A New Night

Salt on the Acrophobia

I stepped into a small cloth loop connected to the self-propelled hang-glider—resting close to the wall’s ledge, overlooking mountains and even the massive Gods’ Wall below. Each gust of wind now felt like a threat to my existence, no matter how much I tried to tell myself that there was no way they could drag away my hulking metal form. Against my better judgment, I looked off the edge of the Sky City … Nueva Esperanza. The jungle and ocean were all still below. Another gust of wind made my toes clamp involuntarily to the stone wall I stood on.

Meanwhile, Dro mimicked me and placed Scraa in a second loop to his side. Never having flown in their lives, they still seemed readier than I was.

“Bassella?” Romalla asked as she nestled into one of the baskets on my glider. Her voice sounded like she was forcing it to be empathetic, likely to cover up her worry over the incoming danger.

“Is she frozen?” Dro asked.

Romalla nodded affirmatively, taking another nervous glance at the oncoming waves of drones.

Dro pulled his glider next to ours and rested his hand on my shoulder. It was a pleasant surprise, especially coming from him. “Then I will begin to fulfill my promise to keep us all strong.” Suddenly his hand was a force I was unprepared for, even having fought Hunters. Dro shoved and then grabbed at one of my feet with what I only guessed to be his tail.

“Dro you fuh-ah!” I screamed as loud as my voice box would allow. Wind whipped past my face as I fell.

Romalla gave a victorious screech.

My senses became dizzied and disoriented as I simply felt the drop. Then, vaguely, I heard a musical note play from the control panel in front of me. I felt the glider begin to shift and move. And then … it caught the wind! My all-consuming terror cleared just a bit, and I realized that I was soaring over the mountain.

A black blur passed beneath me. Dro and Scraa sped forward and did a barrel roll… a barrel roll! Watching this made me sick, so I did my best to stare straight into the pink Eastern sky.

“Good job, Bassella. You’re flying like the real Night Person you are inside,” Romalla shouted over the wind and tapped my metal hand gently with her claw.

I let myself smile and enjoy her praise … just a little.

Time passed as we flew, though I tried not to think about how much. I tried to not think about anything at all. I just followed listlessly behind Dro’s glider with mine. My focus stayed on the clouds until they slowly took on a darker color.

A few snow flurries danced through the sky around me, though much fewer than when we were right over the mountain. I imagined that they melted long before the vapor cascaded down upon the jungle below. Below … where I finally let myself look and see … many small Hunter camps. Not only were these definite clearings, only visible from directly overhead, but tiny tendrils of smoke came from them—mixing almost immediately into the fog.

There were hundreds of these camps, maybe thousands. The second largest, after the stone city of the Queen, contained the barely visible steel skeletons of skyscrapers. It was only a matter of time before all the Hunters would have to deal with one another.

Only a few days before, I would have said that they were all going to kill each other. Seeing how Dro, Scraa, and even Gar could change and grow, I realized how wrong I would have been.

When we finally passed over the Gods’ Wall, the wind was a little turbulent. However, we cleared with enough space to avoid the violent gusts of air immediately above them. After that, we flew over an ocean reflecting the grays, purples, and oranges of the sky above it.

For the first time in what felt like a while, I could see the islands, the sandy beaches, the small trees, and what looked like the little villages of the Night People. I felt my tension further subside; I could even smell and taste the salty sea air.

Dro and Scraa, now flying to my left, looked even more amazed. Scraa began pointing at the plants growing off the Gods’ Wall, the bloodbags on the beach, and the many islands that freckled the ocean.

We glided in exhausted silence for several hours, until the sea reflected the image of what Romalla would have called my sister Moon and her stars. We kept the Gods’ Wall to our right and continued to follow it South, back to where our journey began. At our current pace, I thought the trip could be made in less than a day.

When I turned and noticed that Scraa was asleep and that Dro’s eyes were half-closed, I knew we had to land. Even Romalla’s eyes were closed, and she drew in heavy breaths. Dro looked at me and nodded, indicating that he had heard my thoughts. We both descended toward a rather large and empty beach.

Romalla must have sensed the change in altitude or pace because she woke up, gave a hearty yawn, and then licked her lips. She looked at where we both caught a glance of flying Night People! Her eyes widened, and she said, “I have cousins who live down there; we’re really close to home! We could be there by morning.”

I looked in the direction of the other glider. “Yeah, but I’m personally against sending Dro and Scraa to the first flight-related death in Hunter history. I think we need to rest. Besides, you look hungry enough to try to eat me.”

Romalla’s stomach gurgled, but she wrinkled her face. “You look very unappetizing.”

“That’s a bit harsh,” I replied, not really taking offense at the comment.

