A Soul of Ash and Blood (Blood And Ash Series Book 5)

I didn’t know if I should laugh or shout.

The very ill-behaved Maiden had snuck out again, and I only knew because I had entered her chambers when there’d been no answer to my knock. I’d been bored. Vikter was nowhere near, and it was the perfect opportunity to get closer to her. But her quarters were empty.

My suspicions concerning that door by the windows had been spot-on. It led to a dusty-ass, cobweb-filled stairwell that appeared as if it were mere minutes from crumbling.

I’d figured she would use the broken section of the inner wall to leave the castle grounds and then take Wisher’s Grove to wherever she planned to go. I’d been right, catching up to her just as she left the woods.

I didn’t stop her, which inarguably made me a bad guard and question my sanity because, yet again, another prime opportunity to make a run for it with her had presented itself, and I didn’t take it.

But I would have to get in touch with Kieran, which wasn’t exactly quick, and we’d still have to make it past the fully staffed Rise.

Besides, I was curious as to what she was up to. Was she going to the Red Pearl? Meeting with someone? I didn’t think that was the case.

I lost her for a bit once she entered the packed streets, and it took an ungodly amount of time to pick up her scent again near the Atheneum.

She was sneaking off to the city library, which was disgustingly cute…until I thought about the fact that she had to actually sneak out to go to a place as harmless as the Atheneum. This was her life. I felt bad for her.

Until I looked up and spotted her standing on a godsdamn window ledge that faced the Grove, too far from the very hard ground. I couldn’t even allow myself to fathom what in the hell she was doing as I entered the Atheneum. There’d been many scents, halls, and staircases to get to the floor I believed her to be on. And I’d finally tracked what I was sure was a lovely ass down to a private and quite chilly chamber despite the warmth of the other spaces. I zeroed in on the open window.

And that was approximately when my humor faded.

Making sure the door to the private chamber was locked, I stalked toward the godsdamn window.

“You still out there, Princess?” I called out. “Or have you fallen to your death? I really hope that’s not the case since I’m pretty positive that would reflect poorly on me since I assumed you were in your room.” I placed my hands on the windowsill. “Behaving. And not on a ledge, several dozen feet in the air, for reasons I can’t even begin to fathom but am dying to learn.”

“Dammit,” she whispered.

I fought back a grin, reminding myself I was angry with her. Rightfully so. She was endangering her life—and my plans. I leaned out the window and looked to my right. There she was, plastered against the stone wall, a book clutched to her chest. I raised an eyebrow.

“Hi?” she squeaked.

That was all she had to say? “Get inside.”

She didn’t move.

Sighing, I extended a hand. I swore to the gods, if I had to climb out there… “Now.”

“You could say please.”

My eyes narrowed. “There are a whole lot of things I could say to you that you should be grateful I’m keeping to myself.”

“Whatever,” she muttered. “Move back.”

I waited, wanting to take her hand just so I was confident she wouldn’t slip and fall to her death, but when she made no move to take it, I swallowed a carriage full of curses and stepped back. “If you fall, you’re going to be in so much trouble.”

“If I fall, I’ll be dead,” she quipped. “So, I’m not quite sure how I’d also be in trouble.”

“Poppy,” I snapped.

A second later, the lower half of her cloaked body appeared in the window. She gripped the upper windowsill, then dipped. She started to let go—

I snapped forward, wrapping an arm around her waist. Her sweet, fresh scent curled around me as I hauled her inside. The front of her body was pressed to mine as I lowered her feet to the floor. Keeping my arm around her, I reached for the back of her hood. If I were going to yell at her, I would do so while looking upon her and not at a shadowy space.

“Don’t—”

I yanked her hood down. Her features were still only partially exposed to me. Disappointment surged, but this was better than a veil. “A mask.” I eyed the silky strands of hair that had escaped her braid and fell against her cheek. “This brings back old memories.”

Her cheeks warmed as she tugged at my hold, getting nowhere. “I understand you’re probably upset—”

“Probably?” I laughed.

“All right. You’re definitely upset,” she corrected. “But I can explain.”

“I sure hope so, because I have so many questions, starting with, how did you get out of your room?” I said, even though I knew exactly how. I just wanted her to admit it. “And ending with why in the gods were you on the ledge?”

That stubborn chin lifted. “You can let me go.”

“I can, but I don’t know if I should. You might do something even more reckless than climbing out onto a ledge that can’t be more than a foot wide.”

