A Rogue For Four Alphas

Chapter Fifty Seven

A complicated mix of emotions swirls inside me, and I'm both excited at the thought of Alpha Damon, Alpha Ian, Alpha Harry, and Alpha Erik, but also reluctant to talk about them

"They came into the coffe shop a couple times," I say noncommittally.

Just as I'm answering, Lily says, "Jasmine says the guys were bossing her around."

"What?" Lisa turns her full attention to me, looking for an explanation.

I scrape up the last bit of pasta and sauce on my plate, mostly to stall for time. "When it was time for me to leave, when I was coming to look at this apartment, they told me I needed to stay with them. They tried telling me it wasn't safe for Lily and me to live on our own."

Lisa's brows knit. "Why would they say that?"

"You didn't tell her?" Lily asks, sounding surprised.

"Tell me what?" Lisa asks.

"We've both been so busy," I say, "I didn't realize I hadn't told you." That's not entirely true. I don't like talking about my mother's nonsense so I usually keep it to myself.

"Our mother and Santos with his pack showed up at the men's house demanding money and threatening to kill the men. It was embarrassing and irritating, but they weren't threatening us. We weren't in danger." "And what happened?"

"I told them to leave, and they did, after the guys stepped in. Santos was scared, of course, because any one of the guys is big enough to easily snap him in half."

"So the guys were afraid your mother would harass you at your new apartment?

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"They insisted on coming with me when I drove Lily to school. They were planning to start coming to work with me, as if they were my bodyguards, and when I said I was moving out, they tried to stop me." My friend is still frowning. "Were they bossing you around in other ways?"

I think about my bedroom fun with Alpha Erik and feel a blush rise on my cheeks. I'm sure there must be examples I can give her, but as I think about it, nothing comes to mind. "Did they tell you that you weren't allowed to do certain things?" Lily asks.

"No, it wasn't like that, but living there was always supposed to be temporary. They were just giving me a place to stay while I searched for an apartment. They were ridiculous to make a big deal about me leaving." "Was it just because they didn't want you to leave?" Lisa asks.

I get up and start collecting plates. "I don't know. You know I don't do relationships. I told them that too."

My friend is watching me, not saying anything, and I'm compelled to fill the silence. "I don't get involved, because men are always bad news. Look at all of the losers our mother's been with," I say, looking at Lily.

"And I hate to say it, but look at Vincent. Sure, men have their good sides, but they're always trying to control you. Setting out rules and wanting you to toe the line. I don't need that."

"Is that what your men were doing?" Lisa asks, following me into the kitchen. "Laying down rules and whatnot?"

"Well... no, but-"

"I actually wish Vincent had ever seemed to care enough to be protective of me, or tell me he wanted me around. Sometimes I felt like I was in his way."

I give her a sympathetic look. "I was just getting to know these guys," I say. "If I were to spend more time with them, they'd probably get that way too."

Lily speaks up from the dining table. "What about grandpa? He was with grandma through sickness and health. Waited on her hand and foot until she died, and never said a mean word that I ever heard after their death tags was when our family scattered and we became outcast, rogues"

"Speaking of devoted men," Lisa says, "you should see the new show with her six partners. There are six of them, and they're like devoted puppies around her, if puppies were six feet tall with endless muscles. And they've been together a couple of years, I think. They have kids together."

"I've heard about them," I say. "That movie was something else!?"

Lisa nods. "My gosh, they are so good looking, too." Chapter Fifty Six

Deciding that I need to keep myself busy in an effort to stop thinking about the men, I decide to make lasagna for Lisa and Lily on my next night off. Lisa's surprised when I tell her that I'm cooking, since I did so very little of it when we lived together.

I don't know why I decided to make something Alpha Harry and Alpha Erik taught me to make. I'm filled with memories as I prepare the ingredients, and at one point, I'm almost tempted to call them when I have a question about assembly. I must get something wrong, because it doesn't look the same as theirs; I should've taken notes.

Lily helps me make a salad, and when the lasagna's out of the oven, I heat a loaf of garlic bread. I'm just about to take the bread out of the oven when there's a knock on our door

"Can you get that?" I call to Lily.

My sister looks through the peephole, then throws open the door. "Hi -what's the matter?"

Her abrupt change of tone alerts me, and I look over to find Lily in our entryway, tears streaming down her face

.

"What's wrong?" I ask, rushing over.

"I broke up with Vincnet," she says, crying more than actually speaking.

My arms go around her and I rub her back. I always thought I'd be thrilled if the two of them broke up, but it hurts my heart to see Jade so upset.

Lily closes the door and I steer Lisa over to the couch. "What happened?"

I retrieve a box of tissues from the bathroom and set it next to Lisa, pulling one out for her. After wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, she says, "He threw away my clothes!"

"What?" Lily perches behind me on the arm of the couch and both of us stare at Lisa in disbelief.

"I have more clothes than him, and when I couldn't fit everything on my side of the closet, I hung a few dresses on his side, next to his suit jackets. There was plenty of space there. It was about a week ago I did this, and tonight, when I went looking for my pink sundress, it was gone."

