SWNOVELS A Dose of Pretty Poison: Chapter 26
The house party that Cam brings us to is insane. It’s crowded, but not overcrowded, and everyone is in a good mood. Usually, I’d be all about it—cracking a beer and celebrating Cam’s win. But right now, all I can think about is the look on Laiken’s face as she walked away from the beach.
She looked genuinely upset, and if I hadn’t already told Cam I would come tonight before she said she wasn’t going, I would’ve made an excuse to get out of it. I just assumed that she would come too, and we’d have a chance to sneak off together once Cam got a good buzz going. But she decided to go home instead, and I can’t help thinking it’s because of me.
I tried texting her a couple times, but she hasn’t answered. Even though I know she was lying when she told Cam that the sun wore her out, a part of me still hopes she’s sleeping and not just ignoring me intentionally.
“This is a good party,” Cam shouts to me over the music, looking around. “I might disappear in a bit with Layla, just so you know. But there are plenty of hot girls here. You should have no issue finding someone to entertain you tonight.”
I force a chuckle as I take a sip of my beer. “No thanks, man. I’m good.”
His brows raise in surprise. “No way! You’re still sleeping with that same girl? Damn! When’s the last time someone was able to hold your attention like that?”
This conversation is awkward, and I hate it. I feel like an asshole. Lying to Cam isn’t something I enjoy, which is why I try to avoid it. Everything with Laiken hasn’t been blatant lies to his face; they’ve been more of omissions of truth. I’m not telling him that we’re not hooking up, but I’m not giving him a reason to think we are, either.
“This would be the first,” I say, looking around the party to avoid looking at him.
“Well, good for you, man,” he tells me. “I guess the saying is true. There really is someone for everyone.”
A few minutes later, he ends up spotting Layla heading up the stairs, and he tells me he’ll be back down in a bit. But I’m still stuck on his earlier words.
Since the day my dad left, I convinced myself that it was all a lie. The whole notion that you could find someone, fall in love, and spend the rest of your lives together—it was all just a hoax. A bunch of chemicals in your brain, tricking you into giving over parts of yourself that you should never trust anyone else with.
But as his words circulate in my mind, I can’t help wondering if he’s right. And if he is, if there really is someone for everyone, there’s not a doubt in my mind that my person is Laiken.
THE NEXT MORNING, I wake up an hour earlier than I usually would, which is surprising since it took me forever to fall asleep last night. I kept tossing and turning, trying to think of something sweet to do for Laiken. After the way she looked yesterday, so genuinely upset, I just want to put the smile back on her face.
After finally accepting that I’m not exactly the most experienced person when it comes to romance, I resorted to the knower of all things—Google. I found all sorts of ideas, from as extravagant as taking her on a surprise getaway trip, to things as small as sending her a cute good morning text. I opted for something in the middle, which is why I’m on my way to the store to buy some flowers so that I can sneak into the rink while she’s working and leave them next to her bag in the locker room.
I get to the store just after they open, and it only takes a few minutes for me to find the perfect bouquet of pink roses. They’re freshly picked, and the florist, an old lady named Mrs. Garrison, even offers to add a couple more and some baby’s breath for me.
“Here,” she says, handing me a blank card and a pen. “You fill this out while I spruce up this bouquet for you.”
I thank her and watch as she slowly makes her way to the back room. I’ve been coming here for years to get my mom something for Mother’s Day and her birthday, and every time I come, it’s Mrs. Garrison who’s here. She has to be approaching ninety at this point, but ever since her husband passed, this place has become her entire life.
She says it’s the only thing to bring her joy anymore, and she just wants to help people show their love the way Mr. Garrison always showed her.
Picking up the pen, I rack my brain on what to put. I don’t want it to be too cheesy, nor do I want to tell her something I don’t fully mean. I just want something to put a smile on her face.
Something that at least hints at the fact that I may not have it all figured out right now, but she means more to me than just a good time.
The words she said yesterday while we were cleaning up run through my mind, and just like that, I know exactly what to put.
BY THE TIME THAT Mrs. Garrison finishes with the flowers and I pay for them, I only have forty-five minutes to get to the rink, sneak into the locker room, and leave before she sees me. It should be plenty of time. But as I start walking toward my truck, my steps slow as I see Monty leaning against it.
I fucking knew it.
“Hey, Monty,” I greet him, trying to hide the venom in my tone. “What’s up?”
