SWNOVELS A Spinster for the Earl: Chapter 8
Isaac paced back and forth in the library. As terrible as it sounded, he had stolen away in secret with beautiful women more times than he could remember. But something about this felt different. Something about this made his hands ache with anticipation and nervousness, and made his chest tighten. He had done this before so many times, but for some reason, it felt like the first time all over again.
He would hate for Lucy to think of him as anything other than completely relaxed and confident. He was confident in his ability to please a woman, but Lucy was different. Would he be able to hold her or kiss her the way she deserved?
He took a deep breath and spotted a bottle of Brandy on the end table beside the couch. The library was large. The walls were lined with books, and a cozy sitting area with two couches and an armchair surrounded a fireplace. At the far end of the room, two French doors sectioned off a secluded balcony. One of the doors was ajar, sending a cool breeze into the room. The curtains danced in the breeze. In the distance, Isaac could hear the chatter and laughter from the party.
He poured himself a snifter of Brandy and waited for a few minutes. He took a seat on the couch. Before long, the door of the library cracked open, and he stood up.
Lucy looked cautiously around the room before her eyes locked with his. Immediately, he felt that same surge of desire that he had felt for as long as he’d known her. She had a way of making him feel lightheaded and warm. It wasn’t just the alcohol.
“No one saw you?” he asked.
“I do not think so,” she replied. Her voice was quieter than it had been before. She was nervous, and he had to admit that he was thrilled at being the cause.
He stepped closer to her, and she stood very still, watching him approach her. “You never told me your decision.”
“I thought my answer was obvious,” she said. “I am here, aren’t I?”
He huffed out an amused laugh and stepped a little closer. She was within reach, and he fought every urge to just reach out and take her in his arms. “I need to hear you say it.”
She opened her mouth, but it looked more like a gasp for air and less like a response. “Pardon me,” she said, clenching her eyes shut. She started walking across the room hurriedly. “I need some fresh air.”
She pulled open the French doors and stepped out onto the balcony. Tentatively, Isaac followed.
As he peered through the door, there she stood, leaning against the stone railing of the balcony, looking over the silent grounds. No one was on this side of the house. They were completely alone.
She was beautiful, wearing white again, just like the day he’d met her. She looked angelic in white. Absolutely perfect with her soft and neat black hair and pale skin. And now, she stood surrounded by the navy-blue sky and all the stars above.
He felt that same nervousness again.
He had a terrible feeling that this would mean more to him than it usually did. She made him feel something that he had never experienced before. There was a part of him that knew that even long after they had gone their separate ways and Lucy pursued her independence, he would always remember her. That should have been enough to turn him around, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He needed her, even if it meant the death of him.
“I apologize,” she said, “I am just nervous.”
“I understand,” he replied softly. “If you need more time to think it over, then by all means.”
She closed her eyes, and her chest rose. She held her breath for a few seconds before she released it. She shook her head. “I have not changed my mind.”
He smiled lightly, hoping that anything he would say might bring her a little bit of comfort. “Listen,” he said, keeping his voice as quiet and gentle as possible, “we should not rush this. There is no reason to.”
Lucy had found herself so nervous that she imagined she would just have to get it over with. She never really thought that he might be patient with her. Now that the choice she had made seemed so real, she was beginning to feel anxious. It was always spoken of like it was the monster under the bed or the ghoul in the closet. She had been conditioned to fear it, which had only served to make her confused and guilty for wanting it so badly.
But she was twenty-three years old. Her desire was only natural. It had to be, or she wouldn’t feel this way. Hearing Isaac describe it so gently made her trust him.
She breathed in once more, stilling herself. “I want you to show me,” she whispered.
Isaac stared at her, his lips parted, his eyes dark and intense as they had been at the park. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She breathed in sharply, flushing with warmth as his fingers grazed her cheek. He took his gloves off and placed them into his pocket before he placed a hand on her jaw. The feeling of his bare skin against hers was intoxicating. The heaviness in the air was pressing down on her.
