North x Northwest

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As Ed couldn’t even bear an hour of silence, he ended up in front of Lil’s boudoir.

‘Based on Liloa’s reaction earlier, it appears that she doesn’t want to meet me any time soon, but I can’t just sit back and wait…’

He couldn’t afford to remain passive when Lil might never speak to him again, so Ed cautiously knocked on the door, mumbling doubtfully.

“…It’s me…”

Thinking that Lil perhaps couldn’t hear his voice because there was no response, Ed stood closer to the door and spoke a little more forcefully.

“Please open the door. Please.”

When the door actually opened, Ed was overcome with joy. It was as if the gates to heaven had been unlocked right then and there… However, instead of Lil, he was met with Levi’s arrogantly frowning face peering through the crack.

“What are you doing? What if Lil breaks for real this time?”

“…”

“You’re well aware of who is currently the least helpful in stabilising my patient, right?”

“…”

“How can it be that she lost consciousness and even coughed up blood? Seeing her progress from the past days, does that even make sense? In addition, I heard she passed out while making a scene about leaving the house…”

“…”

“Yes, of course, you have no obligation to tell me, but I know who’s to blame. So hurry! Get away from here.”

Levi stirred a hand through the closing door as a gesture to send him away, but Ed drove his fingers into the rapidly thinning gap, causing the irritated Levi to come to a halt.

Ed spoke nervously, not even considering widening the gap.

“Is she asleep? I just need to see her and then I’ll go.”

“Oh no, don’t even dream about it. God, you’re so thick-headed.”

“…”

Levi clicked her tongue and removed each of Ed’s fingers one by one from the door he was still holding.

“Go to Linhardt and wait. I tried so hard to put her to sleep so that she could have some rest, but you might wake her up just like that. Right now, Lil is really, really sensitive. What if she wakes up when you come in to see her? If she loses her trust even in me, then who else can treat her?”

When Levi mentioned losing Lil’s trust, Ed couldn’t be persistent anymore and the door shut as soon as his last ring finger fell. Standing in the hallway for a while, Ed started to move in a daze at some point. With each step, his feet felt more heavy, as if he was stepping through the mud.

‘…I still don’t know if her bleeding has been controlled or if she has calmed down… I had no intention of letting her know about this whole ordeal with Mireille without giving a single warning. Why did she have to see the portrait first? …No, what’s the point in leaving it like this?’

Ed went back to the boudoir. But as he couldn’t get himself to open the door, he finally turned around and walked down the hallway.

***

Linhardt’s cabinet was crammed with administration officials and attendants carrying important documents. Linhardt, who was in the centre of such a crowd, cast a glance at the entering Ed, who then slipped inside the tea room next to Linhardt’s cabinet and sat in the first chair he could find.

Reflecting on the eventful hour, he regretted every second of it. Useless assumptions spread out in dozens of directions, creating all kinds of absurd endings.

‘…Would she have reacted differently if I had said this at the time? …Or would I’ve been able to hold on to Liloa if I had said that?’

His heart skipped a beat every time he realised that the scenarios filling his head were purely fictitious…

“What are you doing?”

Linhardt, who sat across from Ed, leaned on the backrest and crossed his legs. The cabinet beside the tearoom had quieted down, so Ed assumed that Linhardt sent the rest of the people away without him realising it.

Ed remained silent, unable to even raise his head.

“I heard that Visha is recovering well…”

“…”

“…Seeing you like this is reminding me of the times when you used to cry loudly and it would wake us all up. And if that wasn’t bad enough we had to drag our feet. It was so annoying.”

“…”

He chewed on the grass stem he was nibbling on.

“Anyway, I guess childhood habits are hard to get rid of, huh? When you were this small, you would tend to cry loudly. And now, even when you’re this old…”

“Shut up.”contemporary romance

Instead of sounding tough, Ed’s harsh remark lost all credibility when it was muffled by a sniffing sound. His reaction stemmed from the tears he’d shed earlier, not particular from now, but because Ed didn’t want to explain it and appear pathetic, he ignored Linhardt’s mockery.

“That Visha, I didn’t like her at first, but it must’ve been a mistake in my judgement. I feel like she’s turning you into a man. I take back my words about her.”

