𝔹𝕖𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕍𝔼𝕀𝕃 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝟙

“Zaphira sweetie don’t get too close to the water you’re going to get swept up by the current.” Mom said with her soft gentle voice. I turned around bouncing seeing mom sit under her umbrella on the blanket as she sunbathed.

Blane ran frantically across the sand laughing as he called my name. “Zaphira! Zaphira.” He hollered mom turning her head as she watched Blane trip over the sand falling to his knees.

“Oh my God Blane are you okay! She asked as she got up from the comfort of the blanket and ran to his aid.

I watched blankly as she helped Blane to his feet dusting his knees off as he smiled with that goofy grin.

“I’m fine promise I just wasn’t watching where I was going.” He said before turning to me “guess what I found called out to me before walking towards me putting his hand out to show me, but the sun blocked my vision.

“What is it?” I asked as he reached me. Moments later he put a small starfish in my hand

the suction from its body sticking to my palm.

“Wow! A starfish.” I said ecstatically as I looked in awe. Blane grinned at me then grabbed the starfish and put it in a pale. “Wow! did you collect all of these fishes?” I asked as I followed him to the pale.

“Mommy! Look, look Blane found lots and lots of Fishes I said as I called for mommy who was lying back and tanning. Mom sat up and looked at us then at the pale.

“Blane good job you must want that tank huh?” Mom said as she looked at Blane.

Tank? What tank?

“Yeah, of course.” He said enthusiastically practically bouncing.

I watched in confusion when a strange feeling washed over me. Blaine’s voice slowly faded until all I could see was his lips moving my mom’s lips smiling as she talked to Blane slowly the image began to crinkle blackening until I was swallowed fully into the darkness.

I remember that day Blane, me and mom all went to the beach together… Though I can’t exactly remember which beach that was. But I remember it was one of the best days before that day.

“Promise me you will be safe.” Mom’s voice said sounding fearful. Slowly a white light began to spark in the darkness slowly revealing the house, the living room where mom stood looking at a man as a small baby lied and the cradle beside her.

Is that… Father? He looks so young this must be shortly after I was born.

“Don’t worry sweetie I will be safe I will be home soon I promise, just stay here and watch over our precious baby and before you know it, I will be back.” The man said taking mom into his arms and hugging her.

I watched in silence as mom said goodbye to father tears streaming her eyes as she cried like he was never going to come back.

“If only he knew,” mom said she collapsed on the ground sobbing. “If only… He knew.” She repeated over and over into her hands.

Like a horrifying play, the image changed showing mom in the kitchen humming happily until somebody knocked on the door.

“Hello?” Mom asked as she answered the door, to shadowed men that stood in the entrance as they greeted mom.

“Hello, this is the Xian residents?” One of the men said formally.

Mom studied the shadowed figures. “Y- Yes this is the Xian residents. Her expression looking pained. The man stepped closer the light from the house illuminating off him revealing his officer's uniform.

“Ma’am I’m sorry for having to tell you this but,” the officer said sympathetically as he took off his police hat. “It has been brought to our attention that your husband Jonathan Xian has been killed.” The officer said as he looked at mom.

Mom froze in her spot her eyes widened as teardrops trickled down her cheeks her lips quivering as she tried to muster words but couldn’t.

Moments later mom collapsed in the doorway her sniffles echoing in the silent living room as she wept.

“H- How?” Mom finally managed to say in between sobs as she looked at the officer.

“He was unfortunately in a car accident ma’am.” The second officer said as he knelt to mom.

Mom began to sob it even more her eyes pooling with tears when the sound of my cries interrupted, I watched mom’s head snapping in my direction as she quickly rose to her feet picking me up in her arms as she relaxed me.

“Thank you… For telling me I can’t imagine how hard it is for you guys to come to my door and tell me.” Mom said in a low voice sad and pained.

“You’re welcome, ma’am we should be going if you need anything do not be afraid to contact us, we will help you get help.” One of the officers said politely before bowing and leaving the entrance.

Moments passed and I was thrown into darkness again as pain and sorrow filled my heart.

What’s going on? What are these memories? Are these even memories how could I know what happened to my father? I thought as I drifted into the darkness.

My heart aching for my mother as I sat in the darkness the memory of my father Jonathan being loving and caring to my mother just moments before his accident.

“It’s begun… I knew… I knew,” mom’s teary-eyed voice said in the darkness, teardrops trickling in the black abyss that swallowed me whole. “I must protect Zaphira she is the only one left,” mom’s voice said in the darkness. Slowly white light slowly sparked in the darkness like a dot Slowly bleeding into the blackness revealing the house and mom pacing back and forth.

A photo of me and Blane hung on the wall mom holding me as Blane stood next to me smiling.

“Mira?” Blaine’s soft voice as he made his way down to the living room, he was wearing a worn-out paint set the center of his chest covered in green paint.

Mom jumped as she turned to Blane, she blinked a few times then gave him a small smile.

“Blane! What are you doing down here I thought you and Zaphira were painting? Mom said with her best natural voice tone.

“We were but we spilled all the green paint trying to decide who should color the background.” He said sounding apologetic.

Mom’s sighed then knelt next to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay I’ll help you clean it.” Mom said reassuringly.

“Thank you, Mira! Blane said.

Mom looked at Blane for a moment confused as she studied his face, an almost hurt expression barely visible in her eyes.

“Blane… Why do you call me by my name? Mom asked curiously as she looked worried. Blane looked hesitant as he shifted and his spot.

“I don’t know….” Blane said unsure of himself as he looked guiltily at mom. Mom smiled as she patted him on the head.

“Take your time there’s no rush just know that no matter what you are always welcome, and you are always part of the family.” Mom said.

“Mira, why do you look said?” Blane asked as they were about to make their way up the stairs.