Romalla, however, looked at me and widened her eyes in surprise. “I didn’t mean it that way! And besides, are you telling me that you would want me to eat your blood and find it appetizing? I think that would be dreadful, personally.” Her face puffed a bit, and she seemed uncharacteristically reactive.

I giggled and replied, “It’s okay; I don’t want you to eat my blood.”

“Oh, yes,” Romalla said and awkwardly began to stretch her wings.

I tried to spare her any more of the unexpected embarrassment by looking away as I prepared my glider to land. That was when I realized that I did not know how to do that … and we were very close to the ground.

I pulled back on the speed lever as far back as it would go. This worked to slow us considerably, but we were still going too fast. Maybe if I pulled up a little? In response to pulling up on the joystick, the glider went nose up. We ascended … about five feet before falling backward. The fall was a horrifying ten feet down, followed by a small explosion of sand.

Dro landed about fifteen feet ahead of me without a problem. Then, he pressed the button that folded his glider and stuck it into the sand like a surfboard. How … the hell …

I huffed and then moaned miserably as I sat upright in the sand.

Dro and Scraa approached just as I was able to stand up, shake the sand off me, and clumsily fold my own glider. I looked around and noticed that the beach was now quite empty. It took several minutes of looking before Dro noticed and pointed out fragments of moonlight reflected at us in pairs. Pairs of eyes—peering from where they hid in the rocks, trees, and bushes.

When I tried to approach them, they immediately took off and flew rapidly in the opposite direction—all the way until they were gone from the small land mass altogether. I shouted, “Hey, don’t go! We were just stopping to rest.”

Romalla shrieked into the air. “Do not run away!” However, her words seemed to have no effect in bringing them back.

Dro gave me a look. “This place is now filled with the stink of fear.”

Romalla did not respond; she just looked in the direction they had gone with her brow furrowed.

“Romalla thought we were demons,” Scraa said, looking like he was thinking hard about the matter. “Maybe they did too?”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure. “Or they thought that I was a Golem! That would be pretty scary, I imagine.”

Romalla closed one eye just a bit and shook her head. “But we don’t need to flee across the sea like that. There isn’t a way for them to reach us with nets when we’re high enough up the Gods’ Wall.”

Dro studied her for a moment and then said, “Maybe something happened while you were gone … something worse than nets.”

I shuddered and then simply stood there as the weight of the possible implications seemed to drag on my shoulders. The others did the same, and we each glanced more than once in the direction of the Island.

A few minutes later, Dro finally broke the tense moment with a mundane tone as he said, “I need to attain food for us.” He looked around casually at what there was to be had around us. Finally, his eyes narrowed on one of the bloodbags.

“The bloodbags are quite delicious,” Romalla said, moisture appearing in the corners of her mouth. “This village won’t be affected if we just take one. The dragons eat them all the time. I will help you pick one out!”

Scraa’s eyes lit up.

The three of them crouched and then crept toward a bloodbags that was a bit more isolated from the rest.

I looked away before I could see anything too gruesome. Instead, I wandered up the beach until I found some very powdery sand—without oats or other plants to make it rough. I sat down and tried not to listen to the muffled, wet tearing that went on for many minutes.

Dro eventually returned with long strips of meat. His eyes seemed dull and distracted as they had been. I thought about whether I should pry into this, whether Dro would talk, or if he would resent me for nosing into his private business.

After a few minutes of deliberation, I finally stood and asked, “Something … uhm, eating at you?” I stepped by his side so that we were both looking out over the same expanse of dark ocean.

“I have no parasites,” Dro replied, completely serious.

“I mean, is something bothering you?”

Dro paused … and finally nodded. He said, “I cannot let Scraa find out that I fathered him.”

“I ...” I said, trying to figure out what to say and failing. “Why?”

Dro sighed. “When I was in the Alpha Predator’s psychic prison, I was transported back to when I was his age. I again saw the Hunter who birthed me. She taught me the ways of strength and nobility. Except, I did not learn strength for the sake of strength itself as I thought I had. I desired for her to see my strength and that I was like her ... and worthy of my birth. Worthy of … her care.”

I remained silent and waited for a moment as he seemed to gather his thoughts.

Dro’s eyes seemed dead as he waited, with the moon producing a haunting glow in them. “She left for a while when I was younger than Scraa. It was to initiate my final test of survival into adulthood. At the time, though, I sometimes imagined that she had left me to die because I had not learned her lessons correctly. Of course, the truth was that she was honoring the old ways of our people. When the loneliness and hunger became too much to bear … I deceived myself into imagining that she was in the jungle watching me, protecting me from dangers that I could not have faced alone. Such a thought was comforting.” He was quiet again; this lasted several minutes.