Behind the white mask, her eyes narrowed. “I didn’t fall.”

“As if that somehow makes this whole situation better?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m just pointing out that I had the situation completely under control.”

She considered that being under control? She really did. I blinked, my amusement returning as I laughed. “You had the situation under control? I’d hate to see what happens when you don’t.”

Actually, I’d probably enjoy seeing it when she didn’t.

A shiver swept through her. I almost didn’t catch it, but the cloak had parted, and whatever she wore underneath wasn’t that thick. Gods, I hoped it wasn’t a damn nightgown again. Or maybe I did.

She wiggled, trying to slip free. It didn’t work. What it did do was bring our lower bodies even closer together. I bit back a curse when her soft belly brushed my pelvis, sending a sharp, pulsing bolt of arousal through me.

Poppy stilled, her breathing picking up. I didn’t dare move as we stood there, our bodies pressed together. Then, slowly, she tipped her head back, and those green eyes locked with mine. I inhaled deeply, catching the thickness in her scent. Fuck, my damn heart kicked heavily in my chest in response.

A hundred different things went through my mind as I stared down at her, waiting for her to try to pull away again. But she didn’t. Her attraction to me had control of her, and I knew that was good. I could use that to further gain her trust. The Rite was tonight, and things—things would be happening fast after that. Seduction was a need.

And it was also a want.

I lifted a hand, placing my fingers just below the curved edges of the mask. My jaw loosened at the feel of her soft skin beneath mine. I didn’t move my hand, and I should’ve because I knew she enjoyed being touched. Seducing her wouldn’t be hard, but I waited to see what she would do. That was important to me.

Poppy didn’t move away.

It wasn’t satisfaction that surged through me but pure, raw lust. I drew my fingers just below the bottom of the mask and then down over the corner of her parted lips. Gods, they were soft and pillowy.

I dipped my head, liking how her breath caught—how her sweetness increased. My lips followed the path of my fingers before I even realized they had touched her skin. Her desire thickened in the air as I tilted her head back. Our mouths were now mere centimeters apart. I could kiss her. I could likely do a hell of a lot more, but my chest was too tight.

So, I didn’t.

I couldn’t even say why. Because I needed to. I wanted to. I just couldn’t.

You care about her.

Cursing myself and Kieran for even putting that thought out there, I tilted my head, bringing my mouth to her ear. “Poppy?” My voice sounded thick to my ears.

“Yes?” she breathed.

I slid my fingers down the elegant line of her throat. “How did you get out of the room without me seeing you?”

She gave a little jerk. “What?”

I’d surprised her with that question. Disappointed her even, because she wanted my mouth doing something more than questioning her. I smiled at that. “How did you leave your chambers?”

“Dammit,” she muttered, tugging at my hold once more.

I let go this time, my body immediately missing the heat of hers and regretting the decision.

Her face flushed as she retreated and lowered the book she held, but her chin lifted. “Maybe I walked right past you.”

“No, you didn’t. And I know you didn’t climb out of a window. That would’ve been impossible. So, how did you do it?”

Poppy turned from me, raising her face to the cool air coming in through the window. “There’s an old servants’ access to my chambers.”

I smiled widely, enough that if she’d faced me, she would’ve seen all my lies.

“From there, I can reach the main floor without being seen.”

“Interesting.” I kept my voice level. “Where does it empty out on the main floor?”

She faced me. “If you want to know that, you have to find out for yourself.”

“All right.” I let that go since I already knew the answer. “That’s how you got onto the Rise without being seen.”

Poppy shrugged.

“I’m assuming Vikter knows all about this. Did Rylan?”

“Does it matter?”

Yes, it did. “How many people know about this entrance?”

“Why do you ask?” she shot back.

“Because it’s a safety concern, Princess.” And it truly was. “In case you’ve forgotten, the Dark One wants you. A woman has already been killed, and there has already been one abduction attempt that we know of.” I took a step toward her. “Being able to move unseen through the castle, directly to your chambers, is the kind of knowledge he’d find valuable,” I told her, even though it wasn’t valuable in the way I implied. I was more worried about the Ascended making use of the access.

She swallowed. “Some of the servants who’ve been at Castle Teerman for a long time know about it, but most don’t. It’s not a concern. The door locks from the inside. Someone would have to break down the door, and I’d be ready if that happened.”

“I’m sure you would be,” I murmured.

“And I haven’t forgotten what happened to Malessa or that someone tried to abduct me.”