As she tells us her story, her tone changes from sadness to irritation, and rightfully so.

"I went to ask him if he knew where they were - he was in the den playing video games, as he usually is - and he told me he got rid of them. They didn't belong on his side of the closet, so he threw them away."

"What the fuck?" Lily says, her mouth falling open. I'm not really surprised, though this does reach a new low level of pettiness for that asshole.

"There was more too," Lisa says. "So many little things, but this was absolutely the final straw."

"So what'd you do?" I ask, wanting to hear that she destroyed some of his things, but I know that's not my friend's style.

"I told him we were through, and he just nodded. He didn't even stop playing his game." At this, she starts sobbing again.

"You did the right thing," I tell her, rubbing her back. "He didn't deserve you "I'm so pissed at him, but I keep wondering what I did to make him treat me that way. Maybe he wanted me to break up with him."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I say in my most soothing tone. "Remember how he wouldn't even give you space when you stayed the night? Most guys give their girlfriends a drawer or something. It wasn't you; it was him, one hundred percent."

"I should've seen the signs" she says, looking up, her nose twitching. "Umm, is something burning?"

I sniff the air. "Oh, shit! The bread!" The garlic loaf is a deep charcoal color when I pull it from the oven. "Ugh, this is ruined. I'm sorry."

Lisa and my sister have both followed me into the kitchen. "It's okay," Lisa says. "Is this lasagna? It looks delicious."

"I hope it's okay," I say, tipping the bread straight into the trash.

"Did you make this?" she asks. "I mean, I can see from the mess in your kitchen that it didn't come ready made, but wow-when did you learn to make lasagna?"

"I learned from the guys I was staying with. A couple of them were really good cooks."

"I didn't think I was going to have an appetite, but this looks really good."

We sit down to eat, and I'm glad to see Lisa digging in. I don't want her crying over that asshole anymore.

"Do you want to move in with us?" As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize I should've talked with Lily first, but Lily starts nodding in agreement when she hears my question.

Lisa's eyes go wide. When she swallows what she'd been chewing, she says, "I was in such a rage when I broke up with him, I didn't even give it thought

Do you have enough room here? I could move in with my parents, though that would feel like an admission that I've failed at life."

"We'll make room," Lily says, sounding excited at the prospect of Lisa joining us

And you can hang your clothes wherever you'd like," I say.

We continue with our meal — which turns out to taste pretty good, minus the bread - and I work at keeping Lisa spirits up while also reaffirming her decision to leaveVincnet. When we're almost finished, she turns the conversation onto me. "Are you still seeing those guys you were staying with?"

I start washing up our plates, and Lisa stands next to me with a towel in hand, ready to dry. "I know I'm in no position to be steering you toward a relationship, especially today, but have you ever thought about what you're afraid of?" "I'm not afraid of anything." The reply comes out without any forethought, and as soon as I say it, I know it's not true. "I just see things, and I want to avoid all of that hassle in my life. I like to keep things simple and uncomplicated." Lisa takes a dish that I hand her. "Are you saying that you don't think it's possible for anyone to have a happy relationship with a significant other? One that might not be perfect, but that brings much more good into their life than bad?" "No ... I'm not saying that." I scrub hard at an invisible spot on a dish.

But you don't think it's possible for you?"

I hand her the rinsed dish and start on another, feeling more called out than I ever have before.

Lisa lets me process my thoughts without pushing me for an answer, and I appreciate it. Eventually, I say, "I've had the shittiest of examples, Lisa. My mother is defined by whatever man she's with at the moment. They're the sun and the moon for her; she does whatever they tell her to do, they treat her like crap, and then they're gone.

"She always puts them before us. She calls me a little slut and she locked Lily in her bedroom, because all she cares about is whatever asshole she's with at the moment."

"Oh, Jasmine." The evening started out with me comforting Lisa, and now she's the one rubbing my back, telling me that everything will be okay.

"Not all men are like the ones your mother finds, and you are never going to be like her. Not ever. But I think you might be overcompensating. By trying so hard to avoid her mistakes, you're hurting yourself in the process."

I get back to the dishes, still thinking, and Lisa gives me the time to think about what she's said. When we're almost done with the stack, she says,

"There really are good men out there. I don't know your four, but I could see they made you happy." I turn to look for Lily, to make sure she's not nearby. "We had a lot of great sex," I tell Lisa.. "A lot."

She smiles. "And do you think there could be more than that? More than just sex?"

For me, there definitely could be. I have to be honest about that. I miss them terribly, and it's not just the sex. I miss joking with them, playing games, spending time with them, and I miss just simply being in their presence. I haven't felt right since I left them.

"Maybe," I say. I have no idea how they feel. Sure, they didn't want me to leave, but it could be all about sex for them. They may love the fact that I'm the type of girl who doesn't want a relationship or commitment."What's the worst that can happen?" Lisa asks.

"Do you think that if you went to their house again, they'd lock you up and never let you leave?"

"No," I say, laughing, though as I think about it, her worst-case scenario doesn't sound bad at all. They've already tied me up, and I liked it a lot.