and a smiling Bella.
“Morning.” I clear my throat. “I forgot to give you a key on Saturday.” After waving everyone inside, I move to pull out the spare key from the overflow drawer and hand it to Bella. “Feel free to come and go as you please. Treat this as you would your home.” I go on to write all of the login details and instructions for the security system on a sheet of paper. “If possible, please try and memorize this information and then burn it when you’re done. I don’t want it floating around where someone could easily get ahold of it.”
Just as I’m handing Bella the paper, Harper begins to babble through the baby monitor.
“Sounds like our little pumpkin is up.” Bella beams, turning to face the twins. “Boys, sit at the breakfast nook. You get thirty minutes of screen time while I get Harper situated and breakfast started.”
“Woohoo!” the boys cheer, as they pull their tablets from their packs, leaving me in awe of how easily she just took control of the situation. I’m about to tell her how impressed I am with her when I realize she’s already left for Harper’s room. Right, I need to be just as efficient and get ready for work.
“Matt, Max, I’m heading to my room. Holler if you need anything.” I walk out of the kitchen donning the biggest smile. Things might just be looking up for the Hawthorne family.
Forty minutes later, I step into the kitchen and inhale deeply. The smell of breakfast sausage and maple syrup pull an audible groan from me. “It smells good in here. Is there anything left for dear old daddy-o?” Okay, that was weird. I’ve never called myself daddy-o before. Sure, I’m Harper’s father, but it’s not like the twins are mine and Bella their mother.
“Yes, I left you a plate on the counter. It’s covered in foil to keep it warm. There are breakfast sausages and French toast,” she replies without skipping a beat.
Maybe she didn’t find that slipup as awkward as I did? God, I hope not. Day one and I’ve already had to reprimand myself twice.
“Thanks but you don’t have to cook for me too, you know. I was just kidding.”
“No worries. It makes no difference cooking one extra batch since I’m already making enough for four,” she says as she begins to load the dishwasher.
Not wanting to make things more awkward, I grab the plate and sit at the table without further comment. I’m about to damn near lick the plate clean from how good everything is when Bella places a travel mug of coffee in front of me.
She’s fucking perfect. Not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, she’s also amazing with Harper, can cook her ass off, and she supplies me with coffee? Clearly, I proposed to the wrong woman.
Mentally smacking myself—again—I remind myself that not only is Bella eighteen, she is also my best friend’s niece and partner’s daughter. The thought of making her mine is not only off-limits, it’s impossible. I have to keep my head in check and do something to break out of this Bella fog I’m in. STAT.
“You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot. That is not a part of your job description.” Grimacing, I continue. “I didn’t hire you to play house. You’re Harper’s nanny. Nothing more, nothing less.” Dick thing to say, but Bella needs to know from the start that there are boundaries which under no circumstances can be crossed. This isn’t some romance novel where the single dad falls in love with the hot nanny.
“It’s coffee, not a declaration of undying love.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “It’s seriously no hardship and there is definitely no reason for the attitude, William.” Bella circles a finger in my direction. “I should have put a little chill pill in that coffee of yours. Next time, I’ll know better.” With a wink, she turns her back to me and heads toward the mudroom.
Well lookie here, Bella has some sass to dish.
Seizing the opportunity to slip away without further confrontation, I move toward Harper’s highchair and plant a kiss on top of her head. “Goodbye, pumpkin. I hope you have a wonderful day.” Stepping toward the twins, I simultaneously ruffle their hair and speak loud enough for Bella to hear. “That goes for the rest of you too. Let me know if you need me to bring anything home.” Home. As if this was their home too. Before I make this morning any more awkward, I step out into the porte-cochere and into my SUV, turning up the radio as I speed off to work.
As soon as I’m settled in my office, Aiden pops his head through the doorway. “Hey Hoss. How’d the first morning handoff go? Isn’t Isabella amazing?”
She’s amazing, alright. Not sure I want to share just how amazing I think she is with her father, though.
“She’s perfect. I’m just worried we’re monopolizing too much of her time.” I slowly run the palm of my hand down my face. “She’s eighteen. Shouldn’t she be going out with friends, getting into trouble, doing all sorts of things kids her age do? I remember eighteen and I was nowhere near as responsible as Bella.”
“Bite your tongue, man. My Bella has always had a good head on her shoulders. I think losing Lucia only solidified that even further. I suppose she could have gone either way, rebellious teenager or what she is today.” Aiden lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his blond hair. “I’m truly blessed she turned out to be as strong as she is. I honestly don’t think I could have handled a hot mess teenager on top of the twins while grieving the loss of my wife. No fucking way.”
“What about friends? Surely she needs some sort of release. She can’t take on all of that responsibility without letting loose every once in a while,” I wonder out loud, not sure if the concern is purely an altruistic one. “I’m afraid I’m just adding more to her load and that it’ll become too much for her to handle.”