“You haven’t? Then I guess you just didn’t take any of that into consideration when you decided to go gallivanting through the city to the library.”

“I didn’t go gallivanting through anything. I went through Wisher’s Grove and was on the street for less than a minute,” she argued. “I also had my cloak up and this mask on. No one could even see a single inch of my face. I wasn’t worried about being snatched, but I also came prepared, just in case.”

“With your trusty little dagger?” I grinned.

“Yes, with my trusty little dagger,” she retorted. “It hasn’t failed me before.”

“And that was how you escaped abduction the night Rylan was killed?” I asked another thing I knew, but we hadn’t spoken of. “The man wasn’t scared off by approaching guards?”

She exhaled loudly and a bit dramatically. “Yes. I cut him. More than once. He was wounded when he was called off. I hope he died.”

“You are so violent.”

“You keep saying that,” she snapped. “But I’m really not.”

I laughed again, enjoying how quickly her ire rose. “You really aren’t all that self-aware.”

“Whatever,” she muttered. “How did you even realize I was gone?”

“I checked on you,” I lied, dragging my hand over the back of the settee. “I thought you might want company, and it seemed stupid for me to stand out in the hall bored out of my mind with you inside your room, most likely bored out of yours. Which, obviously, you were since you left.”

“Did you really?” She took a deep breath. “I mean, did you really check on me to ask if I…I wanted company?”

I nodded. “Why would I lie about that?”

“I…” She looked away, her lips pursed. “It doesn’t matter.”

But I thought it might’ve.

I leaned against the settee. “How did you end up on the ledge?”

“Well, that’s kind of a funny story…”

“I imagine it is. So, please, spare no details.” I crossed my arms.

She sighed. “I came to find something to read, and I stopped inside this room. I…I didn’t want to go back to mine yet, and I didn’t realize that anything about this room was special.”

I followed her gaze to the liquor cabinet. That hadn’t given away that this was a private chamber?

“I was in here, and I heard the Duke outside in the hall. So, hiding on a ledge was a far better option than having him catch me here.”

“And what would’ve happened if he had?”

She shrugged again. “He didn’t, and that’s all that matters. He had a meeting here with a guard from the prison. At least, I think that’s who it was. They were talking about the Descenter who threw the Craven hand. The guard got the man to talk. He said that the Descenter didn’t believe that the Dark One was in the city.”

“That’s good news,” I forced out.

She glanced over at me. “You don’t believe him?”

“I don’t think the Dark One has survived as long as he has by letting his whereabouts be widely known, even by his most fervent supporters,” I replied.

“I think…” Her grip on the book she held tightened. “I think the Duke is going to kill the Descenter himself.”

I remembered what she had asked me. “Does that bother you?”

“I don’t know.”

I tilted my head. “I think you do, and you just don’t want to say it.”

Her lips pursed. “I just don’t like the idea of someone dying in a dungeon.”

“Dying by public execution is better?”

She stared at me. “Not exactly, but at least then it’s being done in a way that feels…”

My heart was kicking faster now. “Feels like what?”

Poppy gave a shake of her head. “At least then it doesn’t feel like it’s…” She glanced at me.

I was holding my fucking breath for her answer.

“Something being hidden,” she said.

I stared at her. She didn’t like how the Ascended handled things. I’d already suspected as much, but to see how uncomfortable she truly was with it was something…

Important.

And I would have to think about that later when it was quiet, and I could figure out what it really meant.

“Interesting,” I said.

“What is?”

“You.” I eyed the book she held.

“Me?”

Nodding, I then struck, grabbing the book.

“Don’t!” she gasped.

Too late.

I freed the tome from her grasp and stepped back, glancing down at it. “The Diary of Miss Willa Colyns?” My brows furrowed as I turned it over. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

“Give it back.” She reached for it, but I moved away. “Give it back to me now!”

“I will if you read it for me. I’m sure this has to be more interesting than the history of the kingdom.” Smiling, I opened the book, quickly scanning the page. One sentence stood out boldly.

He took me from behind, pounding the iron steel of his manhood into me.

My mouth parted as I blinked. I flipped a few more pages, my brows rising as I caught sight of words like nipples and salty come.

What in the world was she reading? Better yet, why was she reading it?

“What interesting reading material,” I remarked, glancing over at her.

Poppy looked like she wished to throw a blunt or sharp object at my face.

My grin returned. “Penellaphe.” I feigned shock. “This is…just scandalous reading material for the Maiden.”

