SWNOVELS Chapter Book Two - Ch.# 45
I was a devil.
Never before in my life had I felt those words to be truer than in this moment. This very second as I stood above the bodies of several enemies as they bled out around me. Nothing but rage and pain consumed me inside, feeling absolutely no remorse as I had ripped them to shreds.
From one person to the next, I had methodically ended each of them, an incredible speed in my movement as if I were maneuvering purely by muscle memory alone. Not that I had really needed to act so quickly. Because the entire time I had attacked, they had just stood there completely still, awaiting their turn. Like lambs to the slaughter, unable to move even an inch... just as I had told them to. Only a flash of fear in their eyes betrayed them as I stole their last moments.
Now, I breathed heavily, still shaking from the ordeal... still completely in human form, yet feeling as if I'd had no control over myself... Nor had I wanted it.
No... I might have moved without being fully aware of my actions... but I didn't fight it.
I'd relished it.
But as I started to come to grips with what was happening, there was apparently one thing that was finally able to break my trance.
Just one sound capable of bringing me back to reality.
..The soft whimpers of Myra behind me.
Immediately, I spun around and ran to her, finding her body growing colder as the wound gaped open. A sight that made me sick to look at.
"..Mmmm... Cai? Is that you...?" she asked, struggling to really see me.
I quickly reached for her wound, trying to apply pressure.
“No... It's Rav— it's Rheyna,” I said. “I'm here. I'm... I'm going to get you out of here.”
But her lip twitched into a faint smile, her eyes turning upward towards the sky.
“Rheyna... I'm not immortal,” she said softly, her voice so quiet. “Youthful longevity does not make me invincible. Besides... I think this is the universe's way of finally correcting itself. I think... I think I was always meant to die in this clearing. No... I was told that I did die here once. In another timeline. How... poetic.”
“Myra... Myra, you're not making any sense,” I said desperately. “Timelines? I don't.... I don't understand.”
And she closed her eyes, shaking her head ever so slightly.
“No... I don't suppose you would...” she said, slipping away.
"Hey! Myra! You need to open your eyes now... I'm going to get you out of here,” I cried, trying to shake her a little. “I'm going to save you. I'm going to... I'm..."
“Rheyna... leave me... behind. My time... is done...” she rasped, her breathing becoming more shallow. “Please... save Clarissa. Promise me... you'll save her.”
“NO! Don't say that... I refuse. You're not allowed to stay behind...”
It was getting harder to see her through my own tears, yet it was clear that she was quickly losing consciousness despite everything I was doing to try and save her.
"Did you hear me, Myra?!” I choked out. “I said you can't stay here. You can't... you can't leave me.” Her body then seemed to relax, a calm washing over her... and as I felt her last breath slowly leave her, I could have sworn I heard something whisper from her lips...
Something like....
"...Cai," she sighed.
And it was over.
She was... gone.
A strangled sob escaped me as I knelt over her, choking with so much agony and yearning. To have had something so briefly, something that gave me hope and filled a hole that had been sorely missing... only to be taken so soon.
-.This world was too cruel.
Almost like a game of giving me what I'd always wanted... only to rip it away. Just like with Ashwood. Just like with Kieran.
It was sickening.
“Time to go,” Clarissa then said to my left, limping towards me. “We don't have much time.”
It looked like I'd hurt her during my attempt to run to Myra, having thrown her to the ground in haste. But...
But now she walked up to me as if nothing had happened, her focus remaining only on the trees ahead. Never looking at Myra. As if the woman who had raised her didn't just die.
It was enough to reignite that same spark of fury inside me from earlier.
"You knew...," I said, thinking back to how she'd tried to cover my eyes. “You knew and you didn’t
say anything. If you'd just told me sooner, I could have helped... I could have saved her.”
At this, her eyes finally snapped to meet my own, irritation flaring within.
“And then what?!" she bit back. “You'd miraculously carry both me *and* an exhausted Myra to safety whilst we're being hunted? Get all three of us killed when you're inevitably slowed down severely? I know you're strong, Rheyna, but even you have limits. Stop taking this out on me and realise that this was the only way. That this was... what she wanted.”
Her attitude quickly made me angrier, standing back up to confront her.
“Are you insane?! What she “wanted'?” I shouted. “Are you actually implying that she wanted to get killed? Because that's—."
"— ...Yes,” she interrupted calmly. “That's exactly what I'm implying.”
"What the hell are you even saying right now?!”
“I'm saying that, for Myra’s entire life, she had always put family and friends above everything else. Everything. Even to the point of living these past sixteen years purely for us,” she said, turning her attention back towards the trees. “But she grew tired of being alive a very, very long time ago, Rheyna. She knew that commanding all of these wolves would mean she'd become incapacitated, and she was prepared for this very outcome. She was ready. And now she has died in a way that honours the very thing she always held dearest; her commitment to those she loved, the only thing that has kept her going for so long. Don't discredit her sacrifice due to your own selfish desires for a mother figure.”
