SWNOVELS Acts of Atonement: Chapter 13
THE PAST WEEK has been a blur. Dad’s condition remains the same and we’re still living in the rental property. The twins have a birthday coming up next week and I don’t want them to miss out because of everything that has happened. Not wanting them to suffer more than necessary, I resolve to make their day special despite the shitty situation we all find ourselves in. Besides, I know Dad wouldn’t want it any other way.
I’m sitting at the kitchen island working in Photoshop when Ashley walks in.
“All of the kids are down for a nap—at the same time. Can you believe it?!” Her eyes open wide in a mixture of awe and excitement.
“Ha! You’ve managed to bag a unicorn.” I laugh while patting her on the shoulder. It’s then I notice her beautiful pendant earrings and remember the one I’d found back at William’s house. “I’ve been meaning to tell you I found one of your earrings back at the house in Dallas. It’s really pretty and I’m sure you’ve missed it. It’s a gold leaf with a black pearl in front of the stud backing.”
“Huh, that doesn’t sound like anything I own.” Ashley’s eyebrows scrunch together in thought.
Duh, Bella. How could I be so naive? William is a grown-ass man. A man with needs. It probably belongs to someone he’s been seeing, or saw. What if that someone was my aunt?! Don’t be stupid, Bella. He already told you he wasn’t seeing her. So then who does the damn earring belong to?
“Bella? Is everything okay?” Ashley pulls me from my thoughts, and the look on her face tells me I wore my neurotic inner dialogue on my proverbial sleeve.
“Yeah. Sure, of course. Why wouldn’t it be? I was just thinking about the boys’ birthday coming up. I’m designing some of the party decor as well as the invites. Do you think the other members of WRATH will come out for their party?” I put on a fake smile and hope my change of subject is enough to throw Ashley off my scent.
“I know Titus will be out here by the end of the week… visiting Aiden, of course.” Ashley’s cheeks flush red as she tacks on that last bit. “I’m sure they’ll all be coming out here at one point or another, so why not just make it one big scheduled visit as opposed to various individual ones. That way we can pen in the boys’ party.”
Before I can ask Ashley what that flush was all about, William walks into the kitchen and heads for the fridge.
“Hey.” William’s deep voice rumbles in greeting.
He looks absolutely delicious in a fitted long sleeve Henley—sleeves pulled up, exposing his forearms—and a pair of dark washed jeans that hug his tight ass just right.
I’m pretty sure Ashley just caught me ogling her brother, and now it’s my turn to flush beet red. Time to get the hell out of Dodge. “I’m beat. Going to see if I can lay down for a bit while the kids are down.” I jump off the bar stool and scurry out of the kitchen, not giving either of the Hawthorne siblings a chance to say a word.
William
Well, that was odd. Bella couldn’t get out of here fast enough, which makes me curious…
“What were y’all talking about?” I pin Ashley with an accusatory gaze.
“The twins’ birthday party and whether or not the team will be able to make it out here.” Ashley purses her lips and raises an eyebrow in suspicion. “She did, however, get really weird when she asked me about a missing earring she’d found at your house. She got this strange look on her face when I told her it wasn’t mine. It almost looked like jealousy.”
I try to school my face as much as possible, but Ashley is like a bloodhound. If she catches a whiff of any secret, she doesn’t relent until she’s got the other party divulging all of their deepest and darkest. Not today, Fido. Not today.
“I wonder what that was all about.” I shrug my shoulders and take a gulp from the orange juice container in my hand. I don’t even like orange juice.
“Hmmm.” Ashley looks at the orange juice carton and then back at me. “You know it would be a terrible idea for you to hook up with her, right? She’s thirteen years younger than you. Thirteen. Not to mention she’s your best friend’s niece and friend’s daughter. A friend who is in a coma. Oh, and let’s not forget that you have a deranged ex who won’t let you go. Do you really want to bring her into that mess?”
“There’s no bringing her into anything because there is nothing going on between us.” I try and remain stoic but Ashley keeps busting my balls.
“And all of those reasons don’t even come close to touching what the real problem would be. The whole situation between our parents is the big whopper and what should be your biggest deterrent. Does she know about our dad? That’s all sorts of fucked up.” Ashley shakes her head and closes her eyes, displaying a look of horror on her face. “If Bella were to find out, she may never want to speak to you again. Do you really want to risk building a relationship only to have it fall apart on you? You’d have that big secret looming over you at all times. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
“What big secret?” Bella asks as she steps back into the kitchen.