He looks at the bouquet in my hand. “Those are pretty. It’s a shame she’ll never see them.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I spit.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He places his hands in his pockets and takes a step toward me. “You’re going to end things with Laiken, or you’re not going to like the consequences.”
I laugh dryly, wanting nothing more than to knock this fucker on his ass. “I’m not sure how you were raised, Moneybags, but around here, you don’t threaten someone without being prepared to back it up.”
“Okay, let me be a little clearer then,” he says. “Break up with Laiken and tell her you don’t want to do whatever it is you’ve been doing anymore, or I’m going to tell Cam all about how you’ve been fucking his sister behind his back.”
“And he’s going to believe you over his best friend and his sister? You have no proof.”
“Don’t I?”
He takes out his phone and turns it toward me as he presses play. I recognize it immediately. The memory of that day we spent on his boat plays on a constant loop in my mind. I watch as I eat her out before sliding inside of her.
“H,” she moans.
“Shh, baby,” I respond. “I’ve got you.”
My fist clenches and I go to lunge for his phone when he jumps back. “Ah, ah, ah. Careful. I’m not stupid enough to show you my only copy, and one wrong move from you will get this sent straight to Cam.”
He smiles like he’s got it all figured out, and that only enrages me even more. But I still have one other option.
“What if I tell Cam myself?” I ask.
Monty doesn’t look the slightest bit concerned. “You won’t, because you know as well as I do that you can’t give her everything she deserves. You’re selfish, but you’re not heartless. Not where she’s concerned, anyway. You’ll never risk putting her through what your mother went through when your father would treat her like shit.” His brows raise. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s why you won’t commit to her, isn’t it? Too afraid that you and daddy dearest are cut from the same cloth?”
He walks around me, and I turn around to watch him.
“Do her a favor, Wilder,” he yells as he stops to look back at me. “She’ll be better off and you know it.”
“You know she thinks you’re gay, right?” I call back, but it has no effect.
He simply smiles at my pitiful attempt to get under his skin and turns the corner. My jaw clenches as I climb into my truck.
There wasn’t a word he just said that didn’t strike a nerve. And the worst part is, all of them were spot on. I’ve known from the beginning of all this that Laiken deserves someone steady, someone she can count on. Someone who isn’t practically guaranteed to fuck it up. And as much as I’d love to be that person for her, I’m just not.
I’m my father’s son—a fuck-up who’s only good for getting drunk and letting people down.
Gripping the flowers tightly in my hand, I throw them across the truck. It bangs into the door, landing on the passenger seat. And I watch as petals and the handwritten card fall out onto the floor.
I am yours.
I hope you know that.
– H.
I SIT AT THE kitchen table, barely even blinking as I try to figure out how everything all went wrong. The minute Laiken brought up the idea of borrowing Monty’s boat, I had a feeling it was a trap. No one goes from hating someone’s guts to letting them borrow their boat within the same few days. But she insisted that he was just trying to be nice, and I chopped it up to him having enough money to not care if anything happened to the boat.
The worst part is, if I could go back, I don’t think I’d change anything—except maybe finding the hidden cameras and tossing them into the ocean. That whole day we spent together, and the night that followed after it, was one of the best of my life. The kind of memory you think about when you’re in a bad mood and need something to cheer you up. There isn’t a damn thing anyone could say to me that would make me regret it.
And now it’s going to be all I have to hold onto.
Devin comes in and stops when she sees me. “Damn, H. Who pissed in your cheerios?”
“A rich prick with entitlement issues,” I growl.
She snorts. “You mean Monty? Yeah, I figured he was going to be a problem. No one flies back a day early from Barcelona to come to a birthday party in someone’s yard unless there’s an ulterior motive.”
Taking a beer out of the fridge, she ignores the only after three p.m. rule that Mom set after my recent breakfast beer attempt and places it down in front of me.
“Thanks,” I tell her, cracking it open and chugging the whole thing in one go.
Her eyes widen and she smiles hesitantly, but goes to get me another one. “Try sipping it this time. If Mom gets home to find you drunk before noon, the rich prick will be the least of your worries.”
I wish that were true. To be honest, I would trade my mother’s wrath for what I’m going to have to do, any day of the week.
“He’s threatening me,” I admit. “He said that if I don’t end shit with Laiken, he’s going to tell Cam. He even has proof on his phone.”
“That’s vindictive. What did Laiken say about it?”
Dropping my head, I know what’s coming. “I haven’t told her about it.”
