Accepting My Twin Mates

Evie

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I bit my lip nervously at the prospect of sharing an evening, alone, with my mates, and they were cooking for me too. This sweet and gentle side of them was nothing I had been prepared for. In a way, I wished they had been as I pictured them to be; cocky and egotistic. My decisions would have been far less complicated. They were kind and caring... loving, even. All the things I had always wanted and never received. And now I had those things... I didn't know what to do with them.

“Here's a notion, muffin head. f*****g enjoy it, Evva muttered.

“I would, except you're forgetting nothing in our life comes without a but; and that “but’ was steadily worrying me. Would they truly defy their parents, the Alpha and Luna, and their pack... just for me?

“You ok? You're staring into space” Lucy's voice cut through my rather irrational anxieties. “You're not rethinking your date are you?’

“It's not a date," I repeated for the umpteenth time. “I'm just going to dinner, and they happen to be there.”

“That's literally the definition of a date,” Lucy deadpanned. “And your t**s in that sweater dress say it's a date too.’

“I'm straight as an arrow and even I'm attracted to you," Catalina added, eating one of the churro cookies she and Lucy had been making in the pack kitchen when I came home. They had squealed like teen girls when I told them Astennu and I had kissed, heatedly.

“Do you mind?” I turned from the mirror to where she sat on the bed. “You're getting crumbs everywhere on my bed.”

She chuckled, filled with confidence, and raised a perfectly arched brow, “why? We all know where you're sleeping tonight... and itisn't here”

I huffed, “whatever,” muttering away and turned back to second guess my choice in attire with red cheeks.

Maybe I should change. I didn't want either twin to get the wrong impression. I thought my choice was cute and casual, a simple silvery-blue woollen sweater dress with slightly balloon sleeves. I had already kissed one and now I was fretting over whether the other would be expecting me to “give it up’ for him because I had for his brother. It felt like a foolish thought. For someone who came out with dirty sentiments, Badru was rather innocent and adorable. But he had the tendency to say dumb things without thinking. Perhaps he would surprise me?

“Evie, stop overthinking. You look great, and you're eating into your nondate-but-it's-definitely-a-date date. Here, put these boots on,” Catalina shoved a pair of brown flat ankle boots at me to put over my thick tights and opened the door. “They'll be perfect for sneaking into a boy's room like a naughty I6 year old. Trust me, I speak from experience.”

“Goddess, you're pushy,” I said as she physically pushed me out of my own door. I barely had five minutes to appreciate the new heavenly warmth from my fixed heating.

“And don't worry about your breakfast treatt” Lucy called out from behind Catalina, just out of sight. “Ym in the kitchen in th morning, so I'll make sure it remains undiscovered.”

Itwas how I had found them in the pack kitchen. I wanted to make a little surprise for breakfast in the morning, a food I knew both twins loved because they had stolen it out of the kitchen enough times to the point I quit making it.

“Generally, it's polite to leave the host's room that you're shoving said host out of, I balanced, putting my boots on in the hallway.

“I'm sure it is,” Catalina pouted teasingly. “But I don't think Lucy is ready to share a bed with me just yet. Your's looks pretty comfy to say it's just a mattress on the floor.”

“Why the f**k are you sleeping in my room?!” There was brazen and then there was Catalina. She was in a whole league of he own.

“To make sure she’s safe and that a particular pinche pendejo doesn't come making a rather stupid choice in the middle of the night, she said in mind-link while saying, “because I want to," aloud.

“0k,” I gave her a grateful smile, thankful that she was looking out for my friend on instinct.

without thinking twice, I reached out and pulled her into a hug, surprising her. “Thank you, I told her in secret.

“I'm willing to admit that 'm glad we didn't snatch her hair out, Evva huffed, though I could feel genuine respect oozing out of her.

“Don't go snooping through my things, I frowned, feeling the heat creep into my face yet again. My secret drawer was growin, less secret by the day.

A knowing smirk formed on her annoyingly perfect ruby lips. Balls, she was definitely going to go snooping now I had said something.

I walked away before I could embarrass myself any further and headed out of the pack house through the closest door. The temperatures outside were bitter, so I hurried around to the Alpha wing, to where I remembered climbing up the trellis; well, where I had clung to a naked Badru as he climbed up the trellis. I mind-linked them both as I approached and no sooner ha I reached the bottom, that the light from above switched on and the window was pulled up to reveal Badru’s perfect face. Hi hair formed a curtain around his features, only serving to highlight those sparkling midnight jewels of his.

