#9 The Lonely Rogue

Junie

I stomped through the castle, in an absolute rampage. I had no idea where I was going, I just knew I needed to get away from there. I was blind with anger, running straight into Malcolm’s chest and bouncing off it like he was made of stone.

“Woah, Junie, are you okay?” Malcolm grabbed my arms, steading me.

“No.” I huffed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked,

“No.”

“Do you want me to take you to Caspian?” He tried again,

“No.”

Malcolm sighed loudly, letting go of my arms.

“Come on, I know what you need.” He said and, without waiting for a reply, started walking ahead of me. I grumbled but followed after him anyway.

Before I knew what was happening, Malcolm had taken me inside the training grounds and was throwing spare clothes in my face.

“There’s a changing tent over there.” He pointed towards a pop up tent that served as a dressing room, calm down space, and healing area.

I didn’t argue as I sulked towards the red and white striped tent. I stripped out of my yellow pants suit and into the woman’s outfit Malcolm had given me. It was a simple pair of black leggings and a thin blue crew neck sweater that hung low over my backside. I didn’t have any proper shoes, so, instead, I went barefoot across the grass and back to the training grounds.

“I don’t have any shoes.” I mumbled as Malcolm smirked at my feet.

“No worries, come on.” He offered me a hand up onto the elevated training mat.

“What are we doing?” I asked, looking around at the few other wolves sparring and training around us.

“You need to work off some of that anger. Here,” He tossed me a pair of gloves, “Put these on.”

“No one else is wearing these.” I observed.

“No one else is mated to Caspian. He’ll kill me if I let your fingers get bruised.” He chuckled, helping me shove my hands into the oversized, black boxing gloves.

“Goddess, how am I supposed to do anything with these?” I gasped as the weight of the gloves pulled my arms down.

“Hit me.” Malcolm said, ignoring my complaints.

“Excuse me?”

“Hit me. Anywhere, as hard as you can.” He said, standing in front of me and motioning me forward.

Weakly, I swung my right arm towards him and the glove bounced off his chest. Malcolm laughed at me,

“Is that all you got?”

I tried again, with a little more effort this time.

“Come on! I know you have more anger than that.” Malcolm shouted.

I hit him twice this time, once with my right fist and then again with my left.

“Harder!”

Two jabs.

“Harder!”

Three jabs.

“More!”

Four jabs and Malcolm was on the ground.

“I knew you had it in you.” Malcolm grinned, popping up from the ground, “Keep going.”

I slammed my padded fists into him over and over again until I couldn’t feel my arms anymore. Malcolm helped me out of the gloves and handed me a bottle of water. I couldn’t even open it on my own, my fingers were buzzing and useless.

“You’ll get used to it the more you train.” Malcolm said, twisting off the cap.

“Train?” I choked.

“Sure. A Luna should be able to defend herself and you have the potential to be a great fighter.” Malcolm plopped down next to me, our feet dangling off the mat, “Caspian will hate it, though.”

“Oh, Caspian will definitely hate it.” I agreed.

“But, he’ll give you whatever you want if you want it badly enough.” Malcolm shrugged.

“I doubt that. He was very argumentative when I wanted to leave the realm by myself, remember?” I reminded him.

“He’s a smart man, he won’t make the same mistake twice.” Malcolm said,

“Things seem better between you two lately.” I noticed and Malcolm shrugged again,

“You bring out the best in him. He was insufferable before and it felt like he had given up on finding Sabrina’s killer.”

“You really liked Sabrina.” I said.

“I really like you, too.” He knocked his shoulder against mine and I laughed,

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not jealous.”

“I know, you’re pretty amazing that way, you know that?” Malcolm said,

“Why, thank you, Mal.” I faked vanity, flipping my sweaty hair over my shoulder. Malcom laughed and shook his head at me before he continued,

“Caspian and I were always very close, before he became king. I feel connected to his mate. Sabrina was like a sister to me and, after she died, it felt like Caspian just gave up instead of being vengeful.” Malcolm explained.

“He had just lost his mate, in front of his eyes, can you blame him?” I asked.

“If it were me, I’d be too angry to do nothing.” Malcolm’s face hardened and I sighed loudly, knowing I was about ready to betray Caspian’s trust.

“I shouldn’t tell you this, but you need to know. Malcolm, Sabrina was pregnant when she died.” I admitted and Malcolm’s eyes went wide.

“She was…..”

“Caspian didn’t just lose his mate, he lost his child. He lost his family, his entire future. He didn’t give up, he had nothing left.” I said in a voice that broke for my mate.

“I had no idea.”

“Caspian didn’t want you to know, he didn’t want anyone to know.” I said,

“Why did you tell me?” Malcolm asked.

“I want you and Caspian to be close again, and I know he wants that, too.” I explained.

Malcolm leaned back on his elbows thoughtfully, saying nothing.

“Can I ask you something else?” I said,

“You can ask.” Malcolm smirked.

“I know all about the Trials and how Caspian became king, what I don’t know is why he and you both seem to think you should’ve gotten the title.” I asked carefully, not wanting to ruin the progress in their relationship with my proding.

