A VERY UN-SHAKESPEARE ROMANCE: ‘A Fake Dad Grumpy Sunshine Romantic Comedy’

Robbie was scraping his razor down his cheek when someone knocked on his bedroom door. He rinsed his face and left the bathroom to open it. Tim was standing on the other side, looking a little pale.

“Did you get any sleep on the couch Miss Purrfect has covered in cat hair?”

His brother shook his head. “Billie slapping cards on the table in the kitchen playing solitaire was the bigger culprit for my lack of Zs. Besides the obvious elephant in the house. Got a sec? I need some help. Clarice got stung by a jellyfish—”

“When?” he asked, going on alert. “Is Summer all right?”

“She hadn’t gone out onto the beach yet. Anyway, Clarice also took a hard fall hopping around, and while I got her into the house and tended to the sting, I’d like to carry her upstairs so she can rest. I thought she’d be more comfortable if we lifted her together. Billie finally crashed when I woke up, or I’d…”

“Sure thing.” Clapping his brother on the back, he followed him quietly down the stairs. “Is Tara up?”

“She hasn’t come down yet,” he said quietly. “And the girls are still out.”

“Well, it’s barely six.” He hoped his cousin had gotten more rest than he had because they had a lot to talk about.

He had an initial plan, but he wasn’t sure how she was going to react to being in touch with the Southie PD, especially when they had reason to suspect the Kellys had someone on the payroll. Robbie wanted to bring the officer leading the arson case into the larger Internal Affairs investigation. He didn’t see any other way. He could not handle the Kellys alone. He and Tara had to work with the police, and if Internal Affairs had to run the case, then so be it. The biggest issue he was having was where to keep the girls until the situation was resolved.

He didn’t think it was wise for everyone to stay together. They needed protective custody, but he wasn’t sending them off with strangers. His brothers couldn’t keep taking time off. God, he could finally fully understand the agonizing choice Tara had made to leave them with him in the first place.

“Lot on your mind today, huh?” Tim asked as they left the house. “Well, it’s a new day. Thanks for coming over with me.”

“You know it.” Besides, he would have a chance to see Summer and tell her he wanted to stay in touch but didn’t know how long it was going to be before he could call her again. He couldn’t keep his focus with her around, and his every waking hour had to be dedicated to solving this case so Tara and the girls could go home.

When they reached the women’s patio, Robbie spotted Summer resting her elbows on the kitchen island, wearing a white yoga outfit, her face tense and pale. Clarice was sitting on a barstool, also in yoga attire, also looking tense. Tim knocked on the patio door, and when Summer rose and waved them in, he slicked open the door.

“I hear someone got stung by a jellyfish, Clarice.” Robbie winced. “Having experienced a sting before, I sympathize. Let’s get you upstairs. Then I need to talk to Summer.”

“Actually, I need to talk to you too,” Summer said, coming around the island with a smile on her face.

Except that smile was a little tight, and suddenly his stomach was tensing in response. “Ah…if you’re a little upset about how things ended—”

“Not at all.” She came and stood in front of him, and he caught her shallow intake of breath. “Actually, Robbie, I have a question for you.”

He glanced over at Tim and Clarice, wondering whether they should find a private place to talk. But her green eyes were locked on him, and she didn’t seem bothered by the audience. “Shoot.”

Clarice puffed out a laugh; Summer slid her a look before returning her focus to him. “First question. Do you trust me?”

Shock landed first, and then he was narrowing his eyes. “Yes, mostly. We haven’t known each other long…”

“No, I suppose not.” She laid her hand on his forearm, igniting a fire on the bare skin below his T-shirt. “Well, I’m telling you that you can trust me all the way, and I’m asking you to believe that.”

His brows slammed together. “Okay, this is getting a little weird. What’s going on here?”

“She’s not planning on tying you up and hauling you off to Vegas to get hitched, so don’t worry,” Clarice answered with an evil grin.

“Haha.” Oddly, his stomach didn’t flip-flop at the thought of her dressed up in a casual white dress as they stood before a preacher in Sin City. “Very funny, Clarice. You know, you certainly aren’t acting like someone who got stung by a jellyfish.” He eyed the group staring at him, knowing when he was being cornered. “So what’s all this trust talk about?”

Summer reached into her purse and pulled out something that looked like a black wallet before flipping it open. The words FBI screamed at him. The gold badge and identification photo slapped him in the face. “No, you can’t be…”

“I am,” she said softly, guilt lighting her face as she set her ID down on the counter. “Lily Meadows out of the Boston office. This is Sheila Morales, my partner. And we’re here to help you with Tara’s problems.”