“I thought you were going to take a nap,” I snap at her, my voice coming out high pitched like that of a prepubescent boy.
“I forgot my charger.” She raises a brow as she picks up the laptop charger attached to the outlet under the island. “So… what’s the big secret?”
Unsure of how much she really heard, I decide to err on the side of caution and share the minimum. “My father’s death. As you can see, it’s none of your concern; and if it’s all the same to you, I would rather not talk about it.” My tone is cold and sarcastic, not actually seeking permission but rather being dismissive. I can feel Ashley’s eyes boring into me but I don’t bother looking over at her. She can try and guilt me all she wants, but she isn’t getting shit out of me. Deny. Deny. Deny.
“I- I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
I instantly regret taking that tone with Bella. She doesn’t deserve my treating her like this, especially with what she’s got going on right now.
“Mhm.” I nod and walk past both Bella and Ashley. “I’ll be in the study.”
I’ve only been in the study about two minutes when the door swings open. “There’s nothing to tell, Ash—”
“It’s not Ashley.” Bella’s soft voice flows into the room, causing my heart to clench with guilt. “Can I have a minute?”
“Yes. Of course,” I quickly respond, praying this has nothing to do with what Ashley and I were talking about—if only I were that lucky.
“You’ve always been there for me. Through all of the sorrow…” Bella’s voice trails off as she looks out the window. “I don’t know if you remember this, but you were the one who held me during Mom’s funeral. Dad was a mess, unable to care for himself, much less his children. Uncle Ren was all about the twins, trying to comfort them the best he could. The boys didn’t understand what was going on and needed Uncle Ren to rein them in. Lord knows those two were more than a handful. And me? I was caught somewhere in the middle. Left in limbo to deal with my pain and grief alone.”
Tears start falling down Bella’s beautiful face and she does nothing to wipe them away. I go to move toward her but she stops me, lifting one hand in the air. “No. I need to get this out.”
Not wanting to break her train of thought, I sit down and let her continue.
“I was fifteen, scared, alone, and confused. I didn’t understand how such a tragedy could strike our family. I needed Mom. The boys needed Mom… Dad needed Mom.” Bella’s eyes squeeze shut, as if trying to block out a memory. “I felt hopeless. Surrounded by a shroud of darkness and lost in a sea of loneliness where every man was out for themselves. My father, the twins, and even my uncle. But then you came in like a shiny beacon of light, my own personal life raft. You saw me standing by myself, walked up to me and took me into your arms, whispering words of comfort.” Bella’s eyes look deep into mine, a multitude of emotions shining through them: anguish, sorrow, gratitude… and love? “I will never forget what you told me that day. You pulled me into the crook of your neck and whispered into my ear.”
Like stepping back into a memory, Bella and I speak the words together. “When you feel alone, I’ll be here. When you feel sad, I’ll be here. When you feel scared, I’ll be here. I will always be here.”
Holy shit. I remember.
I’m paralyzed with overwhelming emotion as I try to remember the day of the funeral. Sure enough, it all starts coming back to me.
Aiden was a mess, barely able to hold himself upright as he sobbed audibly. The twins were wailing uncontrollably as their mother’s casket was being lowered into the ground. They didn’t understand why she was leaving them. Ren tried his best to comfort the boys, but it was short of a miracle how he managed to keep them from running into the ground after their own mom. Shifting my gaze, I finally noticed Bella. Tears ran down her cheeks, but the overall look on her face was vacant. Like she’d checked out. Given up on everything.
In that moment as I watched my friends grieve, I thought of when I’d lost my own parents. Recognizing the look on Bella’s face, I knew I had to step up. I couldn’t bear the thought of her going through such a loss on her own.
“I remember,” I manage to croak out.
Bella walks behind my desk and lifts her hand to my face. “And now, with my father… you’re here. Again.”
My body comes alive at her touch, the need to feel her in my arms once more is overpowering. Giving in to my emotions, I pull her down onto my lap, squeezing her waist with both hands and kissing my way down her neck.
“William, wait…” Bella’s squeak of surprise does nothing to mask the desire I see in her eyes, but I stop my ministrations and let her continue. “I shared all of that with you so you would know that you are not alone. Whatever happened with your father, I want you to know that I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”
My chest tightens and a lump forms in my throat. Bella’s words have rendered me speechless. This girl. No, this woman… amidst her own grief and sorrow has somehow found the strength to be there for me. God, if she only knew.