“Shut up.” She crossed her arms.

“Very naughty,” I teased.

That chin went up as if on cue. “There’s nothing wrong with me reading about love.”

“I didn’t say there was.” I glanced down at a page that included the oh-so-romantic verse—Gods, I’m soaking wet just sitting here penning this. I looked at her. “But I don’t think what she is writing about has anything to do with love.”

“Oh, so you’re an expert on this now?”

“More so than you, I imagine.”

She pressed her mouth shut. Only a second passed. “That’s right. Your visits to the Red Pearl have been the talk of many servants and Ladies in Wait, so I suppose you do have a ton of experience.”

“Someone sounds jealous.”

“Jealous?” She laughed, rolling her eyes. “As I said before, you have an overinflated sense of importance in my life.”

I snorted, returning to skimming the book. Damn, this Miss Willa was a very…descriptive writer.

“Just because you have more experience with…what goes on at the Red Pearl,” she said, “doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is.”

“Have you ever been in love?” I asked half-jokingly, but as soon as the question left my tongue, it no longer felt much like a joke. My eyes narrowed. “Has one of the Duke’s stewards caught your eye? One of the Lords? Or perhaps a brave guard?”

Poppy shook her head as she stared at the liquor cabinet. “I haven’t been in love.”

“Then how would you know?”

“I know my parents loved one another deeply.” She toyed with the jeweled top of a decanter. “What about you? Have you been in love, Hawke?”

“Yes,” I answered honestly, my chest twisting. I then stared at the book, seeing none of the words as I thought about Shea.

Poppy looked over her shoulder at me. She dragged her teeth across her lower lip. “Someone from your home?”

“She was,” I said. “It was a long time ago, though.”

“A long time ago? When you were what? A child?” she asked.

I chuckled at the confusion in her tone, welcoming how her question made it easier than normal to tuck away everything related to Shea. I refocused on the page, giving a paragraph a quick read. “How much of this have you read?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Probably not, but I need to know if you got to this part.” I cleared my throat.

“I only read the first chapter,” she added quickly. “And you look like you’re in the middle of the book, so—”

“Good. Then this will be fresh and new to you. Let me see, where was I?” I ran a finger over the page, stopping at the halfway mark. “Oh, yes. Here. ‘Fulton had promised that when he was done with me that I wouldn’t be able to walk straight for a day, and he was right.’ Huh. Impressive.” I paused, sneaking a glance at her.

Her eyes were wide behind the mask, but perhaps I’d been wrong in thinking what Kieran had offered the night before would scandalize her.

“‘The things the man did with his tongue and his fingers had only been surpassed by his shockingly large, decadently pulsing, and wickedly throbbing—’” I chuckled. “This woman has a knack for adverbs, doesn’t she?”

“You can stop now.”

“‘Manhood.’”

“What?” Poppy gasped.

“That’s the end of that sentence,” I told her, glancing up. I beat back my smile. “Oh, you may not know what she means by manhood. I do believe she’s talking about his cock. Prick. Dick. His—”

“Oh, my gods,” she whispered.

I kept going. “His—apparently—extremely large, throbbing and pulsing—”

“I get it!” she yelled, unfolding her arms. “I completely understand.”

“Just wanted to make sure.” It took everything in me not to laugh as she inhaled deeply, holding her breath. “Wouldn’t want you to be too embarrassed to ask and think she was referencing his love for her or something.”

The air punched from her lungs. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“And I’m about to stab you,” she tacked on. “In a very violent manner.”

Since her hand was near her thigh, that was a real concern. “Now that, I believe.”

“Give me back the journal.”

“But of course.” I handed it over, grinning as she held it against her chest like a precious jewel. “All you had to do was ask.”

“What?” Her mouth dropped open. “I have been asking.”

“Sorry. I have selective hearing.”

“You are…” Her eyes narrowed. “You are the worst.”

“You got your words wrong.” Pushing away from the settee, I strode past her, patting her head. She swung at me—and fast, too—almost catching me in my back. “You meant, I’m the best.”

“I got my words right.”

Smiling too widely again, I went to the door. “Come. I need to get you back before something other than your own foolishness puts you at risk.” I stopped, waiting for her. “And don’t forget your book. I expect a summary of each chapter tomorrow.”

Poppy huffed but came forward, and not quietly. She stomped. “How did you know where I was?”

I looked over my shoulder at her, my smile fainter now. “I have incredible tracking skills, Princess.”