Grabbing the empty beer can, she throws it at my head. “Are you really that fucking stupid? She deserves to know!”
“Why?” I snap. “So she can yell at him? Piss him off by telling him she never wants to speak to him again? I may as well send Cam the proof myself.”
She goes quiet for a moment, softening her voice when she speaks next. “Or you could just tell him. Be honest and own up to what’s been going on, and then actually try having something real with Laiken.”
I laugh dryly, taking a sip of my new beer to settle the burning in my throat.
“What?” Devin argues. “You obviously like her enough to risk sneaking around.”
Shaking my head, I look anywhere but at her. “It’s not like that.”
She scoffs. “Okay, Mr. Denial. Go ahead and keep your head up your ass.”
I don’t even know why I try. She’s been able to tell when I’m lying for years, and I brought Laiken back here the other night while she was home. I’m sure she could hear us laughing and joking around.
I swallow down the lump in my throat as I stare back at my sister. “I’m going to fuck it up.”
“You don’t know that.”
Rolling my eyes, I throw my hands in the air. “Look at our parents, Dev. Should I destroy her now by leaving, or wait until after we have a couple kids together like Dad did?”
The thing is, Dev and I haven’t talked about our Dad in years. I think she prefers to convince herself that it’s always just been the three of us. We’ve always been close, holding onto the family we have left with a tight grip. But the way she’s glaring at me right now has to be the angriest I’ve ever seen her.
“You are nothing like him,” she roars. “Do you hear me? The only goddamn thing that man gave you of his was a little bit of DNA.”
“Devin—” I begin, but she’s not about to let me get a word in.
“No, fuck that! You don’t get to throw away what’s most likely the best thing to ever happen to you because of him! If you don’t want to be with her because she’s not your type, or because you just don’t feel the connection, that’s one thing. But he doesn’t get to take this away from you, too. I won’t allow it.”
“You were twelve. You don’t remember.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Yeah, I was twelve. And I may not remember everything, but do you know what I do remember?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” I grumble.
“I remember my fifteen-year-old brother coming into my room and giving me his headphones so I didn’t have to hear Mom crying at night. And I remember you walking me to school, even if it meant you were late, so I didn’t have to walk alone. And I remember the time I broke down after school one day because I didn’t know who was going to walk me down the aisle at my wedding—a problem that was so small to anyone else at the time, but you didn’t care. You wiped my tears and promised that you would be the one to give me away. So don’t you dare act like you haven’t been ten times the man that Dad was since the day he walked out. You’re talking about the absolute best man in my life.”
Getting up, I go over to give her a hug, the same way I used to when we were kids. “I get what you’re saying, but you and I both know she deserves better, whether I’m like Dad or not.”
“No offense, bro, but I don’t think that’s your decision to make.” She lets go and starts to leave the room, stopping at the doorway. “I’ve seen you two together, and I may have thought you were crazy at first, but I don’t think there’s anyone better for her than you.”
“But what if there is?” I counter. “What if by being with her, I’m holding her back from having the life she’s always dreamed of?”
“Then one day, she’ll leave and find someone else. But at least you’ll know instead of always wondering what if.”
The sound of her footsteps fade as she retreats to her bedroom. I know she has a point. She always has a point, as annoying as it is. But this is a bigger risk than I’ve ever taken—not just with Cam, but with Laiken’s heart.
I sit there in silence, letting everything run through my mind. Thinking about everything Monty said, voicing every insecurity I’ve ever had, and then thinking about the way Devin contradicted all of it by nearly ripping my head off for even suggesting I’m like our father. I picture Laiken and the way she smiles at me, like I hung the moon and the stars all for her. I may not have realized it until just now, but she always looks the happiest when we’re together.
And finally, I remember what Cam said last night—that he’s happy for me and how there’s someone for everyone. There’s not a chance in hell he was referring to his sister when he said it, but maybe, after seeing how happy I’ve been the last few weeks, it’s enough to keep him from murdering me in cold blood.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab my keys and head out the door.
I PULL INTO THE driveway that I know so well, parking in my usual spot before heading inside. Cam’s parents are in the living room, and they smile warmly when they see me. I wonder if they’ll still do the same after they find out I’ve been sneaking around with their daughter.
“Hey, Hayes,” Cam’s dad greets me. “How’s everything going?”
“Pretty good,” I tell him, leaving out the part of Laiken having everything to do with anything good in my life. “Cam’s home, right?”