“Why are you just standing there? Get climbing, it's freezing, he mind-linked, snapping me out of my momentary fawning. Grasping onto the intricate wooden lats, I began my ascent, smiling to myself at my situation. I was acting out some teen fantasy from my childhood. Yes, I had fantasised, on occasion, of sneaking into one of the twins’ rooms and then we would Kiss and... it had progressively become dirtier as I grew up.

His open arms greeted me when I neared the top. With ease, he grasped hold and pulled me up, lifting me through the window and shutting it behind me.

“Hey...” he breathed out, reaching to brush a lock of hair behind my ear. The same boyish grin plastered on his lips as the other times he had greeted me and in no way did it leave me any less entranced.

Goddess, these boys made my brain stupid.

“They make our coochie stupid too, Evva howled at the back of my mind.

“You and your coochie, need to zip it!’ I snapped.

Astennu

The smile hadn't slipped off of my face once since returning home. I had spotted my parents just leaving for their evening alone on their own date; I believe tonight was the theatre and dinner, followed by a run. More often than not, it ended with them grabbing a hotel room for the night. With any luck, that is how it would end this time.

Badru had been uncharacteristically quiet, only asking the bare minimum questions about the farmers’ meeting. Our dad had asked more and he was itching to leave with our mother. I knew he had felt it when Evie and I had kissed and I knew he would pout and sulk like a child. But I didn't think he would actually be upset.

“Are you seriously going to keep ignoring me with this weird silent treatment?” I sighed at the drama llama checking the foo, in the oven.

“I'm not ignoring you,” he muttered. “And I can feel you calling me a drama llama again! Quit it with that."

I'snorted, emptying the contents of the food processor into the bowl, “that's never happening, ever. And you're avoiding the question. Why is it really bothering you?"

“It's just... it highlights how far behind I am. I've always been used to us being equal... and now we're not” he frowned.

“Ru, we're not in a race against each other I sliced up some of the bread in front of me. “If today was your day and something happened, do you think I would be sulking like a child or do you think I'd be happy for you?"

“You're gonna, straight up, resort to emotional blackmail?” He looked at me flatly.

“Is it working?”

He was about to retort, when we each received a mind-link from our mate. Any trace of foul mood in him evaporated with th same breath. Without a word, he spun on his heel and headed for the stairs.

“I take it we're cool again?” I called out behind his disappearing form, only to be fully ignored.

The spinning mood on that guy.

Badru

“I'm almost there. Can one of you let me in?’

ll be there in a second! I replied, not sparing a second thought to anything else.

I was sure Astennu was shouting something at my back as I left the kitchen to head to my bedroom. His words melted into the background. My nour el-ain, as always, was my sole focus. I lifted my sliding bedroom window just in time for Evie’s perfect figure sashaying towards the base. I called for her to climb up when she remained unmoving, gazing upwards, not that I minded the time to appreciate her every curve and angle. My arms were open for her as she reached the top, ready to engulf and hold her for as long as possible. I placed an arm around her mid-back and thighs to pull her inside and sat her gently in the armchair by the window, turning to close it.

“Hey.." I brushed a strand of her hair back and out of her face, so I could see her eyes better.

They were a deep blue tonight, rather than stormy grey. The dress she wore was pretty, complementing everything about her and almost the same colour as my room. The tingles from such a light touch against her cheek surged up my arm and her h vanilla scent captured every ounce of my attention, just as it did the first day I caught the notes upon my return home. Neve would there be a day go by that her scent didn’t have me captivated.

“Diner's ready and I can't carry all this on my own. Quit trying to make moves and come help feed our mate; Astennu’s voic cut through my moment.

Tomorrow couldn't come quick enough. I would have all the moments I wanted.

Evie

“we'll bring dinner up in a second. Make yourself comfy, Badru smiled, reluctantly withdrawing away from me.

It was the second time for me to be in his room, but I hadn't taken in any of the features on the last occasion. The colour wa a mix of blue and grey, somewhat similar to my dress... and my eyes. If I remembered correctly, Astennu’s was a dark gold, like my hair... was it a coincidence? Or was it by design?

There was a low, oval table by the armchair I was seated which would make a decent surface to eat from. Slipping my boots off, I pulled it over in front of the fire burning away and grabbed a few cushions to sit on. Some of the artwork caught my eye for their peculiarity. Thin pieces of wood with pictures that appeared to have been burnt onto their surface; images of wildlife and natural scenes. Astennu had mentioned his brother was artistic, these had to be his. On the desk by the other large window, were a series of sketchbooks, wood slices, pencils and a device I had never seen before; a box with a dial and what looked like a soldering iron on top. I grasped one of the sketchbooks, but stopped myself from opening it. I wasn't about to go snooping, when I shouted at others for doing the same to me.