He watched her lips say the words, and all he could think over the rage boiling in his blood was that he’d kissed those lips and told her he didn’t want their time together to end. That he’d fallen for her. “Well, fuck you! You’ve been undercover this whole time? How dare you not tell me. We are so done here.”

Turning on his heel to leave, he was shocked to see Tim standing in front of his exit, arms clenched across his chest. “I know you’re mad, Robbie. I was a little too. But they’re here to help, and honestly, bro, don’t you feel better knowing you had two law enforcement officers looking out for the girls all the time along with us?”

He got in his brother’s face. “No, I fucking don’t, Tim. Get out of my way.”

“No,” he answered sternly, even as his Adam’s apple shifted in his throat. “You need to listen to them. Come on, Robbie. Lily didn’t like lying to you any more than you did her. You both have feelings for each other. Now, set it aside and open your ears.”

He could not believe his baby brother was challenging him. “You don’t tell me what to do. Move, Tim, or I will move you.”

“Robbie, please don’t walk out,” Summer—Lily—pleaded. “I went against my boss for a plan that doesn’t involve bringing Tara in officially.”

Spinning around, he realized his heart was pounding against his ribs. “You are not fucking bringing her into the FBI. Over my dead body.”

Clarice—God, what was her real name?—gave a giant sigh. “The Kellys would love it if we were all dead, don’t you think? That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Now take a moment and work it out. You’re a good police officer. You know what’s at stake here.”

He glared at her before Summer—dammit, Lily—stepped into his vision. “We both know how things work when this much mob money is involved, Robbie,” she said calmly. “Stop and think for a minute over this shock. It’s why you gave Roland Thomas in Internal Affairs the cash in the toy store parking lot outside Boston after you picked up the girls from the Beacon Hill gym.”

Boils might as well have covered his skin for how enraged he was. “You’ve been watching me this whole time? How long have you been on this case? When—”

“My CI told me Janice Brewster was bragging about the Kellys paying for her new fur coat.”

“Jesus Christ,” he said, running his hand over his neck.

“Janice said her boyfriend, Scotty Flanagan, was on their payroll and going places in the organization. Two days later, Tara found out her ex was cheating. At the time, we weren’t sure whether she was involved in the money laundering. Then we watched her haul a rather heavy bag out of the nail salon. You know what’s next. We started to surveil and caught the Kellys slashing her tires—”

“You didn’t protect her!” He cursed, clenching his fists as he stared her down. “Her kids were in that house.”

“We were prepared to step in if it got uglier,” Lily told him, her brow knitting. “Take a minute and let that sink in. The cops have the same MO.”

He spun away, his jaw popping. The cop in him was warring with the cousin, the one who hated knowing Tara had been so terrified out of her skin she’d run and sent her girls away. To him.

His ears buzzed. His heart knocked in his chest. He clenched his eyes shut, his emotions flying out of control like unruly fireworks.

“Robbie,” she said again in a calm voice, one he could hear entreaty him. “No one hauls mobsters in for a first misdemeanor destruction of property. That’s all we had then. No evidence. No witnesses. We were building our case. Like any good law enforcement official. We were tailing her when she went to Costco and had a buying spree. She looked like she was fleeing—”

“She was!” he finally exploded, spinning back around. “She was running scared. Like she is now. All you’ve done here is sit on us and twiddle your thumbs.”

He knew it was below the belt, but he couldn’t stop himself. Seeing her flinch made his gut twitch.

“Sorry to say this, Robbie, but isn’t that what you’ve been doing here too?” Clarice asked with an edge.

He had to rein in the urge to lash back. “Why aren’t you out looking for Scotty—”

“We are, trust me,” Lily continued in that same calm voice, although her face was several shades paler. “He hasn’t surfaced. Neither has Janice. If they do, we’ll bring them in immediately. But I knew Tara wouldn’t leave her girls alone forever, so here Sheila and I sat. But we weren’t twiddling our thumbs, and you know it. Just like you weren’t.”

He heard the steel in her voice and reluctantly nodded. “I have a plan—”

“Mine is better,” she said, her eyes flashing with that familiar challenge.

The punch to his gut was heavy-hitter quality. Now it all made sense. The initial foray to become friendly and then create rapport. He knew how the job was done, and God, they had done a good one. “I can’t risk her or the girls with you after all of this. I don’t trust you, which brings us back to your original question, doesn’t it?”

