A Girl Nobody Wanted

“Him!” I couldn't even breath... Did he really say “HIM? I was staring at him like I was in a dream... How is this even possible? “You... Did you...Did you say... HIM." I managed to ask. “What?” Luke asked confusedly. He was so attached to his own thoughts. I think he didn’t even notice what he said... “You... You said... I just want to love him to my death... You said him" I said. “Ah!” he said. I wish there were more light inside the car. I couldn't read his facial expressions. But his voice didn't sound like he said something he shouldn't... “Tell me, Luke... Did you really say so, or did I hear it wrong?” I asked. “sarah... you heard it right..” he replied after a small pause. “So, you...” I didn't know how to complete my statement... “Yes... 1 am Gay... he said. God! Is this a dream? How can he be Gay? How both Shane and Luke can be gay? I have never noticed any sign that they can be gay... Forget about Shane... I can never understand him, and he has a very mysterious character... But my Luke... He is always. open... I couldn't even believe he had a secret this huge... “Other than Jake, you are the only one who knows about this.." he said. “Thank you for trusting me, Luke... I replied. Then there was an awkward silence... None of us talked for some time. “sarah, are you uncomfortable with me being..” he asked, breaking the silence... “Are you mad?” I said immediately, holding his hands. “You are my friend... You have done so much for me... I don't care about you like girls or boys... 1 just want your happiness that's all...” I added. “I am so glad that I could share this with you... I don't really want to keep this a secret, Sarah. But I don’t want other peop treating me different.” he said. “But one day, you have to come out, Luke.."l said. “I don't know, Sarah... Maybe one day, when I earn my own money, and I am stable..” he said. My poor Luke... Maybe his parents are not open-minded. Sometimes he is scared of them. That's why he keeps this a secr I didn’t want to dig deep into that and hurt him more. “Luke, what about 'him’?" 1 asked. “Him?” “The person you love..." I said. “Ah him.” He smiled. “Who is him?” I asked. “I told you, Sarah... That is my secret... I am sorry, but I can't reveal it” he said. “At least tell me, can you keep hopes for him that one day he will return to your feelings... I asked. “No.." he said immediately. “Why?” “Because he is straight... He loves another girl, Sarah... Not a guy. He loves that girl so much... He can never love anyone else... He loves her that much...” he said. “You talk like you know him pretty well. Is he a close friend to you?" I asked. I didn't really want to make him uncomfortable. But I can’t just let him suffer as well... “Enough questions... Time to go home...” he said, laughing. “Don’t try to avoid me, Luke..”l said worriedly. “lam not avoiding you, Sarah... But I really don't want to talk about him. He is so happy with that girl in his life. 1 have never seen him, this happy for my entire life... I don’t want to destroy it, and I will never destroy it... So, let's forget about okay." he said. “I... 1 just can't bear it, Luke... I want you to be happy...” I said. “I know it, Sarah... You stay happy always, that will definitely make me happy..” he said, patting my head gently. I hugged him again. After saying him goodnight, I got down from the car. “sarah...” Luke said when I was about to close the door. wes “Please don't tell Jake that I have someone I love... You know about him. He will worry about that way too much...” he saic I nodded. Then I closed the door, and he left. I walked home, trying to process everything. I was about to open the door when Shane parked his car in a hurry and honk I turned around to see why he is honking this much. He asked me to stop showing his hand. So, without opening the door, I walked towards his car. He got down and walked to me. “What did you do in his car?” he yelled at me. “What?” I was startled when he yelled. “What the hell you did in Luke's car? You were in his car f or that long... I am asking what the hell you did?” he yelled agai “Nothing... Just talking...” I said, trying to calm myself. “Really? What you two have that much to talk about?” then he asked. “Nothing specific..” I replied casually. “Did you..." he asked, holding my hand tightly. “Did you lie to me... You really have an affair with him?” he asked. “You are hurting me, Shane... Let me go...” I said, trying to remove my hand from his grip. “First answer me...” he yelled. “I don't have an affair with him, Shane... He is my best friend... That's all..” 1 yelled at him. “Hmm... he said, releasing my hand... “Stop trying to hook him up with other girls as well, or you will have no teeth left to eat...” he threatened. “What?” “Don’t think I don’t know what you are doing... I have eyes everywhere... You tried to hook that b**h up with Luke, didn't you?" He is talking about Sally... No need to tell I was really surprised by how he knows about that. “She is not a b***h, Shane... She is a good girl, unlike the girls you sleep with...” I don't know how I got so courageous to say it to his face. Then he slapped me... “Don't ever try to talk back to me... Know your fu**ing place..” he screamed. “I know my place, Shane... You need to know your place too... You are never going to win him by acting like an animal. He hates you...” I yelled at him, holding my aching cheek from one hand. Then I ran to the house and ran all the way up to my room and closed the door. I was so afraid that he would follow me... But he didn't... I know he is my brother... But I was so happy that I could at least tell that much to his face... Now, Luke being gay, Shane has a better chance with him. But with his current behavior, he will never ever win Luke's heart... He should to at least understand that, putting his ego away. “I... 1 just can't bear it, Luke... I want you to be happy..." I said. I fall on to my bed... My head was aching not because of the hard slap I just received from my twin brother, but because o all the information, I need to process... I remembered Sally... Oh! Poor Sally... I had no idea how should I tell her that she will never have a chance with Luke... Go I wish she is a b***h, as Shane said. Then it would be easy for me to tell her that. But she is a kind-hearted, nice girl... Above everything she loves him so much which always reminds me of the way I love jake... She will be so disappointed... I don't know how she will be able to make her heart... Why Luke? Why you couldn't be just another straight guy and love her... Just think how simple and wonderful that would be... But now everything is utterly complex, and I don’t know how we can find a solution to any of these... Without even knowing, I was crying... I was crying for both of them... For Sally and Luke... Both of them love people who don't love them back... How complicated loving someone really is? When you love someone, and that person loves you back, you will feel your whole life is completed, and you are the luckiest on the Earth... But when the person you love is never going to return to your feelings, your whole life will be just a mess... I can't stand seeing them in that mess... Why God, you make nice peopl like them suffer like this? I wish I know with whom Luke is in love with... At least I can try to find a way to support him. The way he talks about that person clearly indicates how much he loves him... He loves and cares about him so much... H needs nothing but that person's happiness... But why he can't just tell us who that is? Maybe it is because we know that person really well... still, he can trust us... We will never do anything to make him uncomfortable... I was thinking and thinking... God knows for how long... Wait... Why the hell am I starting to feel so uncomfortable... Stupid, Sarah... Stop thinking about bullshit... But my mind was completely out of control... It is making me imagine thing: that I never want to be true... God! Please... I can't stand this... My head is going to explode... I hold my aching head from both of hands... No matter how much I try to control my thoughts, I couldn't just ignore the rationality behind my thoughts as well... There is one rational explanation of all these... The way Luke loves this person... The way he cares about that person's happiness more than his own happiness... The fact that he wants to keep it a secret from even me and Jake... ves... There is only one logical reason I can think of... The person he loves is none other than... Noli! God!!! Noli! This can’t happen... a i