Someone from the opposite team hits a home run, ripping his attention away from me and over to the game as he yells at the TV. Cam’s mom rolls her eyes fondly before nodding toward upstairs.
“He’s in his room, sweetie,” she tells me.
“Thanks, Mrs. B.”
My heart is racing with every step I take, and I can’t believe I’m about to do this. Hopefully with his parents’ home, he’ll be less likely to kick my ass. But then again, if he tells them what’s been going on, they might hold me down while he does.
I stand in the hallway and take a deep breath before opening the door. Cam is sitting on his bed, playing Call of Duty.
“Oh, hey,” he says. “Didn’t know you were coming over.”
Shrugging, I walk around to sit on the bed. “My plans got canceled.”
He gets up and switches the game to NHL Center Ice, handing me the other controller. It’s something we’ve been doing for years, playing video games together. And sure, maybe it’s supposed to fade a little as you get older, but we still take care of all our responsibilities, so I don’t see the harm in it.
The words sit on my tongue as we both choose our teams, and as the game starts, I force them out.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” I tell him. “It’s about Laiken.”
He sighs. “I had a feeling this was coming.”
My brows furrow as I glance at him. “You did?”
He chuckles, managing to steal the puck from me while we talk. “Yeah. It’s pretty damn obvious.”
There’s no way to explain how confused I am. I thought we were hiding it well, but I guess he was able to see right through it. What gets me the most though, is how he doesn’t seem even the slightest bit mad about it. But as he continues, it all becomes clear.
“I’m sure she’ll get over it soon, but I get that it’s awkward. Her having a crush on you and everything.”
Oh. Ohh. He thinks it’s all one sided.
“That is what you wanted to talk about, right?” He asks. “Laiken’s newfound tendency to want to be around you all the time?”
“Y-yeah,” I answer, not exactly lying but choking on the whole truth.
He presses a few buttons, and I’m so distracted that the puck flies into the net, making the score 1-0.
“Honestly, I’m glad it’s you and not one of the other guys.”
My brows raise. “You are?”
“Fuck yeah,” he replies. “At least with you I know I have nothing to worry about. Those assholes would try to sleep with her just for the bragging rights. You’d never even think about touching her.”
Well, fuck. Any chance of me telling him goes right out the window. If I do, I risk losing the closest friendship I’ve ever had. There’s no way he’ll ever forgive me for betraying him like I have.
“Right,” I murmur.
He snickers and nudges me with his elbow. “Just ride it out. Like I said, she’ll get over it. But I appreciate you being a man and coming to talk to me about it. You’re a good friend.”
Correction: Now I feel like an asshole.
THERE’S NOTHING I CAN do. I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out a way that I can keep my best friend and not lose Laiken. I even tried to find a hacker on the internet who could erase the video off all Monty’s electronics. But it all keeps coming back to the same answer.
I can’t have them both.
My phone vibrates in front of me—another text from Laiken. I haven’t answered in a few hours and I feel bad because she actually seems like she’s starting to worry about me. I just needed some time to myself, to really think things over and figure out what I’m going to do. But as a call comes through from her phone, I know I can’t avoid it anymore.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Oh, thank God,” Laiken breathes. “I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere.”
Doesn’t sound like the worst thing right now. “Sorry. I got in late last night and woke up with a killer hangover, so I slept most of the day.”
“As long as you’re all right,” she says warmly. “I miss you.”
Hearing those words sends a pain right through my chest, knowing it’s probably the last time I’ll ever hear them.
“I miss you, too,” I reply, meaning every word. “I meant to come by the rink earlier, but I didn’t wake up until after you already left.”
“Well, what are you doing now? Do you want to hang out for a bit?”
Devin walks in the door and sees me on the phone, but before she says anything, I hold up my hand to stop her.
“Yeah, actually. Can you meet me by the lake where the statue is?”
I can practically hear her smile through the phone. “Sure. Give me about fifteen minutes and I’ll be on my way.”
“Sounds good, baby.” The last word burns as it rolls off my tongue.
We hang up the phone, and I instantly feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m about to break her heart, and she has no idea. Devin, however, obviously doesn’t know how to read the damn room.
“So, you’re seeing Laiken tonight?” she asks with an excited clap of her hands. “I take it your talk with Cam went well?”
I don’t have to say a word. All it takes is lifting my head from my lap so she can see the look on my face, and the single tear that escapes. I watch in slow motion as all the pieces fall into place for her.
Her smile fades as she stares back at me. “No.”