Hurt flashed in her green eyes, but her face remained stiff and wooden—so unlike the woman he’d come to care for.

“Robbie, you can’t do everything yourself,” Tim said quietly. “Tara said the Kellys have people on their payroll in your precinct.”

He was breathing hard as he turned to look at his brother. “You don’t know what the Feds are going to do with Tara. I do.”

“Robbie, didn’t you hear what Lily said?” Tim gestured in her direction. “She argued with her boss for a different way. At least hear her out. They care about Reagan and Cassidy and us. It’s not going to be like your other dealings with the Feds.”

“I could quote case after case of them grinding people down for a collar.” He made a rude sweep of his hand. “This— This is all an illusion. A mirage. That’s what undercover is. A bunch of lies wrapped up in pretty packages. Fed style. I won’t put my family in their hands, Tim. You don’t know how badly things could end up. It gives me fucking nightmares to think about it. If I didn’t believe it would screw with your head, I’d have my partner back in Southie send me a few photos of some crime scenes where the Kellys did their worst to a woman or a kid. Do you hear me? I can’t risk it!”

His brother studied him before giving an explosive breath. Then he walked over to Clarice—Sheila—and whispered in her ear. The woman blurted out a shocked laugh before rising. He watched in shock as they left the room together. “Tim, you come back here! We’re leaving. I swear to God, I’ll go get Billie. If we have to hog-tie you—”

“Violence is not needed here,” Lily said in a raspy voice in the now empty kitchen. “Cooperation is. Look, I know some of the cases you’re talking about. I even probably know those FBI officers, and while I work with them, that’s not how I do things. People matter to me.”

His throat suddenly felt raw.

“The story I told you about the cult my mother put us in is true.” She took a deep breath, her green eyes bright with emotion. “I know what it feels like to be scared and vulnerable—like Tara and her girls. What I didn’t mention is that an undercover female agent brought it all down and saved me. She inspired me to join the FBI. So I’m not just a hotshot Fed going after a collar. Everything I do on a case is about protecting people and putting the monsters away.”

He had to look away from the pain in her gaze.

“I have a plan that will keep Tara and the girls safe. The Kellys will be caught and go away for a long time for a whole host of offenses—”

“Summer—Lily—stop.” He exhaled harshly. “I believe you care. But I can’t just go with feelings. How long have you been assigned to Boston?”

Her brows tensed. “Six months, but I’m—”

“My guys were born and raised in Southie,” he said in as even a tone as he could muster, “and they know what they’re dealing with. It’s our community. Forgive me for saying this, but you’re a rookie in our backyard.”

“I’m sorry you think so little of me.” She crossed her arms in a protective gesture. “I didn’t want to go here, but you don’t seem to be willing to give me the same respect I’m giving you. Robbie, Sheila and I are such good agents that you didn’t see us once on your tail the whole way here. And you didn’t suspect us on this fake vacation.”

He felt the slap of that on his face. “You’re right. Clearly, you and your partner took a few liberties with your undercover assignment. Because you used your feminine wiles to hook me and my brother—”

“I did not!” She fumed, fisting her hands at her sides. “I beat you at every sport we played. I purposely did not use the damsel card, not only because I knew it wouldn’t work, but because I wanted you to see me as an equal. Clearly, you’re too much of an ignoramus to do that.”

“Your partner already thinks I drag my knuckles on the ground,” he shot back.

“Well, Lieutenant, if the shoe fits.” She sucked in a breath. “We’re getting totally off track. I didn’t want to get personal.”

“Well, it is personal, dammit.” Calling it out there had something breaking free inside of him. He grabbed her to him, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. “You made me like you. Want you. Care about you. I’d decided to try and see you after this! How the fuck do you think I feel knowing this was just a job to you? And you say it’s not personal. Sweetheart, you’ve made me as raw as they come.”

Her face flinched. “It wasn’t just a job to me. I fell for you too! Do you think I liked lying to you? But you were lying to me too. Why can’t we just call it even?”

“Because your lies were bigger than mine.” He cupped her face, his fingers wanting to feel the burn from her touch. “And you kissed me!”

“You kissed me too!” She shoved him, but he didn’t move. “Lying about being a single dad isn’t a big deal? Oh, this is rich. You think you’re on some high horse. Well, buddy, you aren’t. But all this arguing isn’t going to get us anywhere. Because Tara is still in trouble, and I still have a case to close.”