“What makes you think I’m sad?” Mom asked sounding worried a small twitch forming in her left eye.

“Because whenever you’re sad or worried you pace across the floor, and I heard you mumbling when I was coming downstairs,” Blane said nonchalantly.

Yeah, why is she mumbling to herself? And she’s repeating the same thing over and over again is there something I am missing? Maybe I should look in the box.

Mom took a deep breath before looking at him her eyes studying his as if she was looking for something.

“I’m just worried nothing to worry about Blane.” Mom said.

Blane frowned as he looked unconvinced, his small hand rested on her shirt.

“It’s okay you can tell me,” Blane said as he nodded as if to confirm that it was okay.

“Our kindergarten teacher Mrs. whether told us it is okay to tell people when we’re sad, that we don’t have to carry our pain by ourselves,” Blane said as if he was reciting a play.

Mom looked at him thoughtfully as if trying to decide whether she was going to tell him. after a moment she put her hand over her face and laughed nervously.

“Your teacher is a smart one,” mom said before beginning. “I’m just worried about grown-up matters; I just want to make sure that you and Zaphira are well taken care of if anything happens to me.”

Blane just looked at mom for a moment then nodded to her. “

I’m not sure if anything will ever happen but if anything does, I promise I will take care of Zaphira,” Blane said finally breaking the long silence.

“Blaine sweetheart I appreciate the offer, but you are no older than Zaphira, I know that you will always protect her and stand by her but who’s going to protect you guys?” Mom added as she put her hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know but I know that she will need somebody that can understand her pain if anything did happen, I may be young, and I don’t remember my parents much, but I know that it hurts that no matter who I come in to contact with or live with they will not be my parents and she would feel the same,” Blane said sounding more mature than he came off.

Mom looked sad as she hugged Blane. “For a young child you are very smart sometimes you are very convincing as a much older child.” Mom said as she released Blane and started walking towards the stairs.

What the hell did I just watch? I thought confused as I watched the darkness swallow me again.

Whose memory is this mom's or Blaine’s? Is that what he meant when he said he made a promise to mom? Did he promise that he would take care of me?

“Zaphira!” Blane yelled out his childlike voice high-pitched in the darkness, his voice bouncing off the imaginary walls as it echoed. “Wait for me.”

Slowly the darkness rippled again as the sunshine broke through the void slowly revealing my young self running at top speed down the street.

“Hurry up!” I squeaked with anticipation, “Mommy is waiting for us.” I said as I halted at the curb frantically pushing the button to cross.

“Calm down Zaphira your gonna fall!” Blane yelled as he tried to keep up.

I remember this day…. it was the day… I thought as a tight feeling weld up in my chest.

Blane caught up with me as the beeping sound from the stoplight got louder before the walking symbol appeared.

I stood bouncing in excitement as I waited to cross my younger self unaware of the misfortune, she was gonna witness.

I watched painfully as my younger self crossed the street with Blane humming the familiar Disney song I grew up to.

My chest tightened as they slowly got closer to the destination, the sounds of the cars crashing into each other the color of red staining my memory as the accident played in my mind. I watched as mom’s body hit the ground, I had to blink a few times as tears roomed my eyes at the memory.

“Do you think mommy is going to let us watch the movie again?” My voice said breaking the silence.

“Haven’t you gotten tired of that movie yet you’ve watched it like a million times,” Blane said sounding annoyed.

“Of course, not and when I grow up, I want to be a Disney princess, I want to be a mermaid just like Arial,” I said pouting.

Blane looked at me and frowned.

“So that you can grow legs and be human anyway so that you can be with a prince?” He said sounding as if he was mocking me.

“Hmph! I can be a princess and a mermaid; I could be a princess mermaid.” I said defensively.

“… sure, you can… be a princess or a mermaid that is but you can’t be both,” Blane said as he started to walk again.

“That’s not true Arial was both a mermaid and a princess she was the princess of King Triton of the sea,” I said as I followed him.

He never did believe in me being a princess and a mermaid, it always had to be just one or the other as if princess Arial was not a real princess just a fish with a tail, then became human than a princess. Somebody really has to tell him that King Triton was a king thus making his children princesses not just mermaids.

Blane said nothing he just exhaled as he ignored my statement, I watched in fearfully as my younger self spotted my mother across the street.

I could remember the feeling I had when I was going towards her that day, the feeling of pure happiness and innocence. As if the black void I was surrounded by knew that I didn’t want to hear the incident the sound vanished as I watched my mouth move. I gripped my chest as I watched my mother across the street waving towards us the little Walkman on the stoplight blinking for everyone to hurry.

No mom doesn’t go stay still don’t cross!!

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment too afraid to look but too guilty to not look as I took a deep breath and looked at the image playing in front of me.

I could see from the corner of the memory the swerve of the car that sped down the street towards everyone on the road, and in the blink, I could see the car appear, even without the sound I could hear the screams of people calling for everyone as they tried to warn about the car. But like a ghost, it appeared hitting the people on the road like bowling pins.

My heart dropped and the smile from my face faded as tears ran down my eyes, I could still remember the fear and hurt as I knew that mom was going to die and I couldn’t stop her.

Damn it couldn’t you have just ended it before it happened while he showed me this? Why must I rewatch her die in front of me all over again?

The young me cried collapsing on the sidewalk as Blane hugged me, I could hear my cries echo in the void as if the sound was still on. The people on the streets running to the injured and dead, the car was pressed to a halt the driver frantically called 911.

Slowly the memory began to fade leaving me again in the dark void hugging myself.

“It’s begun, it’s begun.” Mom’s voice echoed into the darkness, sending chills down my spine as I looked around.

“What’s begun? Dammit, why can’t you tell me what began?” I yelled into the void as of mom could hear me.