Malcolm took a deep breath and sat up again, looking at me with a strange expression; it was like he was trying to decide what, if anything, to tell me.

“It’s a long story, Junie.” He sighed.

“I don’t have anywhere to be.” I shrugged and Malcolm laughed dryly.

“As the oldest, I naturally had the most training, both in the diplomacy and physical aspects of the crown. Cas and I grew up as best friends, acting as each other’s biggest allies and competitors. We both openly predicted that I would be named king, and not just because I’m the eldest.” Malcolm began.

“Because, as your grandmother declared, the eldest wasn’t guaranteed the right to the crown. She ordered a competition of all the attributes it takes to be the leader to determine the next heir.” I declared and Malcolm nodded,

“Exactly, but even Cas agreed that I would be named king. We both went into the Trials thinking it was just a formality and that I was already primed for the role. I don’t know where I went wrong, how I lost it to Caspian, and I didn’t stick around long enough to ask.” Malcolm frowned.

“Who decides the winner? I mean, who would you even ask about that?” I asked.

“We don’t learn who the judges are until the Trials are complete. Once the heir is announced, the judges are revealed and we have the opportunity to privately discuss the results with them. I left immediately after the judgment, fled really. It was more than a year before I returned for the first time, and even more than that until I spoke to Cas again.” Malcolm replied.

“Caspian doesn’t seem to know why either, didn’t he ask?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I would have thought he did. Our first real conversation didn’t happen until Sabrina came around. After she died, we stopped talking again until I heard about you. I guess I felt it was easier to be around him with a buffer, a beautiful lady buffer.” He winked at me and I shook my head, laughing softly.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win the Trials, but I can’t help but think that Caspian was always the right man for the job. Maybe I’m biased, but he’s done such a good job.” I answered timidly.

“No, you’re right. He’s done amazingly well, better than I give him credit for. Hell, better than I probably would’ve done. Cas had something to prove, I felt like I didn’t. Maybe that’s why he was the better choice.” Malcolm shrugged.

I didn’t have anything else to say so we just sat there quietly until Caspian’s scent whirled around me just as he called out my name. I hopped down from the mat, groaning as my tiered muscles protested. Before Caspian reached me, Malcolm ran up to his brother and tackled him with a bear hug. I laughed at Caspian’s confused expression.

“What is this?”

“A hug, brother.” Malcolm said plainly.

“I know that. I mean, why?”

Malcolm pulled away and grinned,

“I just felt like it.” Malcolm shrugged before walking away. Caspian was frozen in place for a minute before he shook himself out of it and walked up to me again.

“Are you okay?” He asked, taking my face in his hands, “Mother told me what happened and I was worried when I couldn’t find you. What are you doing out here?”

“I ran into Malcolm and he thought I needed a stress reliever. He let me punch him.” I said and Caspian laughed abruptly,

“And then he hugged me? Yikes, you must’ve given him a concussion.” He said and I smirked.

“Did your mother tell you everything?” I asked and Caspian nodded,

“She did. Do you want to go inside and talk about it?” Caspian offered.

“If I have to.” I complained loudly and Caspian laughed again, taking my hand and dragging me towards the packhouse.

Caspian led me into his room and we crawled onto his bed. Caspian spread out so I could lay against his chest.

“Mother came to me a few days ago about her suspicions of Constance being your mother. I thought it was too much of a coincidence so I let her introduce you two. I should’ve been there for you, I should’ve known better.” Caspian sighed and I could practically hear him mentally kicking himself.

“How could you have known? I mean, what are the chances?” I said, leaning my head against his chest as I laid between his legs.

“What are the chances of any of this?” He asked, sounding frustrated. I craned my neck to look into his eyes,

“This is all my fault.” I sighed.

“What? No, dearest, that’s not what I meant.” He argued, adjusting himself so he could look into my eyes.

“It’s true, though. My family is connected to everything bad that’s happened in your life.”

Caspian grabbed a hold of me and turned me in his arms so that I was facing him, bracing myself with my elbows against his chest. Caspian ran his hand through my hair, pulling it from my face.

“You are everything good in my life.” He said clearly and I smiled up at him,

“You’re the only good thing in my life.” I said and Caspian looked at me sadly,

“That’s not true. You have Vivian, Cole, Malcolm, Ally, my mother, your bar staff….everyone here loves you so much.” Caspian argued.

“I’m afraid I’m going to drag them down with me, too.” I admitted in a quiet voice.

“You’re not dragging anyone down, my love. Your parents are no reflection on you.” Caspian urged me to listen, caressing my face lovingly with his too large hands.

“I just don’t understand how she could abandon me like that.” I said, my voice cracking as the emotions finally began to overwhelm me.

Caspian pulled me even closer to him, pressing his lips to my forehead and then tucking me under his chin as I cried silently.

“I don’t either, love, I can only imagine that she was under so much stress and felt so much fear that she was unable to think rationally.” He mumbled against my hair.

“Are you defending her?” My voice hitched as I tried to sit up, Caspian refused to let me go.

“No, my sweets, I’m just trying to help you.” He said in a compassionate tone of voice. I settled myself against his chest once more and closed my eyes.