He dropped her arms and took a step back. “You should have told me who you were before now.”

“I couldn’t, and you know it,” she argued, looking over as Tim and Sheila walked back in.

He turned to his brother. “Tim, I don’t know what is wrong with you, but we’re going. Now. Don’t make me coldcock you.”

His brother walked up to him while Sheila came and stood beside Lily, huddling in closer until all four of them were standing close. “What? Do you expect us to put our hands into the pile and say Go Team?” he scoffed.

“Not exactly.” His brother whipped the arm he had resting behind him and grabbed Robbie’s wrist. His reflexes dulled by shock, Robbie felt something cold and metal touch his skin before he heard a click, and then Sheila was grabbing Lily’s wrist. Another click sounded. He looked down in shock.

They were handcuffed together.

“What the fuck is this?” he shouted.

Lily rattled the cuffs, their arms grazing each other. “Sheila, stop this! What in the hell are you thinking? I am not going to be handcuffed to this blockhead.”

“Blockhead?” Robbie eyed Tim and Sheila as they backed away toward the patio door. “Tim, you are a dead man.”

“After our talk about your unique feelings for Lily, I’m risking it.” His brother gave him a lopsided smile. “Destiny brought you here—”

“Tara brought me here!” He started to move toward his brother, but when he jerked on the cuffs, Lily cried out in pain. “Sorry. I’m not usually the one in the cuffs.”

“On that we agree,” she said dryly. “Tim. Sheila. I know you two think you mean well, but you’re only making things worse.”

“Listen to your partner.” Robbie turned to Lily’s partner, desperation rising in his veins. “Come on, Sheila. Give us the key. You can’t cuff a police officer.”

“I didn’t technically, and honestly, I’ve cuffed law enforcement officers in my private life before. More than once,” she said with a smirk, opening the patio door. “Your brother keeps surprising us. He had the idea and executed it brilliantly.”

Tim had the audacity to take her hand and grandly kiss it. “Thank you, kind lady.”

Robbie glared at him. “You’ve totally lost it, Tim.”

Sheila clucked with her tongue. “No, he hasn’t. We both agree you two are perfect for each other. That’s why you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.”

“This is such bullshit,” Robbie ground out.

“You’re both competitive, highly intelligent, protective, and nice,” Sheila continued despite his outburst. “Okay, that’s mostly Lily. You’re in the same profession mostly, which means you get the job. And you live in the same city. Neither of you has dated much lately, wanting something more, and voila, here you are—practically a love match after a week.”

“This is so not happening,” Lily moaned.

Robbie thought about lunging for his brother, but from the set of his jaw, it was clear he intended to see this through. “I’m blaming your Shakespeare crap for this, Tim. You have one last chance to uncuff us.”

Tim lifted his chin. “I know what I’m doing. Besides, after thinking about it last night, I’ve concluded you and Lily have a shot at a very un-Shakespeare romance.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” he spat, feeling Lily straighten next to him.

“Yeah, I’m eager to hear this theory as well,” Lily replied, standing way too close to him for comfort.

“You said his works end in tragedy.” Tim’s blue eyes were warm but unrelenting. “While that disregards the fact that half his plays are comedies, all of his tragedies do end badly, and man, you have been living in one. Deceit. High drama. Intrigue. Good versus evil. But we don’t want your story to end predictably. I think you and Lily have a shot at a real happily ever after.”

He heard Lily’s sharp intake of breath beside him and ground his teeth. “That’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever heard. Tim, we need to get Tara out of here—”

“That’s where you’re wrong, O’Connor.” Sheila put her hands on her hips and practically breathed fire back at him. “Lily’s plan is flawless. Hear her out. Now, Tim and I are going next door.”

“Sheila, you’re my partner!” Lily said in a raised voice. “This is so not okay.”

“You’re both going to pay for this!” Robbie shouted. “I don’t like being handcuffed.”

“Who does?” Sheila quipped, giving Tim a gentle shove out the door. “And keep your voices down. You don’t want to wake Reagan and Cassidy or upset Tara. We’ll come back in a while and see what progress you’ve made. Work it out! And don’t leave the house. It would suck to have someone call the police after seeing two people handcuffed together fighting on the beach.”

With that, the patio door slicked shut.

His gaze swung to Lily. “So this is how the FBI does the job, huh? Nice.”

“It was your brother who must have instigated this.” She bit her lip, breathing harshly. “You are the most close-minded, obnoxious man I’ve ever met.”

Then she planted her hot mouth on his, rocking him back.