A Tale That Could Not Be

The Midnight Pool would have just been a large puddle had Selvina been her proper size but that didn’t mean it was any less fascinating. Its waters were crystalline and so clear she could easily count all the pebbles at its bottom. Tiny, glowing creatures swam beneath its surface, some of them resembling fish, shrimp, eels, or aquatic insects. A trio of lilypads floated in the center of the roughly circular pool and a large frog sat on them, sleeping. Fairies of all ages fluttered around the pool. Some soaked their feet, others splashed and swam about, and others tossed lines into the waters, attempting to hook some of the glowing creatures. Somewhere a reed flute was playing, adding a hauntingly enchanting aura to the area.

Queen Titania took to the air, her magnificent wings flashing with multicolored light upon every flap. Thumbelina and Tinkerbelle each took one of Selvina’s hands and followed their queen. Cornelius flew behind them, staying close. The queen took them along the edge of the pool where it curved out of sight for a short distance, forming a small bay that was shrouded from view by thick bushes and ferns. She then guided them into the cover and then sat down on the rocky bank. Queen Titania slowly extended her legs and dipped her bare feet below the water’s surface.

Sighing with delight, Queen Titania said, “It has been too long since I came here. I rarely get to leave the confines of the castle.”

Thumbelina and Tinkerbelle deposited Selvina and mimicked the queen, each finding a pebble to sit on and then dropping their feet into the water. Cornelius sat nearby, leaning his back against the stem of a fern and remaining uncharacteristically quiet. Selvina, already feeling like quite an outsider to this kingdom of fairies, decided to join in on the feet soaking. The water was cool and crisp but comfortable and felt wonderful on her aching soles. At one point during the flight to Celustaria she had lost her last remaining shoe and it was only now that Selvina truly noticed.

“This is nice,” she said with a smile. She might not be rejoined with her friends from Pan’s ship but she had set a plan in motion and had made some new friends as well. Her future, though shrouded in mystery, looked a little brighter. She eyed the fairy queen. “Thank you for taking me here.”

Queen Titania nodded, a few strands of her elegant hair sliding down from her shoulder. “You are most welcome, Selvina Whitier. I am always eager to accommodate new guests.”

“I really appreciate that. If you don’t mind me saying, the king doesn’t appear to enjoy guests as much as you do.”

Titania grinned slightly. “You are correct. He is far more guarded and unwilling to trust than I am. As a king, especially the only king of an entire people, they are good values to have but it sometimes blinds him to the truth of matters. I knew as soon as I set my eyes on you that you were a friend and certainly not an enemy. I am confident that one day he shall see it the same.”

“Was he always like that?”

“Mostly. Puck used to lighten his spirit but that trickster couldn’t be trusted at the best of times and has not been himself for over a year. Now he hides in the shadows, sulking and wallowing in grief.”

“What happened to him?”

“Peter Pan happened, dear. He has taken the lives of cherished ones from everyone, even Puck. My beloved Nick Bottom was also a casualty of Pan’s malice. I miss him so…”

“Nick Bottom?” The name ignited tiny sparks of recognition in Selvina’s mind and the name Shakespeare surfaced as well. She remembered acting out a Shakespearian play the year previous but she had gone ill halfway through and had been unable to finish it. In that play, there had been a man named Bottom and a fairy queen that had fallen in love with him, as well as a character named Puck. Could these people be those characters? Considering she had encountered all manner of literary characters thus far she supposed it could be so. In any case, she enjoyed their company and desired to know more about them. “You…loved another man?”

Queen Titania smiled forlornly and then set her eyes on Selvina, holding her gaze. “It is true; I loved another man than the one I am wed to. Oberon is a good king and a decent husband but I would be lying to you if I said I am in love with him. It is no real secret and I feel no shame in telling you. Oberon knows and though I assume he is rather grateful that Bottom is gone, he is honorable enough not to show it. Nevertheless, it has driven a wedge between us that I believe will never close. For our people we will continue to rule to the best of our abilities but the little love that Oberon and I had for one another is long gone.”

Selvina furrowed her brow, her thoughts and feelings conflicted. Queen Titania had just admitted that she had been having an affair with her king and was shameless. Selvina wasn’t ignorant to the fact that most royal weddings were arranged for national benefit and hardly for love. Not every king and a queen loved one another and adultery was common, if not almost expected, but still, to have her just tell her so openly was somewhat of a shock. She glanced at Cornelius, who was sharpening his dagger on a small stone in his hand, hardly paying attention.