“…”

“You need to suffer a little more. In fact, I think you grew up a little too comfortably. Even Grandpa said it himself, that you were so engrossed in your own life that you were always alone and only thinking about yourself.”

“Don’t try to act like a brother.”

“You arrogant… tsk, no respect. Biologically, I’m ten days older than you, but I bet my mental age is much older.”

“What bullshit…”

“Actually, I heard it from Sir Grits. He said it seemed like you had a fight with Visha…”

“…”

At this point, Linhardt could no longer hide his laughter and he let out a clear, low chuckle. However, as Ed couldn’t deny it, he had no choice but to remain silent.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you as distraught as this in all my years of living.”

“…”

However, just because Ed couldn’t refute it didn’t mean he had decided to put up with the humiliation. Ed jumped up from his seat with the intention of leaving. When he turned around his chair, Lindhardt called out to him with the same excitedly teasing voice as before.

“So, any idea on how to turn an angry person’s heart back around?”

Ed involuntarily stopped. Instead of pondering hard on an answer as he had done, he thought of a much more straightforward approach.

‘Perhaps a gift?

Instead of any regular gift, shall I clear out Gualtiero right away? If I bring the sailors back to Liloa… However… if I do that, I won’t be able to avoid treason.’

Ed managed to put an end to his self-destructive imagination thanks to his own undeniable rebuttal that a superficial gift that was only shiny on the outside would never be accepted.

‘Because doing so won’t address the root cause of Liloa’s rage… No matter how much I apologise, her feelings won’t be alleviated… Yes, I’d need something more than an apology, but I’m out of ideas for now…’

Ed became surprised at his own realisation. He was someone who had never apologised to anyone and he had never tried to change someone’s heart.

As if Lindhardt had read his mind, he added.

“Once you find out, that’s what it means to be human.”

In the midst of Ed’s confusion, Levi came into the room and looked at Ed awkwardly.

“What are you doing? Sit down.”

Levi, who had passed Ed and kissed Linhardt on the cheek, sat close to him.

Linhardt immediately held her by the waist and kissed her on her forehead. It was behaviour that Ed usually didn’t mind, but it was something he didn’t want to see right now. Ed returned to his seat while attempting to hide his annoyance.

“Is that the medical journal?”

“This is something I secretly brought out. Lil is still sleeping, so she couldn’t say anything, but if she knew, she wouldn’t like the fact that I showed you.”

While Levi handed over the medical journal, Linhardt intervened.

“Wait, her name is Lil?”

“Yes…”

“Is it just… Lil?”

“Yes. But the servants don’t know this yet. Only we do.”

“That’s interesting. It’s a pseudonym and not a full name, right? So, there must be a reason why you’re hiding her identity.”

“Why do you even have to say that out loud? Just pretend you didn’t hear anything, Linhardt.”

“All right.”

Linhardt and Levi didn’t hesitate to show their affection for each other. They cuddled and rubbed each other’s foreheads while Ed checked the journal.

Eventually, Ed slammed the journal down, expressing his displeasure with them.

“Tone it down will you.”

Linhardt sneered at him.

“Why are you taking it out on us?”

“That’s right, don’t take it out on us. Instead, beg for Lil’s forgiveness. Do it properly. And don’t ever piss her off again. I can only imagine how angry she must’ve been that she actually passed out!”

“This poor guy has no tricks. He probably doesn’t know anything.”

“Oh, yes. Now that you mentioned it…”

Levi raised her brows and covered her mouth, obviously surprised. Ed felt the momentary urge to tie the two perfectly matched beings together and toss them somewhere, but he wasn’t in a position to throw cold water on them*. In front of a couple who has been in a successful relationship for several years, Ed was nothing but an infinitely shabby idiot.

He opened his mouth.

“How…”

“..?”

Anticipating Ed’s following words, Linhardt suppressed a smile and closed his lips tightly.

“…What should I do?”

As she couldn’t believe those words really came from Ed, Levi exclaimed with her mouth wide open.

“…Oh my God…”

***

Footnote:

Throw cold water on it: Korean idiom, meaning ‘to spoil the mood’.

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