“Is that okay?”
She nodded, closing her eyes and contending with the lump in her throat. She wanted to look at him and see the expression on his face, but she was too overwhelmed. She already felt vulnerable enough, but looking him in the eye would have made her feel completely naked.
She reached out a trembling hand and touched his arm. It felt so strong. She trailed her hand up, tentatively feeling his shoulder, then up his neck, and into his hair until it was between her fingers. She had been so careful as if at any moment, she expected him to pull away, upset that she had even dared to get so close. But he didn’t. He seemed to only want her more. His fingers pressed lightly into her waist before slipping around to the small of her back.
She was starting to feel impatient. She leaned into him a little and dared to open her eyes. He had the hint of a smile on his face, as if making her feel restless was amusing for him. He leaned in and pressed the side of his nose against hers. Lucy gasped, struggling to breathe when he was this close.
This almost felt like a dream. Just a few weeks ago, she had never even thought that she would go on promenades with someone like him, let away hiding away, hoping that he would kiss her.
“Please,” she whispered.
Isaac closed the distance between them, and instinct took over. Lucy threw her arms around his neck, and he pressed his lips against hers. Immediately, she moaned into their kiss, which only caused him to pull her closer. His hands were strong, hugging her waist, seeking out the small of her back and roaming up the valley between her shoulder blades.
She had never been held like that, nor could she have ever imagined she would be. He held her like he wanted her, like she was the last glass of water in a world without rain, like he never wanted to let her go. His lips were soft, but his kiss was hungry. When he slipped his tongue inside her mouth, she gasped, immediately thinking he had made a mistake, before she moaned softly against his lips.
But none of it was a mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing. She thought she knew enough, but maybe she didn’t know much at all.
She felt him moving into her, and before she knew it, she was pinned against the railing. One hand softly traced her jaw, making her shiver, while his other hand held onto the balcony railing. He leaned his head to the side and pressed his lips to her neck.
A tremor raced down her spine. She arched her back and gasped, shocked by the feeling. It was as if she was standing in the glow of a fire, her body warming. He sucked at the skin and rolled his tongue in small circles. He kissed her from her ear all the way down to the neckline of her dress.
“Isaac,” she whispered.
He hovered there, in the crook of her neck, his hands settling on her hips. “Do you want me to stop?”
She caught her breath, trying to figure out how to put it into words. Her entire life, she had never known this feeling. He had made her skin flush and her body shiver, and her hips ache.
“No, no,” she replied, her voice barely audible under the weight of her desire.
She couldn’t stop herself from pressing a hand to his face and directing his lips back to hers. He tugged at her body, even though she couldn’t physically get any closer to him, his hands bunching up and wrinkling the fabric of her dress.
She couldn’t get enough of him. If there was no ball to return to, no family expecting her, and no nosy friends to wonder where she had gone, she could have stayed here all evening. Would she ever be able to disappear long enough to get enough? Could she ever even get enough?
Finally, he parted from her, his nose pressed against hers. He leaned his forehead against hers. Together, they caught their breath. Their hands continued to trace each other’s bodies.
“We should take this slowly,” he said. “I do not want to overwhelm you.”
She nodded, her chest feeling like a rose that was slowly blooming and filling her with bliss. “I am already thinking about our next promenade.”
“Me too,” he whispered, before pressing one final kiss to her lips. This time it was so soft and gentle that Lucy had to open her eyes just to assure herself that she wasn’t floating away.
“You should get back to the ballroom before anyone notices you are gone,” he said, pulling away.
Lucy nodded, smoothing her dress out and patting her hair to make sure it wasn’t too disheveled. “Goodnight, Isaac.”
She went back in through the doors, his hand on her waist until she stepped out of his reach. She slipped out of the library, careful not to be spotted.
Her entire life, she had thought of a kiss as a brief peck on the lips and nothing more. Already, she had experienced things she’d never imagined possible. She must have been more clueless than she realized, but rather than that making her feel nervous, she only felt excited about their next rendezvous.