Queen Titania chuckled lightly. “No, my dear, Cornelius is indeed the son of Oberon and I. He is the greatest thing that happened out of that marriage and another reason that I continue to bear Oberon’s frequent tirades and fits of anger and frustration. I may not love him but Oberon will always have a place in my heart and for the fairies and all of Celustaria he is the best king they can hope for. He is brash, rude, rough, and sometimes repulsive but he is strong, loyal, and steadfast. I could never lead this kingdom without him.”

Selvina nodded, not really knowing what else to do. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“I only wish to inform you of who I am, Selvina. I feel that if I wish to know about you that you should know about me. Now, if you would be so generous, could you tell me of how you came here?”

Selvina took a deep breath, nodded again, and then told her everything. She started with her preparing for the biggest play of her life, suddenly popping up beside a bound unicorn which she then freed, being chased through the forest by hunters, meeting Red, and then everything that transpired after that. Queen Titania, Thumbelina, Tinkerbelle, and even Cornelius listened intently. Selvina told them every detail she could remember, including how Jack sometimes made her feel. She wasn’t entirely certain why she was spilling everything out but it felt good to do so. When her tale was done she wiped away the tears that had dripped down her cheeks some time during the telling and splashed her feet, blushing slightly.

“You have seen much of the world, Selvina,” said the queen. “I truly envy your freedom. Bottom would speak to me of such things sometimes. He would fashion grand tales about fantastic adventures and the wondrous sights we would see together. I admit that sometimes I believed him and that one day we would travel all of Wonderland and even Faeryum together.”

“Cornelius tells me the same things,” Thumbelina said, eyeing her husband, who was now lying on his back with his eyes closed. “I would love nothing more than to see it all.”

“As would I,” added Tinkerbelle.

“It isn’t always beautiful,” Selvina said to them, keenly reminded of Peter Pan, the treacherous island he had taken her to, and the moment she had been left alone on the top of a mushroom. “There are always dangers.”

“I’m not afraid of any dangers,” Tinkerbelle said with an expression of sheer determination on her angular face. “I shy away from nothing.”

“I may not be as brave as Tink,” Thumbelina started, “but even she would have been terrified of the toad I almost married.”

“A toad?” Selvina asked with wide eyes.

Thumbelina giggled at her expression. “Yes, a toad. His mother demanded that I marry him and then later on I was almost wed to a mole. I believe a beetle may have wanted me as his wife at one point too.”

“And then she found me!” Cornelius said as he approached the girls. He sat down beside Thumbelina, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and gave her a big wet kiss on her cheek. “It was a tough call between me and that mole but she made the right choice in the end.”

Thumbelina wiped her cheek clean and rolled her eyes. “Some days I wonder…”

Selvina and Tinkerbelle laughed and even Queen Titania chuckled for a moment. Selvina eyed Cornelius and Thumbelina and her thoughts soon drifted to Jack. Cornelius reminded her of that cocksure, crude, and blunt fool and it brought a stabbing pain to her heart. Would she ever see him again? Selvina wanted to believe that Jack would do everything his power to find her again but the truth of the matter was that they had only been together for a few weeks—if that—and they had only ever shared one real kiss. Selvina wished she hadn’t been so naively stubborn and refused to believe that she had had feelings for him. At the time she had been more concerned with going back home and had pushed aside any other thoughts. Now, however, everything was different. She missed her parents, her friends from high school, and her home in Toronto but she was slowly becoming accustomed to this world of magic and fantasy and perhaps even growing a bond with it. Her objective had been so simple at first: find the wizard Oz in the Ocean of Ice Peaks, wherever that was, and get him to transport her back home. He supposedly retrieved items from her world all the time thus if anyone knew of a way to get back there it was him. Now, however, getting back to her world didn’t seem like the most important task anymore.

Selvina knew she would miss Faeryum if she left it. She had a promising career in acting and a clear future waiting for her back home but here she had friends and the first man to ever share a piece of her soul with. Somewhere there was her world’s Jack waiting for her but here she already had him. He didn’t come with riches or connections to the acting world. He came only as he was, with a smirk on his face, a mess in his hair, and a glint in his eye. His life as a sailor was dangerous but he loved it and would probably never do anything else, no matter how much Selvina worried. In her world she had safety, security, and stability.