The sketchbook was still in my hands when the door opened, the twins each walking in with their own tray and an array of aromas that had my mouth watering. Badru's gaze flickered from mine to the bookpad, a slight pink shadowing my cheeks. “I didn't look through it... I was just looking around,” I gulped, for having been caught.

I spotted the little grin and scowl exchange between the brothers that lasted only a brief second, but it was enough to have me wondering what was on the papers.

“It's definitely us, it has to be. I wonder whether they're something naughty, my wolf barked in laughter at the final glare Badru blasted his double with.

“They're nothing particularly good, just dumb random doodles,” he placed his tray down and came over to pull the pad from my fingers, replacing it with his hand to lead me over to the seating I arranged. “We've made a few dishes for you to try. You might recognise some from work in the pack kitchen.”

I'sat between the two, facing the fire. Neither would let me lift a finger, insisting on filling my plate and opening a bottle of beer for me. One simple dish I recognised instantly was dukkah, a mix of ground nuts and spices. You dipped bread in olive oil and dipped that in the dukkah, a simple but tasty appetiser. Astennu and Badru took it in turns adding to my plate and explaining what each was. Lamb koftas with saffron, which were delicious and cooked to perfection. Tamiya with baba ganoush, a falafel-like pattie and a dip to go along with them. Koshari, a hearty dish I had eaten before, consisting of rice, brown lentils and macaroni. A thick lamb stew made with prunes, and mahshi, baked tomatoes stuffed with rice. And, as his brother told me, one of Astennu’s favourites, fatayers. These I had had several times with a variety of fillings. Tonight's were a mix of sweet potato and feta. They even surprised me by making a dessert, om Ali; pastry blended with pistachios, coconu flakes, raisins and sugar, cooked in cream and milk with a grating of spices on top.

I had never been so full, and to top it off, the comforting scents of my mates swirling around were making me sleepy too. I downed the rest of my beer and flopped back onto the plush carpet. Obviously, this wouldn't cut it for the twins. Badru pulled my torso to lay upon his lap and Astennu draped my legs over his, massaging my calves.

“The pictures on the wood, you did them?” I lifted my hand and pointed over to the wall.

“Yeah,” Badru grasped my hand softly, encasing it within his thick roughened fingers, and kissed my open palm. Both Evva and I melted a little at the action. “It's pyrography. I use that soldering iron thing on the desk, there, to do it. I started four o five years ago.”

“That top one of the stag was his first one,” Astennu indicated. “He's always been annoyingly good.”

“Do you do any?” I asked him.

“No. I'm not bad at it, just never had the knack."

“He seems to prefer animals that smell and like to bite,’ Badru sniggered.

“Explains why I hang out with you,” the other smirked triumphantly.

Badru aimed a pillow to throw, but I grabbed it off him before he could and thumped him in the chest. “If you're gonna start V'm moving, so make your choice” I laid down an ultimatum.

His arm slid around my waist, possessively, making his decision clear. It was good to know my nugget could be wise when he wanted to.

“If it's a touchy subject, feel free to tell me where to stick it... what was it like for you, growing up?” Astennu moved to lie on his stomach alongside me, resting his chin on his palm to keep his eyes on mine.

I pursed my lips. It wasn't something I dwelled on often. My childhood was neither good nor bad, neither sad nor happy, exciting nor boring. It simply was. A grey mass with the odd splash of colour from time to time.

“Hey. I didn't mean to upset you,” he reached out to cup my cheek, and Badru ran his fingers across my forehead.

“You didn't," I sat up, kneeling. “I don’t talk about it much. Actually, I don’t talk about it ever. I was never bullied, really. I was twice the size of anyone, they wouldn't dare. But I would hear the usual “rogue’ comment behind my back. The older couple that used to run the children's home was nice, Howard and Miriam. Howard used to read stories to us a couple of nights a week and Miriam taught me how to cook a little. Howard had a few issues with his heart as he was ageing, a bad heart murmur”

Werewolf healing degenerated as we aged.

“He died a few months before I turned I8 and Miriam passed a few weeks later. When the new people took over, they asked me to leave when I came of age. I was technically an adult. It wasn't as though anyone was going to adopt me at that age. Would've been nice for them to wait till I finished school, but they did arrange my room here in the pack house."

The Alpha and Luna had never interfered with the children’s home much. It was pretty much left to the operators to run. “Do you have any happy memories?” Badru asked, pulling me back to lean against his chest. He was truly making up for our day apart.