“She unwinds,” Aiden huffs out while rolling his eyes. “We’re having a get together next week and some of her friends are coming over for the barbeque. I sent an invite to the group via the email chain. Are you coming?”
“I must have missed it with everything we’ve had going on. Of course, I’ll be there.”
“Great. You’ll get to witness firsthand that Bella does, in fact, let loose. Man, you make it sound like she’s our servant and we don’t let her go out or have fun.” Aidan places his hand on his heart in mock indignation. “During the school year, I would take the morning shift with the twins and Bella would pick them up from after school care. She was only in charge from four to seven and was only on full-time duty when I had to go out of town for work. Otherwise, she’s been free to do whatever she wants—within reason, of course.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear. I was just saying she’s a lot more grown-up than I was at her age. That’s for sure.” I shift in my seat, suddenly becoming extremely uncomfortable with this topic. “So, you ready for the Cicily contract? I hear she’s one tough broad to handle.”
“Yes. That’s actually why I came in here this morning.” Aidan flashes me a megawatt smile and leans forward in his chair. “I’ve got her security team briefed and ready to go. Just needed you to go over the contract one last time. Her manager made a couple of changes and I want to run them by you beforehand.”
“Of course.” I take the file from his hand and shoo him out of my office. “I’ll look it over now and get back to you within the next hour. Let’s see what crazy demands they’ve come up with now.”
As soon as the door closes behind Aiden, my phone dings notifying me of an incoming text message. It’s from Bella. After unlocking my phone and opening the messaging app, I see a picture of Harper trying to pick a tulip.
BELLA: Don’t worry. She didn’t actually pluck the flower. The Arboretum police would have chased us out ?! It did, however, make for a perfect photo op.
I quickly type out a reply.
WILLIAM: Thanks for sharing. It made my morning.
I tuck my phone back into its charging cradle and smile. It feels good to know Harper is having fun and being cared for with genuine concern. I’ll have to remember to thank Bella once more when I get back to the house tonight and maybe apologize for being such an ass earlier.
It’s six o’clock when I make my way up the steps and into the house, tulips and chocolate in tow. As soon as I step inside, I hear commotion in the kitchen and the sweetest sound to ever bless my ears, Harper’s giggles, courtesy of the two boys sitting on either side of her. Matt and Max are making silly faces at Harper while slurping spaghetti noodles and making noises reminiscent of an elephant in distress.
“Looks like I’ve been missing out on all the fun.” I laugh wholeheartedly. “I come bearing gifts. Tulips for the ladies, and chocolate bars for the gents. That is, of course, if it’s okay with Bella. Not sure what the rule is on sweets before bedtime.”
I know I’m laying it on kind of thick, but I kept feeling like a piece of shit the whole day. Bella is so damn sweet, going out of her way to make Harper’s day fun—even sending me update photos—and how do I thank her? By being an asshat, implying she wasn’t taking her job seriously.
“They’re allowed a sweet treat after dinner, but you really didn’t have to bring us anything.” Bella’s cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink as she puts down another place setting at the table. “Will you be joining us for dinner, or will you be eating later?”
Before I can answer her, both boys turn to Bella and assault her with the biggest puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen. “Bo Bella, can we eat the chocolate now, pleeeease?” I chuckle and quietly mouth sorry, hoping I didn’t just create a nighttime tantrum for her.
“You both can have some chocolate after dinner as long as you thank Mr. Hawthorne for his kindness.” She looks up at me through her long thick lashes and smiles. “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hawthorne,” the boys say in unison.
“No problem. It was my pleasure. I was inspired by the photo you sent earlier and didn’t see why my beautiful Harper couldn’t have some tulips of her very own.” I smile, remembering Harper trying to pick the flower at the arboretum. “Besides, I wanted to thank all of you for giving my daughter such a fun day.”
Unable to help myself, I move behind Bella and gently place my hands on either hip, digging my fingers into the material of her leggings. I’m asking myself what the fuck I’m doing when her body responds with a sharp intake of breath. My touch affects her. I smile to myself as I breathe her in. She smells of amber and vanilla—the sultry scent such a stark difference to what I’d expect from someone her age.
Leaning in even closer—I hover my lips just above the skin behind her ear—and softly whisper, “Sorry for this morning.”
As if my voice was the key and her body the lock, goosebumps begin to rise along the contour of her neck and her once steady breathing turns ragged. Instantly, I envision her breathing like this, writhing underneath me while I slowly lick my way down her body. Realizing I’ve crossed a line, I take one last moment and squeeze both hands before releasing my grip on her hips.
I shouldn’t have done that, knowing full well touching her like that is off-limits. So much for not crossing boundaries.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll be better.