A Love Restored

(Then)

I poured some cake mixture into a cake tin, and then did the same with the other two, the size of the tins getting smaller as I progressed. It was a hot summer day, late August. Wiping the sweat on my brow on my sleeve, I looked up at Hannah, our cook. “I hope it turns out well.”

She smiled down at me. The cake was Hannah’s recipe. Truth be told, she had done most of the work. But I had participated considerably. I was a decent cook myself, but I didn’t want to risk it today. Everything had to be perfect today. Just perfect.

And it was going to be, I could feel it.

Felix was leaving the next day. For four whole years. Sure, he’d visit, but it wouldn’t be the same anymore. I wished I could go with him. We’d planned it before, when we were younger. We always knew it would happen. Felix and I wished everyday that we had been born in the same year, so we could go to college together and one of us wouldn’t have to be left behind. But he had to be older. I still had two years of high school ahead of me, and Felix had gotten into Princeton.

When we’d been 10 and 12, we would talk about how Felix could take two gap years, or that I could finish high school early, or even move to whichever city he went to, and finish there. It had made sense at the time, but as we grew up it seemed more and more impossible. No matter how much you planned stuff, life always got in the way.

But it would be fine. Right?

Anyway, I didn’t have much time to worry. It was Felix’s going away party tonight. I’d planned it all for him. The cake was for him. Black forest, his favorite. His friends were going to come over, and they’d helped me arrange for booze, and Hannah was making party foods as well. It was going to be fun.

I would worry tomorrow, after he left. That’s all I’d do for the four years he would be there. Worry. And wait.

It was hard to explain Felix and my relationship. We were friends, I think. But I didn’t like that word. I had known Felix forever. He was there in the hospital when I was born. With his mother, my mom’s best friend. He was just two and he didn’t remember it, of course, but he was there, it counted. And we’d never been apart since. He’d been my friend in primary school, my protector in middle school, and then everything else in high school. Everything was a good word. He was my…everything.

My friend Tilly said he was my boyfriend. But I hated that word, and he had never used it, not once. But I went to his prom with him. And he had never dated anyone else, and didn’t let me, either. Not that I wanted to. But he had never kissed me, either. There was that part. If he would just kiss me, I would know where we stood. I’d even seen it coming, so many times. Like that time in his hot tub, or that time on the rooftop after I’d been crying. But it never happened.

“Princeton is a great school.” Hannah said, nonchalantly. “Felix will make lots of new friends. And he’ll meet smart girls.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat. That was another fear of mine. Girls. What if he went there and fell in love? What if she hated me and told him not to speak to me ever again?

Noticing the expression on my face, Hannah chuckled. She patted my head lightly. “Don’t you worry, Miss Flora.” She teased, “That boy is obsessed with you.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s just my friend, Hannah.”

She smiled. “Of course.”

In about two hours or so, the cake was ready. I wrote a short and simple ‘Miss you already’ on the top layer. I hoped he would like it. Hoped he wouldn’t find it cheesy. Putting the cake in the fridge, I ran to my room and took a quick shower, then wore a cute pink summer dress. Felix liked pink on me. He said it made me look like a pretty flower.

“Hey! Would you like to come hang out?” I asked cheerily. I sounded giddy. I didn’t want to give myself off.

“Hurry!” I announced. “He’s on his way.”

He had made his way all the way up to my front door without noticing the ruckus to the side, in the yard. I opened up before he had the chance to ring the bell. “Hi!” I said casually.

I shrugged, “Went out.”

He cocked his head to the side, staring at me. “With who?”

“You don’t know them.” I said, “Wanna hang in the garden?”

He shrugged, “Whatever you want, Flora.” I grinned and grabbed his hand, walking us to the garden. Still dragging him behind me, I nonchalantly pressed the switch for the lights to come on. Everything lit up, and suddenly everyone was in view. And the music had started. It was perfect.

“Surprise.” I whispered to Felix, smiling at him.

He hugged me so tightly he lifted me off the ground. I giggled, wrapping my legs around him, melting into his embrace. In the chaos of the day, I had really forgotten how much I would miss him. The way his arms felt around me, the distinct softness in his voice when he spoke to me, the mischievous look on his face before he did something he knew annoyed me.

“Thank you.” He whispered, before lowering me and making me stand on my feet again. He ruffled my hair, grinning down at me. “You’re so cute, Flora.”