“Winter Solstice, I suppose,” I settled back into him, sighing to myself at how perfectly I fit against him. “Howard would get u all to cook the dinner for the day, him included, and we would all wait on Miriam, to say thank you for looking after us. He wasn't the most imaginative for gifts. It was nearly always a book and most of the time it would be the same one he got the previous year because he forgot,” I laughed at the memory. I must've had five copies of The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.

“What's one of your favourite memories together?” I wanted to distract them from the depressing mood I had dropped. “There's the hide “n’ seek prank Aste pulled. I think we were I2," Badru spoke behind me, his chest rumbling quietly with laughter.

“That wasn't funny. You really scared me,” Astennu sat upright.

“You're the one who left me outside, so it was karma,” Badru argued back.

“This sounds good, I wanna know," I leant forward, all ears.

“Ru wanted to play, but it was cold out and I wasn't bothered. He kept sulking till I gave in, so we went to play hide “n’ seek,’ he gave a pointed look at his brother behind me, and I didn't need to look to know Badru had on his trademark smirk. “After he ran off to hide, I ran back inside and waited to see how long it would take for him to give up. After an hour, I started to ge worried that something had happened and when I went looking, I find the jerk laid out in the snow.”

I looked between the two of them, grinning at this sweet tale. Astennu was now the one virtually pouting and Badru had the superior look on his face.

“I leapt up and grabbed him in a headlock when he came running,” Badru laughed. “I only let him go when he admitted I was the supreme king”

“You only won that one because you jumped me by surprise,” Astennu glared.

“Someone sounds like they want a rematch,” Badru began to flex behind.

“If this is happening, can you do it elsewhere?” I yawned. “I'm I00 tired to referee.”

I swear if these two start, I will break out of your meat sack and smack some heads, Evva sighed wearily. “Unless they wann: wrestle topless. That'd wake me up!

“We'll clean up while you get ready for bed,” Astennu pulled me up.

“I got you a t-shirt to wear and some things to freshen up with,” Badru was thrusting some material into my hands faster than my eyes could follow.

I uttered a quiet thank you and hurried into the bathroom. I never expected to share any of my childhood so soon and I hadn't expected myself to feel so open about it either. Over the years, on the rare occasions I would think back to my childhood, I learned to think about it clinically and to detach myself from it; one of my many, and probably unhealthy, defence mechanisms. Those defences were slowly crumbling, for the first time, around the twins and I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with the notion. It left me exposed and vulnerable, two things I hated feeling.

“Can you have this crisis in the morning?’ Evva yawned, the sound contagious in making me do the same again. “I'm tired and I want to snuggle up with our mates

“I just keep feeling like the other shoe-' but my wolf interrupted.

“Like the other shoe will drop. Deep down, do you think they'd let that happen?’

“Would you stop coming at me with all your reasonable wolf logic? Honestly, it feels like an oxymoron; I huffed, blowing some of my hair out of my eyes.

She laughed hysterically, “saying 'm right would literally kill your soul, wouldn't it?’

I'spat out the remaining toothpaste and quickly changed into the t-shirt given to me, not wanting to risk being caught naked again. As I was slipping back the covers of the bed, Badru entered, his eyes swirling black momentarily as they swept over m bare legs and hips; the shirt wasn't quite long enough to cover me fully. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, but I had already caught sight of his growing bulge. Astennu appeared a few minutes later in a pair of loose shorts and from how everything “swung, I knew there was nothing underneath. His brother emerged not long after, discarding his clothes in the hamper and remaining in his tight boxers; it was obvious he hadn't “fully deflated.

As Badru joined us, slipping into the unoccupied side of me. Before he could do anything else, I met his lips in a chaste but lingering kiss, briefly tasting his sweet spiciness and relishing the mini-explosion of tingles across my face. His dazed and hooded eyes clouded with distraction, I doubted he would have been able to react if I had pushed him from the bed. I turned to kiss Astennu goodnight, who reacted in a far less comically entranced state.

Kissing them both together like this was a slippery slope. There was always this fine line hovering and wavering in control with the twins and I didn't think I would want to resist what they started.

I pushed Badru to lie down and snap him out of his stupor, settling my head against his chest. He turned on his side, lifting my leg over his waist, the other twin hastily pressing himself behind me. Once again I was sandwiched between the two perfectly chiselled chests of my mate's, chasing away the doubts that sneakily crept into my mind with relentless dark tendrils. I could never sleep peacefully any other way ever again.