Finally, I said, “Scraa could still have a father who is there for him.”

“It’s too late,” Dro said, an edge in his voice. “I tried to keep him from being born. Then, when I failed, I abandoned him and hoped life with his cruel mother would make him strong where the wilderness would not. I now realize that my neglect was an act of self-deception. I … should have stolen him and taught him the old ways.”

“But … if you don’t tell him, he won’t have a father at all,” I replied, concerned for them both. It all seemed so easy to me. Dro seemed to care way more than my parents had, though that was an admittedly low bar. Still, why couldn’t he stop being in his own head for two seconds and just let himself and Scraa have something that would make them both happy? It wasn’t as if Scraa didn’t already clearly look up to him as a father figure.

Dro sighed. “But what if he imagines a father secretly watching out for him? Just as I had imagined my mother doing. If he has this father of fantasy … it is a better father than I would be. I can’t take that away from him.”

Another long moment of silence passed over us.

“I …” I tried to say, the words not initially coming to me. “I … uhm, think he would be happy with you … as his father. I would have.”

Dro seemed caught off-guard by this. He nodded at me uncomfortably but didn’t say anything else. The conversation was over, and my gut told me that it was best to give him some space. But, before I left, he said, “Before … when I first met you. Your thoughts were easy to read … when you weren’t making that horrible noise inside of it. But I still had difficulty reading you because there was this … empty spot where you were supposed to be. Sure, there was a general shape, but there was nothing solid there, just an emptiness. It was like your hollow body—a frame without a core that I could see.”

I cocked my head but continued to listen.

Dro continued, “I thought that what was missing were your memories. But when we found you again in the city of the Alpha Predators, I saw the memories that had been previously submerged within you, too deep to have seen before. They were like the boxes that the Alpha Predators put our weapons in … tucked away in the corner of the room.”

I thought for a moment and then asked, “So, I’m now a hollow frame but with boxes in the corner of my mind?”

Dro shook his head. “There’s something in there now, something that has nothing to do with those boxes. A … solid core of energy that radiates the essence of what you are.” He put his hand on his chin and then shook his head as if putting away the thought for later.

I smiled—pretty sure I knew what he meant. I had never expected something as simple as some pronouns and a pink ribbon to fill the pit that was my lack of identity. But my transness was so much more than that. It was freedom—a trellis from which my sense of self could bask in the warmth of light and finally grow.

To give Dro his space, I walked toward where Romalla was sitting in the sand. She was looking up over the ocean. Her belly looked full, and she lazily licked some blood from one of her claws. There was a half-moon out, but I could only see its silvery light through a stubborn cloud that had moved in front of it. I sat down beside her.

Romalla looked at me and said, “I keep thinking about the Night People and how they vanished when we arrived. There is something that’s not right. I can feel it in my head, almost like a message from the Spirit Realm. I know now that there aren’t gods who send messages to us on purpose. But … I still feel it.”

“We call that intuition and … I think that it’s onto something,” I said with a heavy sigh. For a moment, I thought about the golden mask on the Golem who had killed Steelface. Its eerie smile … it sent a shiver through my body. “We’ll get back to the Island soon.”

Romalla nodded.

I scooted closer to her and watched the wind push the clouds across the sky. I thought that the dark and eerie clouds that began to block out the peaceful stars had their own sort of brooding beauty. Like Jackie had told me, life had an undeniable beauty, even in the darkest parts.

Romalla was the one who spoke next. “When we were in the mind prison, you weren’t in the Sky City or some other places of their people. You were on the Island.”

“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “I guess that means I’m definitely not one of them—a god or a member of the Triumvirate.”

“No, you’re a Night Person,” Romalla said, her eyes strangely large before she looked away and tried to hide it. There was something strange in the way she had spoken, though. Like she had meant something that she didn’t fully want me to know. Had she experienced something more in the calming program than what she felt ready to share? It wouldn’t surprise me; we all had. Romalla tried to recover, saying, “I mean us, you are. To me.”

I smiled and playfully asked, “Even if I don’t like blood or heights?”

“The Night People ears make up for it,” Romalla said, pointing at my head as she bared her teeth into a small smile. “Also … I saw a large round nest on the ground of your perfect Island. One that you could have fit inside. I will make sure that we build a nest for you as well, even if you do not need to sleep.”

I smiled again and lifted her with my hand, which began to warm. Now that I knew that I was an Educator, I thought maybe this feature was meant for being able to keep a baby warm. The idea of this caused some … maternal longing to swell inside me. I tried not to think of that or the growing list of things I missed by being in the wrong body.

I just held Romalla contentedly as she drifted to sleep—forcing myself to enjoy the quiet.