A Savage Life

I walked an expanse of probably two miles, carrying this bony lug across my shoulders, him proving himself to be a worse nuisance than Sabine, until my back gives out, and I drop to the ground, basically rolling this guy off of my back. As I lay there for a moment, the guy wakes up. He looks around, looks at me, and starts to shout hysterically, “Who are you? Where are we? Who am I?”

And then the man breaks down crying. I look up, sigh, and put my head into the dirt like an ostrich, hoping he’ll stop. Drum roll please, he doesn’t. He gets louder and louder to the point he’s practically wailing, and I get scared. His screaming is going to attract something and get us both killed. I take back everything negative I’ve ever said about Sabine, he was crazy and annoying, but nothing like him. This guy was just too much. I had to act fast or else he’ll call the whole darn Earth here if I don’t.

I leap up and tackle him, pinning him to the ground, and taping my hand over his mouth.

“Shut up, I know your name.” I lie.

“Mmmhmmm!” he replied in glee.

Quickly, a name strolled in my mind and I said, “Your name is Damien.”

He couldn’t have been more thrilled at the name. It was almost as if I had told him, “Congratulations, you won the lottery” and shook his hand. In fact, he threw me off, pinned me down, put his hand over my mouth, and lapped, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I’ll follow you around now.”

Oh no, not another one, and especially not him. God no! Not him! Ugh, I swear on my life that I am going to drop him off at the nearest town and run. Just run and let him be their problem because one of two things will happen. A, they’ll help him. Or B, they’ll put him in the ground like I should’ve done now that I give thought on it. Well, I mean I would, if it wasn’t the fact that throughout my life, Death has clung to me like a magnet to a refrigerator, and that was enough to attempt me to turn my attention and energy for the real deal. Out there. Where I have more problems than some amnesiac who likes to scream left and right and cause problems. Like now for instance, it had only been a minute since Damien had turned the tables on me and put me on the ground, staring me down with those brown, demented pools he calls eyes, and now he’s wandering around somewhere. WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! I’m free! I’m free! I’m-