“Take that back! Right now!” I growled, barely able to stop myself from attacking her. “How dare you bring up my upbringing! At least you had someone, Clarissa. At least you got to know what it felt like to have a—."
And as I finally caught sight of her face once more, just the tiniest of glimpses from the side, I could have sworn I saw a bit of moisture near her eyes.
"...You're right, I did know the feeling of a loving mother figure. And no matter how many times I see her death, it never gets easier,” she said quietly. "However, at the end of the day..."
*...What?”
But she ignored me, rubbing her face before turning to look at me once more. “At the end of the day... all of this is going to be in vain if we don't leave. Right now. Did you really want her to die for nothing, Rheyna? Surely, not even you are that petty.”
And I gritted my teeth, the tiniest morsel of sympathy I'd had for her instantly diminishing. ..Though I did realise she was right. On one thing, at least.
I didn't want to make Myra’s sacrifice mean nothing.
"Come on,” she snapped. “Pick me up. We don’t have much time.”
Truthfully, she should feel lucky if I didn't just leave her ass behind for how she was treating me. But... Myra had wanted me to save her. It was her last dying wish.
..And so I felt like I had no choice.
Something that ultimately led me to do as she instructed, the two of us quickly sprinting into the woods once more.
"...Where am I going?” I asked after a minute, though I hated to do even that.
Myra had been my guide and now, without her, it really was like I was running blindly in the dark. “Turn left here,” Clarissa said. “We're going to start looping around the edge and heading south now.”
“South?” I asked confused. “Why? We're already so far north.”
“Exactly,” she muttered, irritated. “As we speak, they're sending people to the northern border. They're expecting us to try and cross there since that's the direction we've been running up until now.”
“They'll just track our scent and follow us,” I pointed out. “Besides, I can't run forever... they'll catch up eventually.”
“I'm aware, Rheyna. And I've already got a plan for that. But, just for now... keep running.”
And I did as she said, choosing not to argue further.
We ran for some time, a length that surprised even me since I expected my endurance to give out long before it did. But somehow I managed to push through it, unwilling to fail again. Even if it was just for an entitled, bratty girl who I was quickly starting to loathe.
It was only after an hour or so later that a new scent finally did hit me, something clean and refreshing. Like... water.
“You can slow down now,” Clarissa said, much to my relief.
I really was at the end of my rope at this point, pain shooting down my legs and back. Clarissa was quite tiny but even her weight was quickly taking a tax on me.
“There is a creak just up ahead,” she instructed. “You need to walk into it and continue south.” *...Into it?" I clarified, panting.
"Yes... it's so they can't trace our scent,” she said. “The water will make it incredibly difficult for them to follow, especially if they don't know where we're going in the dark.”
"...And where *are* we going?”
*..To an unmarked cave,” she answered. “An old rogue’s den. They won't find it on any of their maps.”
..1 didn't have the energy to ask any more questions after that.
As it turned out, trekking through the water was exceedingly tough in my exhausted condition. At several points, I found myself almost tripping on the slippery rocks under the surface, the almost knee-high current constantly pushing me away. It took everything I had just to keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that if I slowed too much, I might come to regret it.
"...It should be somewhere here,” Clarissa said after another twenty minutes had gone by.
By this point, I didn't even have the strength to reply, just completely focused on moving as she searched the area around us.
..A task that didn’t take too long.
“There! There it is,” she said, pointing over my shoulder. “Behind those bushes, you can sort of see the outline of a cave entrance behind it.”
And she was right. Just barely visible and easy to miss, I could sort of make out where the cave was meant to be. A good hiding spot considering that it was so hard to see.
“You're almost there... Just a little bit further, Rheyna,” she said, pausing to cough a few times. “There is a larger opening at the end of the main tunnel. We'll find some old beds there. Nothing too fancy but it's better than the floor. We can rest there safely for the night.”
.Just a little bit further. I needed to go... just a little bit more.
I could do this.
These were the thoughts I kept repeating in my head as I forced myself through the intense pain I was now in. Never had I pushed my body to this level of extreme exhaustion, not even close. Which was saying something considering my long history of extensive training.
“...You're almost there...” she encouraged a minute into the dark tunnel.
And I gritted my teeth.
So close now. I was so close.
Close enough to vaguely see where the darkness opened up ahead, indicating a larger space was there.
..Close enough to see the outline of walls... of furniture... the basic shape of beds.
..Close enough to find myself then collapsing on top of one, unable to move another muscle. Soon, the only sound in the cave was that of my laboured breathing filling the air, my body at its absolute limit and crying out for rest.
And as I found myself quickly passing out, the sweet relief of sleep swiftly approaching to release me, I felt as Clarissa’s hand then gently touched my head.
"...Sleep well, Rae,” she whispered.
..And then the darkness took me.