A Thousand Heartbeats

What everyone assumed: I’d survived the Island using only my wits and resources to carry through the long night of rain.

What everyone knew: Escalus had been severely wounded on the battlefield. After speaking with me briefly on the ship, a fever got the best of him, and he’d been incapacitated for days.

What no one knew: my father had received a wound of his own on the Island. His fever had taken him over much faster, making him talk in circles once he’d been taken to the ship, and causing him to slip into a coma before we made it home.

It was one thing for a prince to be injured or sick; it was another thing entirely for the king to be debilitated. So the extent of his condition had been kept secret from the masses, all of us hoping that he’d recover, or, at least, that Escalus would wake up soon.

When Escalus had named me regent, I thought that order might last for all of a day or two. But neither my father nor brother were waking up. What if they never did? I was honored to help—what a privilege to lead our people, if only for a moment—but I hadn’t been trained for this as Escalus had.

What was I supposed to do?

There was only one person in the world I wanted to ask that question to, one person who I knew would tell me the absolute truth. And he’d hold my hand as he did it, giving me the strength to follow through, no matter how painful the course ahead might be.

But I could never ask for his help again, never ask him anything again. It was one more brick on my shoulders, another thing making it harder to stand upright.

I covered my nose with my handkerchief as the doctor pierced the wound, draining fluid into a bowl. Despite how much it must have burned, my father didn’t stir.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. We’re not seeing any improvement,” a second doctor said. “It has simply come down to His Majesty’s ability to fight.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. “Then we have nothing to fear. His Majesty has never backed down from a battle.”

He returned my smile, bowing a little as he stepped away.

I twisted my handkerchief in my hands and walked to the side of my father’s bed, leaning over, close to his ear.

“Can you hear me? It’s Annika.” He didn’t stir. “Father, I need you to wake up. I have so many things I need to say to you, to ask you. Please come back.”

Like a child, I shook his shoulder, expecting a reaction. I was ready to cry, I felt so lost.

I swallowed and stood tall, hoping to present a facade of calm to the doctors and staff. I might be unraveling inside, but no one could know.

“You’ve already seen my brother today?” I asked, turning to the head doctor.

“Yes, Your Highness. His condition, too, is unchanged. But he is more stable than His Majesty.”

“I know you have been rotating physicians through, but I want someone stationed here at all times. The moment my father wakes, I want to be told, regardless of the hour.”

“Yes, Highness. But if His Majesty does not survive, the protocol—”

“It is treason to mention the king’s death, sir,” I reminded him firmly. “You will say nothing more on the subject. And you will come to me when he wakes.”

“Yes, Highness,” he repeated seriously, sinking into a respectable bow.

It was a strange thing to feel like my every request was law. But what was truly worrying was that a time might come very soon when my words would be law. What would I do if something important happened and I had no idea how to address it?

“I’m off to see my brother. Thank you so much, Doctor.”

I moved quickly, hoping that, somehow, if I moved fast enough, I’d catch him waking up. Turning the corner to Escalus’s room, I caught Nickolas on his way out. He paused, shifting his weight to one leg, looking a little weathered from the worry.

“Any change?” I asked as I came to a stop.

“None,” he replied, shaking his head. “The maid said he’s murmured something a time or two, but nothing intelligible. Though if he were to speak, she’d be the one to know—she hasn’t left this room for more than a few moments.”

I put a hand on his shoulder, sensing that he was holding his opinions back. “Good. Noemi is faithful and trustworthy, and I think it would comfort Escalus if he woke to a familiar face.”

“But who is tending to your needs? You have no proper maid these days. It’s unfitting; you’re practically queen.”

He had no way of knowing how repulsive that word, queen, was at the moment. To even think the word felt like wishing for the death of what little family I had left. Regent I could accept. Regent meant they would wake up.

“You needn’t worry,” I said. “I have several maids coming in to help, and as you can see, I’m still all in one piece. Now, I want to go in and see my brother with my own eyes. If you could, please go to the kitchens for me and approve the menus for the week.”

He gave me a quick, shallow bow. But what were such ceremonies now? “Your Highness, any job you want to pass to me, I will happily take.”

He moved on his way, and I quietly opened the door to Escalus’s room. As predicted, Noemi was there, just by his bed. She wasn’t fast enough, and I caught the tail end of the movement as she pulled her hand away from his.

When she turned and saw it was me, she hopped to her feet to curtsy. “Your Highness.”

“None of that,” I said as I crossed the room and embraced her. “Have you eaten? Slept?”

She let out a long sigh. “Yes. But . . . I want to be able to report the moment he wakes. I’ve been so afraid someone would force me to leave.” She looked over her shoulder at him, as if he might rouse at her saying so.

“Look at me,” I said. “If you tell them you are here at my command, no one can contest it. Use my name at will. Throw it around as much as you like. No one here would protect Escalus as you would.”

She let out a shaky breath. “I just wish he’d open his eyes. Whatever comes after, I can bear . . . I mean, for the sake of Kadier, of course. I just hope he comes back soon.”

“He will,” I said, more to convince myself than her. “Escalus said he was still here. He wouldn’t leave me stranded.”