But she didn’t have Jack.

“I think we’re going to retire for the night,” Thumbelina said before she yawned loudly. “Oh my, sorry for that. I’m more tired than I thought.”

Cornelius pouted and whined. “Awww, does that mean no nighttime ritual?”

Thumbelina shrugged and pursed her lips. “It looks that way, dear. I’m sorry but I really need to get some sleep.”

Cornelius sighed sadly. “Ok….”

Thumbelina stood up and gave Selvina a wink. “It’s not what you think. He just likes it when I read him a bedtime story.”

Selvina stifled a giggle and glanced at Cornelius as he stood up, flexing his wings and arms. “A good rest is what this prince needs as well. I shall see you all tomorrow.” He then gave Tinkerbelle, Queen Titania, and Selvina a flourishing bow. Thumbelina said her farewells and then took the air, her buzzing wings nothing but a blur. Cornelius soon caught up to her and then took her hand in his. The two disappeared from view just as they started to kiss.

Selvina closed her eyes and reimagined her kiss with Jack. His lips had been so tender she could scarcely believe they were his. He himself had been so gentle that she worried she had been dreaming. It was a side of him she rarely saw but knowing it was there, hidden behind his bad jokes and incessant teasing, made her want him all the more. It was because of the rarity of those moments that they were so special. Every one of them counted and every one of them was something to cherish. Besides, Selvina had to admit to herself, some of Jack’s jokes were good.

Tinkerbelle reached out and placed her hand over Selvina’s. She offered her a warm smile as she turned to face her and then said, “You’ll see him again. When you do, make sure to never let him go, Selvina. Enjoy every moment you have with him because before you know it he might be gone from your life forever.”

Therein was the problem, however. Her reason for being with Jack was only circumstantial. He was one of Captain Hook’s deckhands and the only reason Selvina had sought out Captain Hook was so he could bring her to Oz. Once she was reunited with everyone again she could resume her journey to the wizard where she would then leave them, including Jack.

What do I do? Selvina asked herself, still aware that she hadn’t replied to Tinkerbelle. Taking a chance and working up some courage, she asked the question out loud, hoping an answer would come back to her.

Tinkerbelle glanced at the queen of fairies and then back at Selvina, her face sombre. “I do not know,” she said. “I’m sorry…”

“Your heart will have the answer,” Queen Titania offered. “Listen to what it has to say, Selvina, and your path will be clear.”

Selvina hated those kinds of answers. She frowned and felt her body warming with anger. “My heart doesn’t talk to me, your highness. Forgive my rudeness but it’s true. It’s just an organ that pumps blood throughout my body. It doesn’t have any special significance and certainly doesn’t affect my thoughts. You’re just saying something like that because you don’t have an answer to give me!”

Tinkerbelle frowned. “Selvina, you are speaking to a queen!”

Selvina met Tinkerbelle’s frown with one of her own but couldn’t hold it for more than a second before tears started to leak and she shut her eyes. She looked away and sniffed. “I am sorry, Queen Titania, I meant no offense. I really didn’t. I’m just…tired, I guess. Please, believe me… I didn’t mean to insult you or anything…” Selvina wiped her eyes and sniffed again, struggling to make sense of her feelings and emotions.

Queen Titania didn’t appear insulted in the least. She nodded slowly in understanding. “Get some rest, Selvina. Tomorrow I shall return you to your proper size so that one day you may once again be within the embrace of your lover’s arms. Love is a mysterious feeling, Selvina, and I may be centuries old but I am no less wise in its aspect than you are. Simply know that once true love consumes you it can never be defeated. Once it has enveloped your body, your mind, your soul, and every part of your being you will never want it to leave. Love like that only happens very rarely, perhaps only once, if ever, and if that is how Jack makes you feel then I recommend holding on to him. You may find love once again in your world but there is a chance it will never compare to what you shared here with Jack.

“On the other hand, I did just tell you that I do not know everything about love. In the end, the choice is yours, Selvina, and there is no way of knowing which the right one is. That is why I told you to listen to your heart. Believe that it can give you answers and it shall indeed.”

Selvina sighed. The queen didn’t understand. A heart couldn’t give answers. It couldn’t even think for itself. Selvina placed her hand on her left breast and felt the steady beating of her heart within. Was there a code to its rhythm? Perhaps that was how it communicated with her. Selvina attempted to discern it but soon gave up. There were no answers there.

There never were.